The Simulacrum - Chapter 92 - Part 2 (Patreon)
Content
The student body of Blue Cherry High exhaled a collective sigh the moment Lord Grandpa finally finished his long-winded speech on the podium. It echoed but for a moment in the gymnasium, still covered in the decorations left behind by the Christmas Ball, as it was soon replaced by the bustling sounds of a wave of teens streaming out of the place in a hurried yet organized manner. It kind of reminded me of an ant hive.
We had no reason to stand around either, so our little group also followed the flow.
"Winter break, here we go!" Angie exclaimed with a fist in the air, drawing a sideways glance from the class rep.
"Don't hold up the line."
"I'm not!"
"Cut her some slack," I interjected as I followed behind them. "I bet she's just happy she didn't fail any of her grades."
I might've been wrong on that one, as she turned at me with a disapproving look, but before she could object, we bumped into a couple of familiar faces.
"I totally didn't miss this part of my school days. Like, I gave my fair share of speeches, but I never-- Oh, hi guys!" Sahi greeted us with a grin, while her straight-laced companion only gave us a shallow nod in acknowledgment. "Endy, like totally overblew his speech this time didn't he?"
"I think it was about as long as usual," Josh mused, and the brown girl sent him a flat look.
"Really? Laaame! Paz, please remind me to outlaw long speeches once I get back my position."
Armband Guy didn't even acknowledge her words, but instead he turned to me and stated, "I delivered your message to the Lord, Dunning."
"Thanks. I owe you one."
"Message? What's that about?" Elly inquired, but this wasn't the place to discuss it, so I shook my head and mouthed a silent 'Later', which she grudgingly accepted.
In the meantime, we passed through the doors, and as the crowd around us dispersed, Sahi stretched her arms and then put them on her hips, accompanied by a provocative smirk.
"So? What do you kids plan to do during the holidays?"
Most of our group stiffened up and remained conspicuously silent, so I had no choice but to answer first.
"Lots of things to do. There's the auction coming up, and—"
"I don't mean that!" the incognito arch-mage cut me off with a weird grimace. "I don't mean business! You're, like, totally young! You should be playing around!"
"We do that too," I answered, a tad irritated. "We have three separate dates lined up, two family dinners, and a new year's party."
"We also have a couple of positions to try out we couldn't get to yesterday," Judy commented on the side, earning her a frown from me.
"That's not public information, Dormouse."
She shrugged me off, while Elly only let out a mirthful giggle. The others seemed more confused than anything, so it was probably only Sahi who got her meaning, as she flashed an ear-to-ear grin and punched me in the shoulder.
"Wicked! What about you guys?"
"I... have some plans," Ammy admitted with a slight stutter, while the childhood friend duo only averted their eyes, pretending that the question had nothing to do with them.
"We're decorating!" Penny suddenly exclaimed on my left, apparently joining our group along with my other sister. "Snowy's in charge, and I'm helping!"
"That's also wicked!"
"W-What! No, it's not!" she denied with a reddened face and even waved her hands around. "It's completely normal!"
She apparently wasn't used to Sahi's vernacular yet, so I tapped her on the shoulder.
"She meant it sounded nice."
"Then why did she call it wicked?" she asked back, her outrage fully replaced by confusion.
"That's just how she speaks," Judy added on the side.
"But it means the opposite!"
"Well, she could've also called it gnarly, fresh, bad, choice, or tubular. They all mean more or less the same thing," I noted, and my knightlier sister looked at me like I was from the moon and let out a befuddled groan.
In the meantime, Sahi cleared her throat to draw our attention, and she declared, "We're, like, going on a training trip to prepare for the competition!"
"We?" Josh blurted out, and she nodded with a toothy grin.
"I was appointed to accompany her," Pascal explained in a tired voice, and I could practically hear the implied 'so that she wouldn't cause too much chaos' in it.
"I have it all planned out! It's going to be totally tubular!"
"See, I told you," I quipped at my sister, but her eyes were still swimming, so I wasn't sure she registered my words.
Then suddenly, music. When I glanced over, I found Sahi shadowboxing, with the phone in her right hand playing the kind of music you'd hear under a training montage. Was she really this hyped about the tournament, I wondered?
"She's been like ever since she convinced the Lord to let her compete," Armband Guy noted, but it didn't seem to bother her at all.
"So I guess we're going to be rivals, huh?" Josh mused on the side, and Sahi finally stopped throwing jabs and hooks at thin air.
"Are you, like, competing too?"
"He's in the second wing, with the rest of the independent contestants," Judy noted, and she let out a small chuckle.
"So that's how it is! Try your best, kid, and we might even meet in the ring!"
"Oh, don't worry about me. I'm different from back then," Josh responded with a positively wolfish grin. "I'll see you on the twenty-seventh and show you in person!"
"Eighth," Elly cut in to correct him, and the guy twitched like he hit a wall.
"Excuse me?"
"The contest will start on the twenty-eighth," Armband Guy told everyone in a voice that said he found the fact Josh didn't already know that baffling. "We received a message from the Feilong family, saying that due to security reasons, they decided not to host the grand auction and the preliminaries of the tournament on the same day."
I nodded along, already aware of the information. Apparently, my little jaunt as Bel during the grand elder's secret meeting did have an effect after all. Because of the large number of contestants, and because they would need time to recover between the matches, the tournament was also extended from two days to three, meaning the finals would be held on the thirtieth I wasn't really against it, as it gave me more time to finish my preparations and hammer out my plans.
Incidentally, our internal tournament would be held on the thirty-first and would be followed by a big new year's party doubling as a victory banquet that I also had to prepare for. All in all, this promised to be a busy couple of weeks.
"Twenty-seventh or twenty-eighth, it doesn't matter! You'll see!" Josh declared, still looking at Sahi, and she responded with a provocative smirk. Was this a rivalry in the making, I wondered? Seeing him pick a fight with an incognito arch-mage like that felt a little unfair, but then again, he was the one who insisted that he wanted to take part in the contest, so it was only fair that he would lie on the bed he made.
"I'm also participating!" Penny butted in, once she finally resolved her linguistic blue screen of death, and she was soon joined by the princess.
"So am I!"
"That much is, like, obvious, isn't it?"
"I… guess it is?" Elly responded a tad dispiritedly, so I patted her on the back to cheer her up.
"Amelia is also competing," Judy informed them, and Armband Guy's exhausted look instantly disappeared as he glanced over in alarm.
"This is the first time I am hearing of this."
"I'm joining the independent brackets," the class rep explain a touch awkwardly, then after a brief pause she added, "Don't tell Grandfather."
The two locked eyes for a while, and Pascal ultimately let out a grunt that I interpreted as agreement.
"Wow! That's going to be some stiff competition fer shur! I'm getting totally stoked!" the brown girl in the middle of our group exclaimed with one fist thrust into the air, prompting Armband Guy to let out a sigh and unceremoniously push her arm down with his palm.
"Please act your age."
"I'm totally acting my age!" Sahi fumed and faced the guy. "I'm, like, a cute teenage girl, so it's fine!"
"Calling yourself cute does not mean you are."
"Oh? So are you saying I'm not cute?" she challenged him with a provocative grin, but instead of answering, Pascal simply rolled his eyes without moving a single other muscle on his face, and Sahi let out a triumphant laugh.
While they were doing their thing, I noticed that Judy was pulling on my sleeve, so I turned my attention to her.
"Chief, it's almost ten. Shouldn't we get going?"
"The confectionery doesn't go anywhere," I pointed out, but my dear assistant shot my objection down with a shake of her head.
"It doesn't, but the special Christmas cakes are, and we have a lot of people here."
"True…" I granted her and raised my voice to get the attention of the group. "Winter break is upon us, people. Let's get moving before it's over."
"Where are you going?" Sahi cut in with a mischievous look in her eyes. "I could swear I've heard something about cakes just now."
"Our favorite haunt has a special Christmas menu for this week only," Angie answered her before I could. "We agreed to hang out there today after the closing ceremony."
"Really? Can we come?"
"We?" Armband Guy uttered in a deadpan tone, prompting his companion to poke him in the side with her elbow.
"Come on, Paz! It'll be totally wicked! I've got my paycheck, so I'll even treat you this time!"
While she was trying to convince him, I glanced around to get everyone's opinions, and since nobody objected, I said, "Be my guest. We're meeting in front of the lockers."
"Gotcha!" she beamed at me and pulled the still reluctant Armband Guy along as we all headed to the stairwell.
My sisters went ahead first to get their bags, followed by the magi duo breaking off to talk with Lord Grandpa. It appeared that Pascal had some prior appointments with the arch-mage, but Sahi was confident she could get him off the hook. More importantly, since we still had our bags in the classroom, the girls volunteered Josh to get them, and I tagged along out of solidarity.
As such, we walked upstairs, careful to dodge the steady stream of placeholders also heading home after the formalities were done and over with. I originally didn't want to pry, but since I had the opportunity presented to me on a silver platter, I figured I might as well break the ice and ask the guy directly.
"So? How are things going with Angie?"
Josh nearly stumbled, which was kind of dangerous when you're climbing the stairs, but he caught himself and uttered a flustered, "What do you mean?"
I directed a skeptical brow at him, but he continued to play dumb.
"Aren't you two going out?"
He looked at me funny at first, but ultimately exhaled a defeated sigh and muttered, "I should've known you'd know."
"Of course. It's my job to know things," I told him with a cocky grin, but he remained flustered. "What? Is there a problem? Is that why you haven't announced it?"
"It's complicated…" After whispering so, he gestured for me to head inside the unexpectedly empty classroom. Once we were in, he slid the door behind us shut and turned to me with a difficult expression.
"Okay, I bite. What's so complicated about it?"
"We're not really going out," he told me a touch sheepishly. "It's more of a trial, really. To see how it would work out if we tried for real. That's why we didn't tell anyone about it and… why are you glaring at me?"
Instead of answering, I took a deep breath to calm myself and then buried my face in my palm. I had a vague expectation that something silly like this was at play, but directly hearing it from Josh's mouth nearly gave me a cringe-induced aneurism.
"Of all the things, why did you two have to choose the most idiotic development out there?"
"Is… Is that a trick question?"
"No!" I yelled out, only to tone it back a little and collect myself. "Listen, Josh. We're friends, right?"
"Yeah?"
"Then as a friend, listen to me well. This thing is not going to work."
"You mean me and Angie?"
"No, you bloody neutron star! I'm talking about this 'trial relationship' crap! Those never work out!"
"Oh."
He didn't look entirely convinced, so I pulled him over and took two nearby chairs so we could sit down.
"Let's start from the beginning. Why did you go with a trial instead of entering into a straightforward, simple relationship like normal people?"
"That's rich, coming from you…"
"Answer the question please."
He didn't want to, but after staring daggers at him for a while, he finally gave up and slouched his shoulders in defeat.
"Fine, fine. You can be such a busybody sometimes," he grumbled, but at last began his explanation. "It happened during the school festival. We had a good time, and then while we were walking to our spot to watch the fireworks, the topic of relationships came up, and then one thing led to another, and I kind of told her that if I'd ever go out with someone, it would be someone who knew me really well. Like her."
"So that was your confession, huh?"
"It wasn't really a confession. I wasn't even planning on saying anything like that. It just kinda… slipped out," he told me with an expression that said he really didn't want to have this conversation.
I naturally disregarded that and pressed on.
"Then what?"
"Then she joked about us going out, and I told her I would give it a try, and she agreed," he summed things up, prompting me nearly bury my face in my hands again.
"So it was your fault."
"It wasn't my fault! It just sounded natural in conversation, and she was talking about all kinds of weird things, like how I could go out with Lily and Penelope too, and it just got really awkward and I pressed the idea harder than I originally planned."
"She really said that? Going out with my sisters?"
"Yeah. She had this weird idea for some completely unknown reason," he said, but the pointed look he was giving me said otherwise.
"In my defense, I never intended to serve as a relationship role model to anyone."
"But you still gave her the idea. I mean, you must have, because I don't know where else she could've gotten it. It makes no sense either! I don't even like Penelope!"
"What about Snowy then?"
"… Well, I do like her, but not like like her, and… Wait. Didn't we already have this conversation?"
"Now that you mention it, we did," I concurred with a bemused frown. "So she was hinting at a polyamorous relationship, you got startled by it, and committed to her without really committing to her. Is that the gist of it?"
"… Why do you have to oversimplify things like that every time we talk about this stuff?"
"I take that as a yes," I said absentmindedly, my brain already working on how to explain the trope to him without being too on the nose. "Listen up, Josh. These kinds of 'trial relationships' never work out. Or rather, they work out in the long run, but they cause all kinds of stupid and annoying misunderstandings and contrived situations in the process neither of us has the time for."
"Such as?"
Since he prompted me like that, I went ahead without any reservations.
"Such as this: First you start this 'trial' and have a honeymoon period. Keeping it secret is thrilling, and you have brand new boundaries to push, so you have fun. Then when you start really getting into it, you start doubting the validity of the relationship, since it's not 'real'. It leads to friction, which leads to arguments, which leads to an inevitable breakup with some sappy parting words about how 'It was not meant to be' and whatnot. Then you two are both going to be miserable for an extended period of time, things are going to be really awkward, it will cause tensions in the group, but then something dramatic, stupid, or most likely stupidly dramatic happens, and you realize your true feelings, and then you two end up properly dating anyway, making the whole song-and-dance-routine a complete waste of everyone's time."
As I finished, I noticed that Josh was giving me a dumbfounded look, but instead of doubting what I just said, he only uttered a dazed, "Really?"
"Yes, really," I stressed, and even crossed my arms and nodded for emphasis. "Therefore the most logical thing to do is to just cut through all that bullshit, and forget about the whole 'trial' part altogether."
"I see." He remained silent for a few seconds, with his gaze on the floor, then suddenly looked me in the eye and said, "I'm not gonna lie, I didn't expect a pep talk on the topic, but I kinda see what you're getting at."
"You're welcome." I flashed a toothy smile at him and rose to my feet, and Josh soon followed my example. "I'm just saying, if you are willing to settle down with her, do it properly."
"Yeah, I got that part."
In the meantime, I picked up Elly's and Judy's bags, and Josh took care of the rest. Once we were loaded up, I returned the chairs I borrowed to their place, but before he would open the door, I raised my voice to get Josh's attention.
"By the way, I kind of forgot to say this at the beginning, but congratulations on getting a girlfriend. It was about time."
"Thanks, I guess, but I don't really like the way you put it," he griped, but he was also smiling, so I just chuckled along and opened the door in his stead. However, it was at this point that he added, "By the way, can I have a question?"
"Shoot."
"Why a neutron star?"
Was he pulling my leg, I wondered? Even after giving him a critical look, his expression remained entirely sincere, so I told him, "The fact that you had to ask why I called you that only further justifies it."
"I still don't get it."
"Don't worry, pal." I patted him on the shoulder as I walked out, only to reconsider, glance back, and add, "You'll get it when you're older. Trust me, it's going to be a great story for the kids."
"If you say so…"
I flashed another smile, and we headed downstairs to meet up with the girls without another word, giving Josh the space he probably needed to ruminate on his relationship. Or the properties of super-dense stellar objects. One or the other.