Dungeon Tour Guide (ch. 45) (Patreon)

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Getting hit by an explosion was never fun, though it was a little more common than one might expect. During my brief time as an adventurer and my ongoing stint as a dungeon, I’d suffered through at least four or five major ones, and it was probably never going to get any easier.

Thankfully, stacking together a few resistances to pain, force, fire, and such—provided to me as part of the suite of spells offered by [Divine Healer], of course—meant that I wouldn’t suffer too much from the hit.

Still, I was never going to get used to the sensation of being fully lifted off the ground by the force of someone else’s spell, to the dulled sting of raging flames searing my skin off, to the impacts of shrapnel on my skin.

The entire process took less than a second, but with my dungeon half’s mind working in overtime, it felt like far longer than that.

I saw the air itself ripple as the force of the spell ripped out towards us, hitting Jackson then me then the other two. I watched as the fiery rage of the Kingsguard’s last fuck-you engulfed all of us for the briefest of seconds, observed the stone he’d been encased in shatter and fly at us like so many flechettes.

It would be over in an instant, but even that much was enough for me to evaluate what needed to happen.

Ed first, then the [Analyst]. Despite being the closest, Jackson had managed to reactivate his shield, though the angle it was at wasn’t the best. He would probably suffer injuries, but nothing life-threatening. Ed and the [Analyst], on the other hand, were further away from the blast than I was, but neither of them had any protection.

I hit the ground, jostling my thoughts, and then I felt a sensation that once would’ve been pain. Now, it felt more like a deeply uncomfortable shiver up my spine each time something new landed.

Alright. I could deal.

First, what issues did I have? [Divine Healer] meant that I couldn’t actually heal myself without healing others, but knowing the damage I’d taken would be pretty important.

I went to cast a [Triage] on myself, but when I opened my mouth to speak the required command phrase for it, I found my words getting caught in my throat. Something about its soreness was keeping me from speaking, which I found a little odd.

When I clutched at my throat, I found out why. I slid my hand up my neck but before I could massage it, my hand made contact with a rough, oblong surface.

If I could’ve sighed without putting my life in danger, I would’ve. Using my dungeon senses told me that yep, I had indeed gotten a chunk of rock about an inch and a half wide and thrice as long stuck straight through my throat. Accompanying it were a few dozen other less major injuries, including a finger that had been blasted off, a leg that was definitely broken given the way it caved when I tried to put weight on it, and probably a bunch of internal injuries that I couldn’t clock without heavily focusing or using [Triage].

Right. Okay. I’d almost forgotten how much [Divine Healer] reduced the amount of pain I felt. I could’ve mistaken my current condition for normal, and that would’ve certainly led to my death if I hadn’t been careful.

This was fine. I wasn’t actually able to heal myself—a rare restriction for a [Healer], but it was one of [Divine Healer]’s few drawbacks—but I would start restoring my body if I helped heal others.

Jackson was fine. He’d still need healing—there were a few burns and lacerations that would certainly get infected if he let them fester—but of the four of us, he’d been the least injured. It looked like he hadn’t had time or the presence of mind to fully activate his shield, since he’d still been hurt and hadn’t been able to protect any of us, but he was intact enough to get to later.

The [Analyst], conversely, was doing a fair bit worse. I couldn’t [Triage] him, but I could see that he had some pretty nasty external burns. Parts of his skin had been singed black, and he was bleeding in a dozen places where shrapnel had struck him. The force of the blow might’ve given him a concussion, too, since he was unconscious. Still breathing, at least.

Ed was dead.

Thank the goddess, it wasn’t an irreparable death. A solid strike to the chest had crumpled it in, and a following blast of stones made into deadly projectiles had torn his heart out, which had been enough to kill him before I’d fully recovered from the shock of the blast.

What mattered was that it had been less than five minutes and his head and most of his body was still intact. [Revivify] was the only death-curing spell I had, and it was a lot more restricted than [Resurrection]-type spells, which were considerably higher-leveled.

Have to time this right. I was feeling a little woozy even through the pain-reducing effects of my unique skill, which was never a good sign. The last time I’d felt anything resembling pain, I’d died and turned into this mess here.

I made my way to the bloody corpse, each step placed carefully and deliberately. On my third step, my right leg buckled under me, the broken limb not supporting my weight.

Fuck me.

I picked up a small rock from the ground and tossed it at Jackson. Still can’t talk. That’s annoying.

The [Shieldbearer] cried out in pain—apparently, not having a skill to mitigate how much things hurt meant that his comparably minor wounds hurt more than mine—but he did turn to look at me.

He cried out again at the sight of me and his companion’s body, but I ignored his words, pointing at me and then the dead [Arcane Archer].

My arms weren’t working amazingly well, but thankfully he got the point.

“You can heal him? Also, you’re alive?”

In lieu of a nod, I gave him a thumbs up. Hurry up, or this fucking rock is going to change that answer.

Jackson supported me wordlessly the rest of the way there, bending down to let me sling an arm around his shoulders. My legs were still fritzing out on me, but he was able to get me to his companion. He was unflinching in his support, at least.

I tried to take a deep breath in, but the obstruction currently jammed through my neck wasn’t very conducive to that, so I settled for just steeling myself mentally, placing a hand on the shrapnel that’d pierced me.

Three, two, one—

With all the remaining force in my burnt arms, I tore the stone out.

“What the fuck?” Jackson shouted, jumping back.

Blood geysered from my throat immediately afterward, warm liquid spraying at my chin and chest. I had to admit it was a little disconcerting to not feel the pain associated with that—

Focus. With this rate of blood loss, I wouldn’t have long if I didn’t start casting.

[Revivify] needed both verbal and somatic components. My hands were functional enough to cast, and with the obstruction removed, I had enough remaining of my vocal chords to gasp out the command phrase.

The spell took effect immediately, knitting together torn flesh and regrowing lost organs. It couldn’t have happened soon enough.

[Divine Healer] triggered as I brought the [Arcane Archer] back from just beyond death’s door, closing the most severe of my wounds.

I coughed as the spell progressed, hacking up the accumulated blood of the life-ending injury I’d just taken.

My throat felt normal again, so I tried speaking. “Ow.”

“Is he alive?” Jackson asked.

“In a second,” I said, wincing as bone realigned itself. “Just—“

“You better not fuck this up,” he warned me.

“Give me some space, okay? You saw, well—“ I glanced down and gestured towards myself, towards my blood-soaked cloak. “I’m doing my best.”

Ed gasped awake, the sound weak enough that Jackson didn’t catch it.

“He’s alive,” I said, passing him a [Spare the Dying]. [Revivify] brought you from one side of death to the other, but it didn’t take you much further. “I’ll have him stabilized in a second. I need to tend to the [Analyst] afterwards.”

I sent a [Rejuvenating Pulse] and several [Multiplicative Heal]s at the [Arcane Archer]. Each of them exhausted more mana than the last, but any job worth doing was worth doing well. I wasn’t going to let him die.

All told, it took maybe two minutes and most of my mana to get him back into a state where I was confident he wouldn’t heavily injure himself or die if he moved wrong.

With that sorted, I needed to handle the [Analyst]. I didn’t have that much mana left, but it did regenerate naturally—slowly, yes, but it did—fast enough for me to manage a [Healing Stream] or two, which was more than enough. The [Analyst] wasn’t in risk of immediate death, so a couple of those to get him back to consciousness and slowly mend his wounds would be fine.

“Wha… what jus’ happened?” Ed asked, his accent creeping more heavily into his voice.

“Oh, you’re awake,” I said. “I just saved your life, that’s what.”

“He did,” Jackson admitted. “I’m sorry. I couldn’t get to you in time.”

“Don’t worry about it,” I said. “Actually, do worry about it, work on your response times, but in this case don’t blame yourself too much, yeah?”

“Thank you, Lucas,” Ed said. “How bad?”

“You kind of didn’t have most of your ribcage,” I said. “Heart was missing too. Pretty sure you were dead.”

The [Arcane Archer] recoiled. “Goddess. I can’t repay you enough, then.”

“Leave a good review or something,” I said, shrugging. “Maybe put a good word in for me with your boss. Owe me a favor, I dunno. That’s not what’s important, though.”

Salman’s eyes opened.

“That’s everyone awake!” I cheered. “You’re welcome for me saving your lives, feel free to thank me, blah blah blah, we have immediate concerns.”

“We do,” the [Analyst] said, surprisingly put together and, well, not brain-damaged for someone who’d just been blasted so hard they’d fallen unconscious. Thank you, magic healing. “First: let the [Record] show that Kingsguard may be carrying martyr-type explosive spells with them.”

Now that everyone was alive and well, the tension went out of the only somewhat severely injured [Shieldbearer].

Jackson turned to me. “I did tell you that it would be better to kill him immediately.”

“We would’ve lost the information we got,” I said. “Information with the benefit of an [Analyst], no less. Also, who’s to say that he wouldn’t have detonated it right off the bat?”

Besides, it’s not like every person involved in the Kingsguard is a murderous sociopath like this guy. I kept that thought silent.

“I suppose that’s fair,” Jackson said.

“Jackson Sliprider. Lucas, dungeonbound. Edward Alys. I believe that the following discussion may necessitate a level of security beyond what the interview already mandated.”

“What does that mean, exactly?” I asked.

“A [Geas],” he replied. “Only for the specific purposes of preventing this conversation from leaking to other dungeon delvers and causing general panic.”

I resisted the urge to smile. As if.

Well, he could sure try.

“Sure,” I said. “Go ahead.”

He manipulated mana, repeating some legalese that I didn’t really care to hear.

[Special skill [Divine Healer] prevented you from suffering a negative mental effect.]

Yeah, no thanks. I was fine with being hush-hush about this, but there was no way in hell I was going to let someone else fiddle with my brain. I’d been absolutely thrilled to learn that [Divine Healer] blocked it—maybe for the same reason that it dulled my pain receptors?

Whatever the case, it didn’t notify the [Analyst], who seemed pretty satisfied with his work.

“We should move on the Kingsguard immediately,” Jackson said. “We’ve lost enough people to them, and from the looks of it, they’re just going to keep trying to take more.”

“That we have,” Ed said. “Poor Francis…”

“The two of you have been employed by the Alder Corporation for a sufficient period of time to understand the workings of war,” Salman said, shaking his head. “You know just as well as I do. War cannot occur in the kingdom. If we are not at peace, the people are not at peace, and that means inconveniences, issues, riots, disorder.”

“We need to do something,” the [Shieldbearer] asserted, setting his shield in the ground. “I refuse to let this go unpunished.”

“I never claimed that we would do nothing,” Salman said. “While the kingdom may never know war, quiet conflicts are an old friend of the Alder Corporation.”

“You mean…” Ed trailed off.

“Yes. Iris’ investments are ripe. Our army is waiting for us. All we need to do is assemble it.”

Well, that certainly was something, wasn’t it?

“That’s good and all,” I said. “But why involve me in this conversation?”

“I gather more information than any of you think I do,” the [Analyst] said, affixing me with a stare that made my skin crawl. “Part of that is information that this dungeon—the unnamed Ketz dungeon, for the [Record]—will be a critical part of the Kingsguard’s movement into our kingdom, as will the three adventurers associated with its first discovery. Further conversation will be conducted at the Ketz offices.”

That was it? Seriously? I guess he wanted to avoid giving me too much information, but…

Oh well. I could see if Rose could get it to me later.

“One last thing,” he said, mana no longer infusing his words. “Both of you, out. Return to the offices and get yourself healed.”

“Yes sir,” the [Shieldbearer] said, giving him a salute and wincing as he turned away. “Thanks again, Lucas.”

“Ever need a favor, send someone to the Ketz office,” Ed said, clapping me on the back. “We’ll be there for you.”

I nodded. “Thank you for your assistance.”

The two of them took their leave, but Salman didn’t say a single word even after they’d left the room.

“This is going to be brief,” the [Analyst] finally said once both of them had completely left the dungeon. “I know you’re hiding things.”

“I hope that’s not all you have to say.”

“As an [Analyst] that reports to an official kingdom agency and the kingdom’s largest corporation, I’m obligated to report what I learn,” he stated. “As a father with a child your age… I feel that same obligation to inform you that I am aware that your connection to this dungeon is deeper than you claim it is.”

“I can communicate with it,” I said. “Is there an issue?”

He winced. “Please stop speaking about it. I can suppress parts of my spells, but I can’t stop my instincts. I know you’re lying, and I have to report that. I am aware that this may endanger you, which is why I’ve avoided asking questions in that vein.”

That was… not good, right? I didn’t actually know how much information he had, but any of that getting to Iris might mean that she took a different position on our negotiations. More importantly, if he shared it with the Guild and the corporation and there was even a single information leak, the Kingsguard would know.

“Thanks for telling me,” I said, meaning it. “Please try to keep it as quiet as you can.”

“I will do what I can. Thank you for saving my life.”

He didn’t stretch his greetings or goodbyes, huh. Just like that, he was walking away.

Alright. There was… nothing I could really do about that.

There was one actionable item I’d gotten from this conversation, though.

The Kingsguard were going to be attacking me more. For some reason, they were incredibly focused on me and Minus One.

In order for us to survive, I’d need to grow as a dungeon and they’d need to grow as adventurers. I’d made my dungeon reasonably easy so far, enough that I could guide people through it, and I needed to switch things up.

To beat people who fought dirty, I would have to do it myself. I’d have to teach others how to fight dirty.

I smiled despite myself.

The Alder Corporation was assembling their army. The Kingsguard was probably putting together their next strike team.

All I had to do was outdo them.