The Simulacrum - Chapter 124 - Part 1 (Patreon)

"Aaah! I'm burning! I'm gonna die!"

Sighing, I turned to the girl lying on her belly on the bed. She had her head buried into a pillow, and her muffled cries were barely legible under all the muffling and the noise of her feet hammering against the mattress like she was pretending to be swimming.

"The cringe! It burns!"

Oh. And now she started rolling around while firmly holding the pillow against her face. Left and right, left and right.

"Agck!"

Then she almost fell off the bed, only stopped by Josh's last-second save. She stiffened for a moment, but then she rolled onto her stomach again and started kicking once more while making stifled screams.

"Is this normal?" I asked the guy, and he rewarded my genuine question with a thunderous glare.

"Like hell it is normal! Do something!"

Now it was my turn to frown back at him.

"You're her boyfriend, you do something about her."

We stared daggers at each other for a few seconds. However, before we could get anywhere, Angie let out a loud groan and looked up from the pillow. Face red like a lobster and out of breath, she held her head in her hands.

"Why did I say that? I mean, it felt perfectly normal at the time, but who in their right mind yells 'Who do you think you are?' like that!" For some inexplicable reason, she quoted herself with a deeper voice (and a faux-British accent), but as it made her recall the scene, she let out another high-pitched yelp and buried her face into the pillow again.

Personally, I would've been more distressed by the part where she threatened to kill Tsephanyah, but that was just Angie for you, I supposed. In any case, Josh was still glaring at me, as if any of this situation was somehow my fault, so I gave up and plugged a phantom limb into his Magiformer.

"{Tell her that it wasn't that big of a deal, and that there are people out there who find this kind of thing very impressive. The Directorate was in dire need of some dressing down anyway, so tell her she didn't do anything wrong, and then do some mushy lovey-dovey stuff until she calms down.}"

With the message delivered, I turned on my heel and walked out of the Celestial suite's bedroom. My friend was so startled by my communique that he only registered my intent to leave when I was already at the door.

"Hey! Where are you going?"

"I have stuff to do. Do your part, and I'll call you when the lunch is here."

"Lunch?" Angie raised her head from the pillow again, and when our eyes met, I nodded… and then closed the door behind me.

With heavy steps, I walked over to the sofa in the living room and sat down. Angie was proving to be a handful, though thankfully she didn't start throwing a tantrum until we returned to my quarters. Luckily, I had Josh around to deal with that, so I could focus on more important topics.

There were a lot of unforeseen developments in quick succession, so let's start with a summary. First, there seemed to be some kind of 'sliding scale' between Angie and Deus, and using her powers was tripping the balance towards the latter. Josh using his Celestial powers did the same, and worse yet, the two of them were creating something of a feedback loop between the two of them. In conclusion, I had to figure out a way to help them suppress that, either through discipline or more active means.

Next, Angie single-handedly diverted the flow of the plot into a completely different direction than expected. While I had a feeling the Directorate wouldn't take it lying down, things were already in motion, and barring another massive shift in the situation, I imagined we would be back on Critias much sooner than I would've ever thought.

There were a lot of logistical points I had to figure out regarding that though. For a start, I will have to explain everything to the Draconic Federation and the Assembly ambassadors. On the Celestial side, if we returned to the island, we couldn't avoid revealing a few things, such as Josh's identity. We couldn't have him running around in his disguise all the time, after all… and on second thought, the same applied to Mountain Girl as well.

Groaning, I threw my head back and tried to come up with a sensible explanation that would satisfy both the Draconian elders, the Magi, and the Celestial bigwigs, but I was drawing a blank. If all else failed, I figured Refuge in Audacity would save the day, as usual, but I couldn't rely on that all the time. The last time I did that to resolve a multi-front situation, I ended up with Bel, and we all know how that turned out in the long run…

Then, if all of that wasn't annoying enough already, I also had to consider the Doylist perspective on top of that. For example, Angie's reasons for wanting to return to Critias were refreshingly sensible, but it didn't mean they weren't narratively influenced. In that case, did our nebulous Narrative want us back on the island, and if it did, was it the original plot all along, or yet another last-minute course correction because I broke something somewhere else? If only the corner of my mind that had some insight into the Narrative's plot devices wasn't a bloody bastard and shared some of that intel, am I right?

I also had to consider what to do with the whole Deus situation. The optimist in me said that, considering all the tonal- and genre-indicators we had documented so far, there was no way the Simulacrum would end on a downer note, so it was guaranteed that there was some kind of nice and very convenient way for Josh to resolve the whole inner-Deus dilemma on his own, without my interference. In contrast, my inner pragmatist argued that it wasn't exactly a foolproof theory, and that I should consider separating them for the time being, because that whole Deus-feedback-loop thing could bite us in the arse later. And then there was my inner pessimist, which did its best nocturnal-echo-locating-mammal-man impression as it stepped out of the dark recesses of my mind and said: Contingency plans. Get on with it.

Well, I couldn't argue with that. The adage 'Hope for the best, prepare for the worst' hasn't betrayed me so far, so I was going to trust it once again.

The first step was to figure out the situation in the Elysium, so I did a quick Far Sight round check on my marks. My first stop was at the chief directors', and I found all of them in the Directorate's shady boardroom. They were in the middle of a big emergency meeting, mostly concerning Angie, and while that should've been insightful on paper, I gave up and moved on about five minutes later. To put it bluntly, I'd already seen this exact same meeting about half a dozen times. Replace any instance of 'Deus' with 'Polemos', and I could even go as far as to say I'd heard it all word for word as well.

The only semi-interesting detail was the condition of the three faction leaders. Tsephanyah was none the worse for wear after his recent rebuke by Angie, but remained completely silent, and only listened to the proceedings. Mensah was much more active, but only as far as supporting certain other directors was concerned, as he added little to the conversation. To be fair, he looked like he just came out of a full washing cycle on the 'intense' setting, and between his pale skin and black eyes, I was surprised he was even coherent. As for Savir, she was sleeping. With her eyes open. Or at least that was the most reasonable explanation I could think of, considering she was completely motionless and staring at the documents in front of her without blinking.

All in all, there was nothing much to see there, so I checked out a few of my other marks, and only lingered a bit longer at the ground floor barracks and the Praetorian Guards. I didn't learn anything strictly new there though, so I soon moved on to check on Rinne. As demanded by the universal rules of timing, I found her just arriving in front of the entrance of my quarters, in the company of Jaakobah, and the quiet hiss of the door opening signalled the end of this Far Glancing session.

"Lord Archon?"

Standing up, I gave a nod to the phlegmatic agent entering the room. Mountain Girl remained silent, as usual, and made her way over to my side without any reservations. In the meantime, Jaakobah glanced around and raised a curious brow.

"She was tired, so they are resting in the bedroom," I answered his implicit question, and he let his brow.

"Your orders?"

"Re-establish the lockdown of the floor. This time, do it properly. On the inside and the outside as well." Pausing, I tapped on the pommel of Teeny hanging on my side, feeling that I was forgetting something. It took me a few long seconds, but I figured it out. "Yes, I just remembered. Go down to the kitchens, and tell the staff to make today's lunch hearty. With ample desserts. Also, make sure none of them tampers with the food."

"No one would dare." He must have been responding on reflex, because his face clouded over the moment he gave some thought to my request, no doubt recalling the last incident. "As you command."

After he left, I let out a long breath. I wasn't the only one who relaxed a bit though, as Rinne immediately removed her helmet and said, "Jaakobah-san is a good soldier. He obeys his superiors, and doesn't ask questions."

"I'm not entirely sure I agree with your idea of a 'good soldier', but let's not get bogged down in that conversation."

I gestured for her to follow after me, and we headed over to the bedroom.

"Did something happen to make Angie-chan tired?"

"Nothing major. Her inner Deus acted up, made Tsephanyah soil his pants, and then she was hit by a wave of self-awareness."

"Rinne isn't sure Rinne understood that. What is a 'wave of self-awareness'?"

"… Right. You're the type who never had to deal with anything like that, aren't you?" She tilted her head to the side, half in curiosity and half in confusion, so I waved my hand to move the conversation along. "Don't mind any of that, it would take too long to explain. The important part is that nothing major happened, and by now…" Opening the door, I glanced inside and nodded with satisfaction. "Yup. Cuddling. As expected."

"Oh, come on, man," Josh grumbled, sitting on the edge of the bed with Angie sitting on his lap. "Haven't you ever heard of privacy?"

"I can't say I'm familiar with the concept," I jested and walked over. "Are you feeling better?"

"A little," Angie answered with a slight pout and rested her head on Josh's shoulder.

"Glad to head that." I smiled for punctuation and then went back to a neutral expression right away. "Listen up, guys. I have to leave to make some arrangements. Until I come back, stay put, don't open the door to strangers, and don't do anything Judy would disapprove of." Angie giggled, while Josh only rolled his eyes. Once I was sure that sunk in, I continued with, "If you're thirsty, we have some soda in Rinne's cooler. I should be back before lunch, but if I'm late, you can start without me. As for you…"

"Maintain security, don't let anyone in, and keep Joshua-kun and Angie-chan safe," Mountain Girl rattled off without waiting for me to finish the sentence, and I nodded in confirmation.

"Precisely. I'll be back soon."

With those parting words, I locked onto one of my marks and reappeared inside the underground base's teleport closet. The reception area was empty, but once I entered the main hall, there was a bit of commotion once the Fauns noticed me.

"[Thou art early, Blackloak,]" Brang addressed me once I made my way over to the armoury. He was wearing his usual blacksmith's leather apron and, based on the tools around in his hands, he was doing maintenance on his spear.

"[The twists and turns of the state of affairs are on the course of rising in byzantine intricacy yet again. Where may I procure my electronic message pigeon?]"

The old Faun let out a soft grunt and put his tools down. He leisurely walked over to one of the worn green cabinets in the back and pulled out a drawer.

"[At thy disposal, Backcloak.]"

He handed the phone over with a toothy smile, and I turned it on right away. Since I couldn't use it in the Elysium, and I kept misplacing it whenever I was switching between my outfits, I left it in the ex-general's care. It's been a while since I last used it, but the battery was still at over forty percent. Good enough.

"[My gratitude is immeasurable,]" I mumbled under my breath, and once the operating system booted, I waved my goodbyes and started walking. A few pokes later, I could already hear the dial tone, and it only took a few seconds for Judy to pick up on the other end. "Hi, Dormouse."

"Hi, Chief. Why did you call?"

"… I presume you wanted to ask 'Why did you use the phone instead of visiting in person?', right?"

"Yes. I'm just grumpy, because you woke me up."

That made my feet stop for a moment.

"It's almost eleven in the morning."

"It's the weekend. Also, we stayed up late last light," she told me in a deadpan voice, followed by a noise I presumed was a stifled yawn. "Theorycrafting."

"Keep it in moderation. As for the initial question, I'm multitasking, because we have some new developments. By the looks of it, we'll be coming back to Timaeus soon."

"Really?"

That question came from the princess. By the sound of it, she was listening in.

"Yeah. Angie pulled the Deus card and told the Reformers she wants to come home to study economics and statecraft."

"That doesn't sound like Angeline at all," Judy noted dispassionately.

"It made sense in context. I'll tell you the details later. Can I ask you to lay the groundwork with Dad-in-law and Naoren?"

"Sure! When are you coming home?"

That was Elly, once again, and while I would've loved to give her a clear answer, I had none.

"Not entirely sure. In a few days, at most. We still have some unfinished business in the Elysium, and the logistics of our friendly neighbourhood messianic archetype going to school with us is already giving me headaches, but we'll figure something out."

"Noted. Where are you right now?"

"In the base, I need to talk to Fred, and then find Peabody, and…" Just as I said that, I arrived at the main workshops, and let out a pleasantly surprised hum. "Scratch that last one. Anyhow, I'll visit you guys later."

"Wait! Don't do that!" Elly cut in, much to my surprise.

"Why?"

"Because if you're going to be back properly soon, then if we don't see each other for a while, we can have one of those big, emotional reunions in front of everyone!"

"It is a classic trope…" Judy mused, sounding like she was seriously considering the idea.

"How about we discuss this later? I'm already at my destination."

"Okay. We'll make the plans," my dear assistant told me, apparently settling on supporting Elly's idea. "Love you."

"I love you two. Kisses."

I could hear a smacking noise on the other side, which was most likely coming from the princess, and after a chuckle, I cut the line and turned to the people in front of me.

Inside the main workshop, surrounded by all kinds of machinery ranging from pulp-science beep-boxes to sleek modern equipment reminiscent of hospital ultrasound machines, Galatea, Fred, the man with the plague-doctor mask, and Peabody were seated around a table on stools, boxes, and other jury-rigged sitting implements. They patiently waited for me to finish my call, and only when I pocketed my phone did Friedrich let out a low chuckle.

"Kihihi. Hello, boss. We weren't expecting you."

"O-ho-ho! That is an understatement!" the portly nurse noted and used a napkin to wipe his forehead. By the looks of it, they were having an early lunch break, with a couple of open pizza boxes on the table between them. He looked me over from head to toe, and let out a shallow sigh. "I missed your last appearance, but to think you could truly return from the Celestials' realm whenever you wished! How truly remarkable!"

Now as I thought about it, I hadn't seen the old nurse in quite a while. While he was ostensibly working for me now, he still had his day job at the school, and unlike Fred and the rest of the Research Society members, he wasn't living in the base, so whenever I showed up for my daily check-ups during the night, he was back in his home and sleeping.

"It's been a while, hasn't it?" After those meaningless words, I levelled my gaze on Fred and Mr. Plague Doctor. "It's lucky that all of you are here. I have a job for you."

"Both of us?" the faceless researcher asked back, sounding rather excited by the prospect.

"All of you," I emphasized, and gave them a quick rundown of the situation, starting from how Angie had Deus's soul entangled with her own… or how her soul was built upon his reincarnated one. I still wasn't entirely sure, because I couldn't safely mess around her yarn ball, but figuring out these kinds of things was why I kept these guys around. Once I reached the end of my description, I capped it off with, "I don't want to wait until we're officially back, so prep the equipment. I'll bring her over tonight."

"Kihihi! Got it, boss!"

"A new research subject! How marvelous!"

The two mad scientists literally rubbed their hands in anticipation, all the while Peabody was getting visibly flustered.

"O-ho-ho? I presume you have a task for me too?"

"Yes, I do."

"I'm afraid I know little when it comes to souls, but I would be honored to help."

"Ah, no. I have something else in mind for you," I cut in before he would get the wrong idea. "I need you to make an empty homunculus body."

"Empty?" he echoed me, looking surprised by my request.

"Yeah. Without a soul. And I mean that literally, not in terms of the Assembly's classification system. Make it a male adult. If a child is done faster, we can work with that too, but an adult body would be preferable." Pausing, I snapped my finger in realization and added, "Also, call Saahira. Tell her that I'm calling in a favour, and I need her to build another of soul-scaffolding."

"Wait, Leonard! Please, wait!" Peabody raised his voice and got onto his feet before grabbing another napkin and wiping his forehead again. "You need a homunculus right now?"

"Not this instant, but as soon as possible. Based on how things are proceeding, I think I can give you two weeks at most."

"I… I can't do that, I'm afraid," he told me with a solemn expression. "We just finished setting up my workshop, I don't have any of the necessary materials, and most importantly, all my old research notes and records that were kept in the Timaeus School of Conjuration and Alteration were lost."

"Research notes," I repeated after him, and he nodded.

"Yes. I handed them over to Amadeus for safekeeping, but they were misplaced, along with his own research on homunculi."

"Oh? Oooh! I knew that it was going to be useful one of these days!" I exclaimed as a realization dawned on me, and I turned to the hitherto silent android. "Galatea?"

"Yes, Grandmaster?"

"Would you please get me a box? It's in the back of the third storeroom, under some tarp. It's full of papers and other doodads. If you can't find it right away, ask Pudding-kun. He's disguised as a chair, and he should point you in the right direction."

She stared at me, and then at the pizza on the table.

"It's going to get cold."

"Oh, don't be a kid," I grumbled and shooed her away. "I'll have the ninjas get you another one."

"With stuffed crust?"

"With stuffed crust."

"And extra toppings?"

"Within reason."

"Can I get two?"

"Don't stretch it."

She clicked her tongue and walked out of the workshop. Mr. Plague Doctor whistled, as if getting her to move was some kind of achievement, while Peabody wrung his hands.

"O-ho-ho? Is that what I think it is?"

"Most likely."

"But how did it end up in a storeroom here?"

I shrugged.

"It's a long story. Anyhow, if you have all that, can you make me a spare body post-haste?"

"I think if we use the right cell strain, and with the support of Friedrich and Saahira—"

"This is a priority project, so you can have the support of the whole research division."

My answer should've been reassuring, yet it only made him more worried.

"But Leonard… Why do you need a homunculus?"

That wasn't an unreasonable question, but I wasn't quite ready to reveal my cards yet. Since a plan was exponentially more likely to succeed the more well it was hidden, it was in my best interest to keep things vague. As such, I just smiled mysteriously and uttered, "Contingency plans."