Despair (story) (Patreon)

Ellie, a Latina woman with a strange condition that makes her eyes red, mushroom hairstyle, black hair, and tanned skin, sits on the edge of a cliff thinking about what she should do with her life. At 22 years old, it seems that she is not successful at anything and, while many people her own age have already been moving forward in life, trading millions of dollars as youtubers, streamers, selling content on Fiverr or as speculators of bitcoin and NFT’s. She does not understand what she has done wrong in life as she sees how many people her age or even younger than her make great fortunes and make great plans in life while she is there, trying all kinds of activities to try to reach the Place she envies while living in a trailer that his grandfather inherited parked in a supermarket parking lot. Although she has a striking appearance, it is not within her reach to even create an onlyfans account since she has very poor quality internet. It seems that this land of opportunities in which everyone since she remembers proclaims that she was born, has turned his back on her without leaving her with many possibilities in life. At that moment Ellie contemplates how much is her life worth as she looks to the bottom of a deep cliff wondering if she should jump or not. In any case, Ellie, without having a living family after the death of her grandfather, is sure that most likely no one will miss her. So what does she have left in her life? Maybe she  should take a leap of faith?

On the other hand, Ellie, who is not necessarily stupid, knows well that she has also been very lazy and  in those years in which she may have had to put more care in her life to achieve a better future. Ellie wonders if maybe she had to go into debt to get into a prestigious university or, maybe, start to undertake some digital or social network project when she was still a teenager like many of her friends or acquaintances of hers at the time. Ellie thinks that perhaps she had opportunities in life that she could not perceive before because at that time her mind was immersed in the dense distractions and pleasures of life, looking for great adventures and lost paradises traveling on a low budget throughout the country as a sixties hippie but in the 21st century. However, Ellie, thinking about whether she is the only one to blame for being unemployed for several months and being a failure in life, comes to the conclusion that, whatever it may be and regardless of whether she is responsible for her life. Miserable or not, of all her life is something that certainly has no remedy and, perhaps, she should take one last leap and transcend. Then Ellie stands up and looks into the infinity of her emptied eyes once more.

However, just before she takes the step, she suddenly feels the warm touch in her hand. Apparently there is someone who would miss her if she disappeared, Ellie thinks, while she turns to see who has stopped her new and last trip. It turns out to be Stephen, an old friend of hers with whom she occasionally drinks. Of all the people that Ellie hoped would come to rescue her from the abyss of her in her fantasies, perhaps Stephen is the last person she thought capable of caring for her, since until now he only seemed like a friend on a spree and nothing more of her. It is true that Ellie and Spehen have known each other since they were children, but until now that fact had not determined anything significant in their lives. On the other hand, fortunately for Stephen, who was just passing by while walking his dog looking for a good place for his dog to defecate, it seems that fate and chance have determined that after going to that hill looking for copper, he has found gold. Stephen seeing Ellie on the tip of a cliff in a position in which she seems convinced to jump, it seems that then Ellie, no longer valuing her human life, is the perfect test subject for the darkest experiments her.

Stephen graduated from chemical engineering a few years ago after finishing college earlier than his classmates by being a few years ahead of his great intellect, and recently began working at a secret government chemical plant as a scientist in charge a plant that generates an interesting fuchsia substance and some green pills, among other things. Precisely a few hours ago he finished his shift after introducing the new security employee to her new position, even though that day he has to rest so luckily for him he will not have to return to work all weekend.  However, Stephen's life is unknown to practically all his friends, and, beyond being a partying friend who loves the excesses and pleasures of life, no one imagines what Stephen really is or does in private, and between Those people who ignore the reality about Stephen is Ellie.

Without hesitation, Stephen talks to Ellie, telling her that she may be too hasty to make the decision she was about to make. Then Stephen begins to design and explain something that seems like a utopia to Ellie, a world where it is not necessary to work, toil, and in which she cannot be sad or depressed, a world where it seems that she can be truly free in the deep abyss of pleasure and that all she has to do to be able to enter that new world that opens up in front of her, while the sun rises over the horizon and begins to illuminate her face, is to be beautiful and let everyone else do everything for her. she, even, move her, take her everywhere, feed her, etc., as if she were herself a queen or a deity, without having to worry about such insignificant things as combing her hair or even dressing. Then she Ellie told Stephen that she will do whatever it takes to get to that paradise on earth, so Stephen took her to her house to start the experimental procedure.
[drawing 1]

For Ellie, after entering Stephen's house, and after ingesting a strange fuchsia-colored smoothie, everything became very confusing for her. She suddenly found herself in an infinite black abyss while she smelled colors, tasted sounds and saw letters floating in that place like ghosts. It seems that Ellie little by little loses any distinction of time and, at the same time, feels a strong impulse and pleasure to appear beautiful, to be treasured and, above all, not to move, not speak and not think, because it is not good to think, According to the teachings that turn over and over within Ellie's mind, thinking only means pain, it sows doubts and produces sadness and is very tiring. Thinking has not served Ellie for so many years no matter what she tries or how she tries to solve her life, so thinking now is useless to Ellie. Work, suffer, all of this for Ellie is now so distant, she should only be cute, look cute, dress cute, smile, not think and remain motionless, frozen in time, in suspended animation, eternally beautiful, as if she had been paused like In a video game or in a movie, because moving is bad, it is tiring, it is not good, perfection happens by not moving, it is the work of others to move Ellie while she only poses beautiful, unconscious, totally unaware of her existence and thereby unaware of any problem. While Ellie discovers that great truth and reality for her, her body hangs loosely, while each of the members of their bodies is held by a ribbon that comes from the ceiling, without touching the ground, moving slightly from one side to the other like a object tied to a string, such as a pendulum. She's just there, motionless, pretty, with a limp body, mindless, smiling, wearing latex lingerie, like a doll, because that's what she is, the pinnacle of perfection.

[Drawing 2]

Suddenly, or perhaps some time later, since Ellie has totally lost her perception of time, blinding headlights are pointed at her face. She suddenly sees a huge crowd throwing roses at her and cheering Ellie up. Could it be that, suddenly, Ellie has achieved the success that she so much wanted after simply letting go of her humanity? Perhaps it would matter a little more if Ellie were a little more conscious, although it is not the case, as she is just drooling and dizzy from the blinding lights and the noise of the applause as her body plunges more and more into a deep ecstasy and pleasure. as they move her limp body with the strings.

[Drawing 3]

Stephen has come to see the success of her experiment with those substances with which he had never had contact, even though he understands that they have existed in secret for a while. It has worked so well that no one has thought that Ellie is or was a person, now it is only Ellie the puppet, who has become famous for the quality of her details, competing on the internet with her fame with other realistic puppets that have appeared recently. It is then that Stephen, disinterested in fame, believes that perhaps he already forced Ellie to work hard as a puppet, so perhaps it is good to give her a rest and, above all, a special place, as a reward for her collaboration and... as a trophy of the Stephen's first great successful experiment. Then Stephen, who thinks that perhaps his puppet needs a makeover and life change, decides to dye her hair blonde and put some extensions on, in addition to dressing her in a maid dress and, finally, pose her and attach the doll to a stand for figures, which will be her new home. Even if Stephen would prefer to put his trophy in the most colorful place in his living room, it will have to be in the office of his underground bunker under his house, especially since it seems that some riots are beginning to happen in the city, and it would be a Too bad something happened to his prized trophy in a raid on his home.

[Drawing 4]