The Simulacrum - Volume 6 Extra 1: Meet the Assembly's Best and Brightest (Patreon)

What the actual, canonical, Dante Alighieri-inspired hell was up with this island and underground facilities?

Yes, yes, I know I keep ragging on this, but seriously? Why did the arch-mage's home also need to have an extensive underground facility too? Wasn't he satisfied by having the big one under the school building?

…

But then again, I also happened to have two separate underground bases too, so maybe complaining about this any more than this would've been hypocritical. Insert an adage about mineral-slingers and glass infrastructure here.

Anyhow, back to the main topic. Namely, the spot under Lord Grandpa's place. His house was already something of a small mansion, though only about a third of the size of the Dracis estate, and ninety percent of it was just straight up empty, since only he and the class rep lived there. Yet for some unfathomable reason, the Assembly delegation didn't stay in any of the unoccupied rooms, but opted to set up shop in the old man's cellar.

Granted, it was a large basement, and judging by the magical glow infusing the whole place, it was probably well-fortified, but it still irked me that they choose this place as their base of operations instead of… well, anywhere else.

That said, I was oversimplifying things a little. From what I'd gathered, a total of four arch-mages came to the island, all of them holding high positions in the Assembly and specialising in combat magic. With Lord Grandpa and Sahi, that brought the headcount up to six, and while the latter didn't really count, this kind of show of force was apparently unprecedented in the recent history of the Assembly. Or so I've heard from Roland, but then again, I was too busy with my own thing to double-check him, and I had no reason not to accept what he said at face value.

In any case, the gaggle of arch-mages chose Lord Grandpa's cellar to hold their gatherings, as it was considered 'neutral territory' (as opposed to the School, I reckoned), and at the moment, three of them were in there, preparing for a meeting of some sorts.

"Hi, Uncle Barnie!" a certain ex-arch-mage, currently serving as my Far Sight anchor, exclaimed the moment she entered the fancy room.

It had a low ceiling, with one wall entirely covered in old wine barrels serving as decoration, contrasting hard with the fancy wrought iron chandelier hanging dangerously low and the antique hardwood furniture. In particular, there was a black stone-topped coffee table in the middle, sitting on a huge Persian rug and surrounded by dark brown leather-bound camelback sofas.

On those sofas sat three older men, and the one closest to the door, a tall black man with an elegant blue outfit and short grey hair that contrasted with his dark skin, flashed a pearly white smile at the tan girl.

"Sahi! Long time no see!" he greeted her with a rumbling bass, and she let out a strategic giggle before skipping over to his side.

I didn't know much about the man, but from what I gathered, Lord Barnabas was an arch-mage from the west coast of the US, and an old friend of Saahira's. As for the other two…

"You just met her the other day," the long-bearded man sitting on the other sofa scoffed and took a dramatic sip from his coffee cup. He was short, clad in a thick felt suit and about fifty extra kilos of fat, and his only facial feature more prominent than his ferret-like eyes was his receding hairline. I knew even less about this man, other than his name: Lord Ambrose, one of the senior magi of the Assembly and Keeper of one of the three Keys of the Grimoire.

"Leave them be, old man," a jovial voice cut in, causing the bearded man to send a sideways glance at his colleague, currently lounging on the couch right next to him, as if he had not a single care in the world. "Every reunion is a precious one. One would think you'd recognize this at your age."

The senior arch-mage let out a loud 'Bah!' and continued to drink his coffee, much to the third man's apparent amusement. He was a tall and lanky fellow, dressed in a loose black robe that was practically hanging off his bones. He was considerably younger than the other two, with delicate features and unruly red locks crowning his head and a pair of half-lidden green eyes. He had a carefree air around him, but he was also an arch-mage, apparently from Wales, and going by the name Lord Gulliver. Not the most Welsh name I'd ever heard, but at this point I stopped trying to make sense of this world's naming conventions.

"O-ho? Did you grow taller again?" Lord Barnabas jested while making a measuring gesture with his fingers, completely ignoring the other men in the room, and Sahi proudly puffed up her chest.

"I sure did! I drank my milk every night before going to sleep!" she declared, and I couldn't help but notice that she was keeping a tight rein on her usual valley girl accent.

"That's a good girl!" The friendly black guy let out a laugh and tousled her hair. "What brings you to this den of old men at this hour?"

"Speak for yourself," the redhead scoffed with an impish smile. "I consider myself in the prime of my life, thank you very much."

"Don't trust this lout, kid," the rotund guy with the lush beard grumbled and pointed a thumb at the lanky man. "He's older than I am."

"By three months," Lord Gulliver added. "But I'm still young in heart!"

Their words were hard to believe at a glance, considering that Lord Ambrose looked at least thirty years older than the other man, but there was no reason for them to lie either. Maybe it was magic. Or just healthy living. Who knew?

In the meantime, Sahi ignored the squabbling pair and told Lord Barnabas, "I just heard that you were still here, so I thought I would be a good host and entertain you!"

"Oh, right. You do live here, don't you?" the black man mused with a hand on his chin, and shook his head. "To think that Endymonion of all people would be the one to take you under his wings… I can still scarcely believe it."

"It's just how things turned out after grandma died," the brown girl told them with a straight face.

"Ah, yes. It was a tragic turn of events." The redhead man sighed and sat up straight. "Losing Lord Saahira was a great blow to the Assembly."

"And it just had to happen on this blasted island too," Lord Ambrose grumbled as he refilled his cup from the pot in the middle of the table. "I tell you, I don't like this place. So many things happening one after the other, all of it on this one city of this one island is clearly unnatural."

"Here we go with the conspiracies again." Lord Gulliver theatrically rolled his eyes and produced a small book from his robe's pockets, following which she laid down on the sofa, resting his head on the arm and placing the open book on his eyes. "Wake me up once he's done."

"Oh, piss off you absolute dingleberry!" the visually older man fumed and turned back to Lord Barnabas. "I'm telling you, something's fishy here! First, it was a whole bunch of Abyssals sauntering on the island that Endymonion conveniently didn't notice until they did some ritual right on top of the School. Then a Chimera of all things shows up, followed by an arch-mage dying under mysterious circumstances—"

"It wasn't mysterious," Sahi cut in, earning herself a frown. "Grandma had lung cancer."

"Yes, I know," Lord Ambrose grumbled while his hands began to toss one sugar cube after the other into his cup. "I'm talking about the timing here, my girl. The timing!"

"You know, coincidences are a thing," the lanky man noted while peeking out from under his book. "Maybe you're getting paranoid with old age?"

"Shut up and go back to sleep!" the bearded man exclaimed and threw a sugar cube at his colleague.

It would've hit him squarely on the nose, but then his whole body lit up with invisible light, and the cube came to a slow halt just a few centimeters from his face. He let out a pleased hum and pinched it between his thumb and forefinger before tossing it into his mouth.

"Thank you for the treat," Lord Gulliver spoke in an upbeat voice, and then sent a wink at Sahi, who burst out into giggles. Was he trying to impress her, I wondered? Or just playing the role of the kooky uncle that seemingly every family had?

In any case, the bearded arch-mage let out a lung-rattling groan and returned to the previous topic.

"As I said, it's the timing that's bothering me! Such as how, right after that happened, the Draconians decided to coincidentally hold a grand meeting on the island, only for it to be interrupted by a hitherto unknown Abyssal lord, and then immediately afterwards they not only decided to put aside their own political and economical interests, but also ally with their ancestral foes at the very same time! That kind of thing just doesn't happen, period!"

"But, it did," Lord Barnabas pointed out in a calm tone, but the other man doubled down, his furious visage made weird by the way his hands were carefully pouring cream into his cup at the same time.

"And I'm telling you it shouldn't have! This whole situation is way too artificial and scripted!" At this point he paused, once he finally deemed that his coffee (or rather, coffee-flavoured sugar and cream) was ready, he furiously circled the tiny spoon around in his cup before downing its contents in one go. For the finish, he wiped the foam off his moustache and then pointed at Lord Barnabas. "And that was before this… this Dunning person, who is apparently not only the infamous Chimera Slayer of Critias, but also the leader of the Brotherhood of Most Heroic Bloodlines and, on top of that, one of the figureheads of this new-fangled Draconic Federation, just happened to be kidnapped by Abyssals the day before we came to this island! It's all too suspicious to be a coincidence."

"It's true that there are many suspicious details about these events," Lord Barnabas spoke up in a level, diplomatic voice, and just as the bearded Arch-Mage could launch into another tirade, he raised his hand to forestall him. "However, that is the very reason why we are here. To discover the truth, not to jump to conclusions."

"He's got a point, you know?" the third man commented, but nobody reacted to him.

"I'm not jumping to conclusions! I'm trying to make sense of all of this!"

"That may be, but I do not see why you would find it sensible to consider the young man's kidnapping suspicious," the black man continued to argue, and the girl sitting next to him repeatedly nodded along.

"Right! What would the Draconic Federation gain from Leonard disappearing like that? Like, it totally—!" she burst out, but then she caught herself and forcefully cleared her throat. "Uh, I mean, it's illogical."

"Maybe to us, but who can fathom the madness in the reptilian minds of those Draconians?" Lord Ambrose shot back, and it made the third arch-mage let out a loud guffaw.

"Well, you're certainly trying, aren't you?"

With a withering glance, the portly man glared at Lord Gullivan, and then promptly kicked his shin.

"O-Ow! Hey, careful! Your boot has a metal heel!" the redhead complained, his hands furiously rubbing his bruised leg.

"Gentlemen. Please," Lord Barnabas spoke in a tone usually reserved for scolding misbehaving kids. "Don't fight in front of the children."

The man with the beard let out a dismissive grunt but didn't press the issue any further, while his colleague stopped rubbing his shin and started looking for the small book that fell from his face during the scuffle. By the looks of it, things were about to return to normal, but then the door in the back, the same one where Sahi came from, opened up and the class rep poked her head inside.

"Oh… They're here," she announced to someone behind her, and she opened the door wide so that they could walk in.

"Thank you, dear," an unfamiliar voice entered the scene, followed by a tall, lean woman.

She was wearing long white robes that superficially resembled an evening dress, with fur trims and a matching hat. She handed the latter over to Ammy and glanced around the room. Her features were soft, and by eye, I would've said she was in her late forties or early fifties. She wore light makeup, and her dark hair was woven into a thick braid that was tucked around her neck and hung in front of her chest. It kind of reminded me of the usual hairstyle of Judy's mom, just much longer and more elaborate.

"Please excuse my tardiness." She walked over to the table and did a simple curtsy, her expressionless face only thawing a little when she laid eyes on Sahi. "I see that we have company."

"Good evening, Auntie Taika!"

The ex-arch-mage's enthusiastic greeting seemingly broke the ice, and she smiled back at her.

"Hi, Sahi, my dear. How are you doing?"

"I'm doing great! What about you, Auntie?"

The woman let out a tired sigh and sat down next to Sahi before exhaling a tired sigh.

"Honestly, I just want to go home. I don't like this island."

"You see?" Lord Ambrose raised his voice, carrying a sense of triumph. "I'm not the only one!"

"I'm pretty sure she was talking about the weather, not your weird conspiracies," the lanky redhead quipped, causing the old man to growl at him. Completely ignoring those two, Lord Barnabas shook his head and turned to the class rep, still standing by the door.

"It's just the four of us today if I recall correctly."

"Y-Yes," Ammy floundered in an uncharacteristic display of bashfulness. "Grandfather said he couldn't make it today. I… would like to apologize in his stead."

"There's no need to do that," the female arch-mage spoke with a dismissive voice, and the black man shared her sentiment, though with much kinder words.

"Lord Endymonion must be busy, with everything that's currently happening on his island. We understand."

"T-Thank you," the class rep muttered and lowered her head to avoid eye contact.

In the meantime, Lord Gulliver pocketed his small book and clapped his hands.

"Well then, should we get this meeting underway before this guy overdoses on sugar?"

He pointed at the third cup of coffee in front of Lord Ambrose, and the bearded arch-mage let out a loud growl.

"Mind your own business, you upstart roughneck!"

Watching their argument, the dark-skinned arch-mage shook his head in defeat and turned to the woman sitting across Sahi.

"I agree with Gulliver. The sooner we are done with today's agenda, the sooner we can part with those two."

"I second the notion, but first…" she glanced at the quiet girl by her side and continued in a much gentler voice. "Sahi, my dear? The meeting is about to start."

"I know," she responded without meeting her eyes.

"We are going to discuss some terribly tedious affairs. I think you are better off leaving while you can," the female arc-mage explained, followed by a forlorn sigh. "I wish I could do the same."

"But, but…" Sahi tried to object, and sent a pleading glance at the class rep's way, but the message didn't get across, as she was still too busy making herself as small as possible. Seeing that she wasn't going to get any support from there, she turned to the other side and brought out the puppy dog eyes. "Uncle Barnie? Can I stay?"

"I'm afraid Lord Taika is right," he stonewalled her right away, and even pushed on her back to make her stand up. "What we are about to discuss isn't for the ears of children."

Sahi tried to object, but had little choice, being sandwiched between two insistent adults. At last, she exhaled a disappointed breath and got up.

"Oh, fine. See you next time!" she forced a happy-go-lucky smile onto her face and waved at the four arch-mages around the table in turn.

On her way out, she walked by Ammy, and after being startled for a moment, she hurriedly followed after her and the two of them left the room. The door closed behind them with a soft sound, and after a long beat, the brown girl let out a decidedly unladylike groan.

"Argh! This is so bogus! Like, I was this close to sitting in on their meeting! Gag me with a spoon!" She spoke in a 'whisper yelling' kind of voice and stomped her feet in frustration before turning to the class rep by her side. "Why didn't you help me out? I was, like, signalling for support, and you totally ignored me!"

"Sorry, I was… a little overwhelmed back there," Ammy admitted and shuffled her feet. "I'm not good with these kinds of situations."

"Bogus! I've totally seen you take Leonard to task! Don't tell me these old posers are scarier than him!"

I… had no idea how to feel about that comment just now, but I didn't have the time to ponder upon it for long, as the conversation soon rolled along.

"That's different," Ammy declared and adjusted her glasses.

"How is it any different?" Sahi shot back with a glare, but then she cocked her head to the side with a considerably more confounded expression. "Wait. Are you, like, shy in front of strangers? Is that what this is about?"

The class rep didn't respond, but she met her gaze, and before long, Sahi gave up and threw her hands into the air.

"Ah, whatever! It doesn't matter! Next time, I'll get them for sure!"

And with that, she turned on her heels and power-walked down the corridor leading to the stairs to the ground floor.

"Wait! Don't run! The floor is slippery here!" Ammy rushed after her, ironically at a more dangerous pace than Sahi ever did, which incidentally took the two of them out of the range of my Far Sight dead zone, so I couldn't spy upon the four Arch-mages even if I wanted to. Which I didn't, considering I already had to attend (and spy on) more meetings than I ever wanted to experience.

For the time being, I decided to just leave dealing with these four to Sahi, Ammy, and Lord Grandpa, and cross this whole Assembly-bridge when I got there. I would've had to cross a bunch of other bridges to get there first anyway, so there was no rush…