David, Goliath, and the 200 Cyclops Sleeves (Patreon)

The next part of David’s story is usually quite abbreviated in Sunday School and baby bibles, typically ending with David defeating Goliath by slinging a rock at him. After that, however, David chops Goliath’s head off ISIS-style and parades it around. He doesn’t simply stop with chopping off heads, but moves on to chopping off the foreskins of his appointed enemies, the Philistines. The price of his bride, King Saul’s daughter Michal, was 100 foreskins, even though he already won Saul’s daughter by defeating Goliath. The foreskin price was really nothing more than Saul’s attempt to get David killed in combat, so it was incredibly stupid of Saul to put David in charge of 1000 soldiers, which David then used to procure the foreskins, plus an extra 100 for good measure.

There’s still so much more to this story and I’ve barely scratched the surface with my previous two videos. I think these David episodes will need to be interspersed with animations on other topics, or I’ll end up doing nothing but this story for the rest of the year. I read all of your comments here, so if you have any suggestions or requests, I’ll gladly consider them. Thank you all so much for enabling me to do this.