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Bonus Comic: Marigold Fanfic Extravaganza (Patreon)

Published:
2020-02-04 21:10:48
Imported:
2022-01

Content

I have been arrested by the Writing Police

Files

Comments

Anonymous

I literally died reading the last line...

Anonymous

oh my god

Stephen Wells

Apparently the true penis was within you all along?

Anonymous

MY MOST POWERFUL JUTSU

Anthony Gaglianese

I voted for this and fully expected an absolute train wreck. I was not disappointed.

Nicholas Lopez

This is the best worst fanfic ever.

Anonymous

Yes officer, that writer right there.

BioYuGi

I knew this decision to vote for this would end badly

Anonymous

Momo is a perv. But like, in a sad way.

Anonymous

Jeph, noooo!!!! Jeph, whyyyy????

Erinnyes

Still a better love story than Twilight.

Anonymous

Thanks I hate it 🤣

Anonymous

I cant read this. I read a line and then another and I'm laughing too hard to continue.

David Liao

Omg was this dick up my butt this whole time?!

Matt

So...what program is that being written in?

Tinwhisker

I'm guessing it took longer to write that... whatever it is than it took to draw and color the comic. That is impressively terrible.

Grace Kieser

The moment Jeph was simultaneously proud and ashamed of his writing

Anonymous

Not my proudest fap

Anonymous

🤦‍♂️👍

Justin Cox

I mean, I've probably written worse. What I want to know is what application is she using.

Anonymous

This is the greatest thing I've ever read. 12/10 would read 50k more words in a heartbeat.

Bonnie Fiddis

You should collab with David “Porn lord” Willis on his next slipshine

Anonymous

I have not a single regret having wanted this to be the winner. Zero. Zeeeeeeero. Narutos mastery of butt-stuff no jutsu, is almost as powerful as his talk-no jutsu

Douglas E. Smith

I love Marigold. At least she has one dedicated fan of her slashfic.

Starlight

Woo, XKCD shirt!

Ted Van Roekel

Poor Momo. Dale's probably getting kind of warm on that side.

Anonymous

Like...uh...what program is she using to write in? My shit needs that level of organization instead of the nine Google Drive folders I'm using.

Anonymous

I can see why you were arrested... ;) Lovely fan fic.

Haldon Lindstrom

I hate to admit it, but this is probably better than 50% of the actual erotic fanfics out there

Anonymous

😂😂🤣

Anonymous

That's so bad, it loops all the way around and shoots past good without blinking all the way back to bad again and then just keeps spinning around like that until you're dizzy and probably barf a little bit.

Anonymous

Scrivener! nice.

Kenneth Carlile

This NEEDS to be nominated for that writing award for the worst sex story.

Anonymous

The program is Scrivener and it is good

Anonymous

Good thing this is a bonus comic or Google's censoring filter would have a field day.

Anonymous

I almost feel sorry that you actually had to type that up. Almost

Matthew Harris

I also dislike the feel of underwear on my wiener and balls and butt

Anonymous

I've never felt better about being a QC patron.

Anonymous

We voted for this, we are all culpable.

Anonymous

Hahahahahahahahaha OMG I wasn't expecting that ending. I almost spilled my coffee! Give this man an Hugo!!!!

Anonymous

this is what i voted for. i don't know what else i expected.

Mike de Jong

The Dattebayo really ties the room together

Anonymous

I voted for pintsize and the possum. Just sayin.

Anonymous

I cannot stop laughing. Like, I think I'm done and then I just start giggling again. 💀

Anonymous

I chortled heartily then tried to explain to my wife what I was laughing at. She gave me the "I'm humouring you" smile.

Gary Walker

"My dick has been in your butt this whole time." is a line FOR THE AGES.

Anonymous

"I never thought Marigold would write THIS erotic fanfic!" cries patron who voted for the "Marigold writing erotic fanfic" party.

Anonymous

this reminds me of that one fanfic drinking game I can't remember what it was called but it was SOOO horrible. Does anyone know what im talking about?

Populuxe

Harry and Naruto proving love is real for all space buckaroos regardless of IP.

Ami

MORE. MORE OF THIS!

Anonymous

HFS! (applauds) (pats self on back for voting for this)

Anonymous

*It just had* to be scrivener, didn’t it?!

Gary Walker

Make it hornier

Everett Bradshaw

I voted for this. I REGRET NOTHING!

Anonymous

Dattebayo

JPMK! {verb}

I have regrets. And hindsight is a bitch 🤣

Anonymous

Honestly squall/kylo is a pretty believable pairing

Anonymous

Not what I was expecting but definitely what I deserved when I voted for this!

Brent

I'd say more like it's aggressively erotic

Anonymous

Yep. There’s no putting this one back. It’s in my head now. Oh god why did I vote for this.

Anonymous

So, the question is, did Jeph have to _work_ at it, or is this how good his fanfic is normally? ;-)

William Cole

Marigold’s writing is improving!

Anonymous

Oh thank goodness, I thought I was the only one blocking incoming laser fire with my penis

Anonymous

I didn't vote for this and I'm dying. If they take you to writing jail for this, I'll bring a horse, a metal file, and some dynamite to bust you you out Jeph.

Celine Chamberlin

I've read a lot of fanfic in my time. This is definitely also some fanfic I have read.

Brad Jones

"Don't blame me, I voted for Bill and Opus...er, Melon and Yay."

MikeT

"No style" formatting seems appropriate

Barry Callahan

I wanted to see Melon Help Yay decorate. That said, I fully expected this to win the vote, and this is very much what I expected we were going to get as a result. Well, Momo's reaction was a bit unexpected.

SpryPunk

Thanks, I hate it *thumbs up* exactly what I voted for

Anonymous

I'm pretty confident I have read this exact story before

Anonymous

I appreciate Harry's honesty.

Nicklaus Gunnflag

I'm honestly disapointed and pointed at the same time.

Patrick McGuire

I'm waiting for a "phweeeeee!" from Momo, only then will it be truly, intensely, aggressively erotic as she vents coolant onto Marigold and Dale.

Summer Sudbrink

Feeling better about my possum vote.

Anonymous

Dunno about you winning a Hugo, Jeph, but I think you're a lock for the Huge-o (that's the award for scifi porn).

Ray Cornwall

James Brown was working on a song called “Make it Hornier” when he died.

Hugh Eckert
>>32091066

It'll be just like a teakettle coming to a boil: first cavitation, then silence, the PHWEEEEE!

Anonymous

Possum it should have been.

Anonymous

I think I voted for this. I have only myself to blame. (Myself, and others like me, it would seem)

Waffles the Mooose

Well I knew what I was voting for when I voted for it. ...and now of COURSE Marigold needs to write that Squall/Kylo Ren chapter.

Thomas Halpin

Do you have ANY idea how hard it is to stop myself from laughing out loud while reading this? My customers will ask me to explain, and I can't.

Wolfger
>>32091954

I blame you, too. This was predictable. Actually, this was better than I thought it would be, but only slightly.

Digi

Woof! Worked for me! I now have some wonderful images in my head :)

Peter Jensen

Not far off from what I expected, and it made me laugh enough that I may have hurt something. Oh, and in case people still hunger for more fanfic by Marigold, there's this from a while back: https://questionablecontent.net/spacewizards.html

Anonymous

Honestly I'd read more of Marigolds fanfic. Especially with phrases like "big cool dick"

Anonymous

It must have hurt to write at that level, you have my sympathies Jeph ( don't let Marigold hear this)

Anonymous

Can't say we didn't know what we were getting into, voting for that...

Bacon Lord

All these wizards and ninjas with their hot gay sex. It's a magical world.

Thisguy

Damn it. I WANT MELON!

Anonymous

Is there a noble prize for writing?

Lightsabr2

I only voted for this because we haven't seen Marigold in a while. Guess I've learned my lesson.

gatherer818

Ok, so, when I voted, I forgot that Marigold wrote terrible fanfic. I also didn't think we'd actually get to read the whole thing. I'm not saying I'd have voted differently, mind, just that I didn't realize what I was doing...

Nulgar

...or block incoming laser fire.

Anonymous

omfg this is fantastic lmao

GeckoQween

What program is this written in?

Czarzhan

That was... painful. But, apparently, right up Momo's alley.

Czarzhan
>>32095133

OH GOD I CAN'T BELIEVE I LET MYSELF HIT 'ENTER' ON THAT COMMENT.

Uniquitous

Aw yeah, giving the people what they want!

Dave

Thank you for your service.

Shawn K. Younkin

I can't wait for JK Rowling, Disney, and Viz Media to sue Jeph... cause that will be intensely erotic!!! XD XD

Ilana Sprongl

OMG. Didn’t expect that. LOL

Todd Ellner
>>32090044

But just imagine if it had been Marigold's Pintsize and the Possum erotic fanfic Imagine .....

Anonymous

Truthfully, I do not have high hopes for Marigold as a fiction writer. That was.... Christ, that was bad. Probably E tier, if you put a gun to my head and forced me to rate it. And, for me, anything below C tier is unreadable. If Momo can like that, then good GOD, she better not read the things I've written.

Anonymous

Why do I feel like Jeph searched out the worst fanfiction on fanfiction.net, and if so I fear for the security of his computer.

jimbo

well damn. Jeph breaking new boundaries!!

Am Queue

... I spent too many years volunteering on an erotica website to be able to read that without my head pulling down into my body like a turtle. It's completely in character and I'm fleeing out the door to go find my backups of my own writing to prove to myself that I *did* write better....

Robert

Wow, that takes me back to the years I hung out with a bunch of Age-of-Sail slashficcers. Although they were much better writers. Lots of Jack/Horatio.

Ryan

I can hear the Hugo committee knocking.

Dean Reilly

I wonder, did Jeph have this one ready to go even before he posted the bonus strip survey?

Joe
>>32098616

no idea if it'll get him a Hugo, but it could get him pounded in the ... nevermind.

Eric Lusby

You've captured the voice of the slash fic writer who knows nothing about the art of writing very well here. A little TOO well.

Dylan T

Why have you done this to my eyeballs

Mitchell Sealy

Any way to increase the fond size on this image? Having trouble reading the fanfic.

Allan Widner

That was every bit as horrific and mind-scarring as I had hoped. BRB, fetching brain-bleach and watching the world burn...

Borg Lord

I wish I were a wizard so I could make my genitalia block incoming laser fire.

Spoogle McGee

If you put that on Wikipedia it would catch fire.

Anonymous

Now reread that as though Stephen Fry was narrating it.

Anonymous

WHAT IS SEEN CANNOT BE UNSEEN :)

Marc Kevin Hall

This is the high water mark of your career, Jeph. I cannot imagine how it will ever be surpassed.

BobC

Hugo play with yourself. K?

Anonymous

I was going to skim but then after seeing Kylo Ren I went back and read the whole thing. I feel like I just got rickrolled and it was hilarious.

William Cole

Oh god, I just re-read it and was laughing twice as hard as the first time. A thing of beauty.

Shane Wegner

Well, I voted for this so I really have no one to blame but myself. ALSO WHY DO YOU LIKE THIS MOMO.

Anonymous

Honestly, it's been a while since I laughed this hard.

Anonymous

Well. We got what we deserved.

Sorastro

Wait... it's been in there the whole time?!?!?!

Anonymous

Honestly I love this SO much

Bagge

INTENSELY EROTIC

Anonymous

Eisner Award Winning Cartoonist Jeph Jacques..

J.M. Hall

Hahahahahahaaaaaa

Anonymous

Well at least she used proper writing software.

Mark

Not quite the masterpiece that was Hermione and Ginny Versus The Space Wizards, but the last panel was hilarious :D https://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=1793 https://www.questionablecontent.net//spacewizards.html

Mark
>>32103000

Because, at least according to May, she's a horny little weirdo- https://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=4034

Mark
>>32099608

He's done it before, at greater length, and managed to make it kind of sweet even though hilariously bad- https://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=1793 https://www.questionablecontent.net//spacewizards.html

Mark
>>32098964

Probably. To quote him on the only other piece of Marigold's fic that he's released into the wild (yep, just checked, it's the only thing on MarBear's Tumblr account) "I had so much fun writing it, _you have no idea_." https://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=1793

Anonymous

Damn it. I wasn't expecting this when i've voted. BUT DAMN ME, I WANT TO KNOW MORE.

Anonymous

I voted for this, and I'm still not sure I want to read it...

Anonymous

Bahahahahahahaha! Reading this on the bus made it that much better, as well. Obviously we can all agree that “big cool dick” is an extremely erotic and that “horny” repeated 17 times in one page can do nothing but make the reader wildly horny. Obviously. 😂

Anonymous

Do the writing police have the authority to enforce capital punishment? Oof. I love Marigold but..... Oof.

Vik M.

I HATE THIS (i love this)

Livy N

I don't know what I expected 😂😂😂

Anonymous

dear lord.... I can't unread this...

Anonymous

OK - I read this, and then I read the Space Wizards fic (https://www.questionablecontent.net//spacewizards.html). Marigold has gotten So Much Better! I'm so proud of her, growing as a writer!

Anonymous

I am dying, people are looking at me weird and I don't care. I am wheezing 🤣🤣🤣

Anonymous

Can I go back an vote for the Melon and Yay one instead

Anonymous

I need to go and have a lie down after reading that.

Anonymous

I voted for this, and I have no regrets. On a scale of 1-10, how masochistic am I?

Anonymous

oh my god the dattebayo killed me

Anonymous
>>32126350

Oh man! It's been AGES!! 🤣 "She searched inside herself and went deep down beneath all her genius knowledge and smart facts and she saw deep inside that she had always loved Ginny too and really really wanted to take off her space underwear." The glory is real.

Anonymous

I don't know why I was expecting this to be a comic played out in Marigold's mind with people she knows as Harry and Naruto(I fuckin' hate naruto tho) while she watched. But I'm also not disappointed either, seeing Momo worked up is always a treat.

Anonymous
>>32126350

I never saw that before and it's absolutely incredible. Thank you for sharing.

Anonymous

hahaha! Literary genius. ;P

Katherine Prewitt

I am thinking that the last panel being the last is very convenient for Dale, who never has to finish his sentence.