On Iridescent Wings I Dream (Waifu Catalog) Chapter 1 (Patreon)

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Chapter 1

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INITIATION

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Unknown location
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The office room was neat and extremely well kept, almost  supernaturally so, but the woman sitting behind the large ornate table  at the back was not someone he had expected to see in this situation.
In hindsight though, her presence wasn’t that much of a surprise. Her  suit was very formal and militaristic but something about the way it was  made accentuated her figure far more than it should have. Despite being  fully covered, her appearance still somehow managed to come off as  lewd. A paradox as it were.

However, it was the woman’s face that strangled any potentially horny  thoughts in its crib. For the lean, blonde woman staring at him with  intense, piercing blue eyes was none other than Tanya Von Degurechaff,  the devil of Rhine, fellow reincarnator and now, the acting  representative for a certain omniversal corporation who were  particularly infamous for the special brand of services and merchandise they offered; ‘The Company’, and its infamous Waifu Catalog (or the Husbando catalogue and any other variation of it thereof depending on whichever dimension the client is from.)

She also just informed him that she was to be his direct superior during his tenure as one of their Contractors... unless he managed to get promoted of course.

‘Ah’. The thought. ‘I’m fucked, aren’t I? And not in the fun way either.’

She looked a lot older than she was depicted in the anime, but then again this was The Company;  she might simply have been recruited after she reached that age, or she  could be a clone, a captured ‘waifu’, or even a contractor herself who  had simply worked her way up the ranks. There was no real way to find  out without asking sensitive or invasive questions that might annoy the  same woman who had a… history of tossing unruly subordinates to their deaths. It far was better for his health that he simply didn’t.

But then again, he had more important questions to find answers for;  like figuring out his original name before truck-kun apparently decided  that he made a fine isekai candidate, who he wanted to be, and so on.
Since the personification of death that had dropped him here had claimed  his old name and his identity, he had to start anew. Tanya, for all  that she was a sadistic monster in the body of a young woman, was still  sympathetic towards his situation, having also been at the mercy of  higher beings mucking up her afterlife.

She had given him a company tablet and told him to figure his shit out  and start a build while she entertained other clients in the meantime.

“Good Hunter, how much exactly do you know about the company?”

Case in point, like the rather interesting situation unfolding just a few meters away.

“Not much to be honest. As for how much I know of your organization...  Well, I was told that you are aware of the events that occurred within  my instance of Yharnam?”

“Some among our group perhaps, but I am personally unaware of them.”

“Ah, I’m sorry then. To put things into context, I am of a race of  god-like eldritch beings that are commonly referred to as the ‘great  ones’ - and no, we aren’t of Cthulhu's ilk, though you can say that we  are distant cousins. Our kind are sympathetic by nature, especially  towards mortal beings, and it gets hard to ignore their cries for help,  especially if whatever they request ends up fulfilling our goals in the  process.
But in the end, our primary goal has always been… procreation.”

There was a lull in the conversation as the woman in the Victorian dress  drank a glass of water, before raising an eyebrow at the taste.

“All great ones desire children of our own, but as we are abstract  entities that were born of the aether, immortal and 'perfect', most of  our kind naturally lack such an ability. We have tried reproducing with  the aid of mortal beings in the past, but the results have almost always  failed spectacularly. I too desire children of my own, far more than  they do. As someone who was born a human, losing that affected me far  more than it did any of my brethren… I admit I didn’t take it well. I  tried everything but nothing seemed to work.” The voice sighed.
”Then one of your agents arrived within the dream and attempted to court  me. He was surprised about my… current condition as he had expected to  arrive at a point when I was still acting as a Hunter of beasts, but it had been millennia since  then… His horrible sense of timing aside, the man was determined to  make it work somehow, and claimed that he would be able to grant me my  wish. And it would have worked too. I could Sense it… he certainly haf  the potential for it. But then he succumbed to an… aggressive  accumulation of [Insight] the moment we finished our coupling and  perished. The attempt was a failure, but it cannot be ignored that the  potential was there.

… That had to be the deadliest case of a post nut clarity he had ever heard of.

“...And you eventually located this station by using the device he left behind, then?” Tanya asked.

“Yes.”

Tanya groaned “The idiot didn’t even bother to pick the right defences!  And why the fuck would anyone disable the perception filter and leave  their company devices where someone could just pick it up?”

Tanya… I don’t think the eldritch abomination even noticed a perception filter being there in the first place.

Case in point, the Good Hunter said nothing, and Tanya sighed for the umpteenth time.

“Very well madam, I’ll direct you towards customer service. Our list of  agents are rather extensive, and they will be able to direct you towards  a contractor who should have the proper defences and perks required to  satisfy your needs, if that is okay with you?"

Wait, was the Good Hunter treating the company as a glorified dating app?

“…Are there so many who would be receptive to my advances here?”

...Yes, yes she was apparently.

Tanya snorted. “As if anyone would refuse a TX companion. But no. You  would be surprised at what people would do for a pretty face, you don’t  have to worry about being rejected. Quite the opposite in fact.”

“Hm. I see. I thank you Lady Tanya, I shall avail myself of the  Company’s Services. I bid you a good day.” And then she proceeded to  flicker out of existence… right in the center of the a Company  stronghold which was supposed to be warded against literal Gods.  Hell, he knew that the Good Hunter was listed as a tier 7 companion  right now, or tier 10 depending on whether she had finished the  childhood's beginning ending or not, but this one had apparently spent  the better part of a millennia honing her abilities… and that did not  take into account whatever space-god bullshit she had snorted to gain  the kind of epiphany that allowed her to circumvent countermeasures that  were that were designed to keep out beings far stronger than her.

He saw long and hard days ahead for the R&D team. Maybe this branch lacked funding?

Tanya blinked, then she proceeded to curse. “An Aberration. And of COURSE it would come to me.” She slumped onto her chair “I really need a raise for dealing with this bullshit.”

He raised an eyebrow at her and she sighed, waving her hand. “Special  case individuals whose development mutated significantly from expected  growth patterns from other versions of themselves. The Good Hunter was  far, far more powerful than she had any right to be.”

“Ah I can see how that might cause problems.” And wasn't that an understatement.

“Yes. Thankfully, she was here peacefully, or I might have been forced  to use the panic button, and while it might successfully evict her from  the station, our survival would not have been guaranteed.” He… really  didn’t want to know what the panic button did.
Ignorance was bliss, after all.

“So did you finish making all your choices?” she asked.

“Yes.”

“Let’s see. You picked the ‘possess’ origin as Oberon-Vortigern? I’m not  familiar with the individual in question but it can be done. Any reason  as to why? I expected you to forge a new identity of your own.”

He shrugged “I’m almost a blank slate at the moment, I’d have to relearn  a lot of things if I did that and my first assignment is going to be  dangerous. Death said as much. I need all the advantages I can  get. I also think it's fitting in a way. My entire existence is a lie.  Especially after I sign that contract."

Tanya snorted. "Keep your eighth-grade syndrome edgelord philosophy out of this conversation please."

"Of course ma’am." He smiled cheekily.

“Very well then, if you’ve thought things through, I won’t question any  of your choices. I’m not a fan of fooling around on a job but the nature  of the profession means that you can tackle things at your own pace. I  trust that you have read the mission brief your… benefactor has given  you?"

He nodded.

"Well then, so long as your overall performance isn’t affected, I don’t  mind you doing things your way, but if nothing beyond your control  occurs and you still mess up due to simple stupidity, we will be having words, understood?"
Translation: If you fuck this up, I'm going to fuck you up.

"Yes, ma’am."

"Well then, let us get you fixed up, Oberon."

She pressed another button on the desk, and he blacked out.

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When he woke up again, he instantly noticed that he had an actual,  proper body now. Oh, and that there was another person in the room with  them.

"Tanya-chan! How's my favorite unbeliever doing? Are you adjusting well to your new job?"

"...Yes."

"Good, good, Is your creepy stalker still annoying you? Just tell  Onee-chan and she'll deal with that bastard! I'll rearrange his face, I  tell you!"

"No, calm down... Onee-chan." The sheer pain on her face when she said those words were hilarious "Being X isn't bothering me anymore."

Ah yes, here was the reason why Tanya was managing him personally. After  all, his recruitment was non-standard due to the individual that was  suddenly sitting right next to him; the entity known as Death.

Death took on many appearances, but it was known to differ wildly  depending on whatever the viewer associated it with the most. If what  Tanya said was anything to go by, those who had actually died  would describe its appearance as being somewhere along the lines of a  ‘trauma’ or as a representation of their ‘cause of death’. He would have  asked what that meant, if the asshole didn’t take the appearance of an anthropomorphic truck.

There was no further elaboration required.

Oberon's left eye twitched in annoyance.

As for why she was here? Well, because Death wanted a gopher. No,  she wasn't here as a patron or a sponsor - he apparently wasn't 'cute'  enough for that, but instead because she apparently thought that he made  a fine source of entertainment.

"Death. I'm done with my build. Will you tell me about the mission -  properly this time, and why it was so important that you gave me an  extra 700 points to spend on my companions?"

"Hmm... I already told you the rough outline though?" His eye twitched again.

"I don't think 'Fighting the abridged cast of the bible and taking some  bitches' is that great a description." He stated. It was why he had  chosen violence and made such an... aggressive build as he did.

The anthropomorphic nightmare that would better fit inside terrible  Transformers fanfiction just shrugged. "Sucks to be you then."

Tanya just sighed. "Children. Please stop arguing, I've already spent too long on this case, can we move on now?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Fine~"

...

"I still rest my case, can anyone tell me what I'm supposed to do here?"

"Nyeh! You just gotta assert dominance! Pull out your dick and smack  everyone's faces with it! T-pose over the corpses of your enemies! You  can do that, can't you? If you're so hung up about it, I'll send you  some extra deets once you've been dropped off. It's far more  entertaining for me when you make a build that's not affected by any  preconceived notions - I don't want to see you go in with a build  designed to counter whatever setting I want to throw you into! Oh! and  while you can pick more later you're only allowed to pick one waifu  right now! You can choose more after you leave though. That's all that  I'm willing to say right now."

"...I see."

Tanya sighed. “At least your method of entertainment is marginally tamer than being X’s” she grumbled.

Death gasped "Don't compare me to that-"

Oberon relented and tuned out the conversation a he thought about his  situation. In any case, he had prepared for the worst. The plan was  simple, and should possibly counter most things that were thrown his  way; Unleash a brutally efficient (plant?) of war with inexhaustible,  instantly replenishable troops in the form of V/V to swarm the enemy and  capture all hostile targets, Violently object to those she couldn't  deal with immediately by punching them in the face personally, and if  the situation was completely unsalvageable, unleash the  Anti-World noble phantasm Oberon had in the form of the 'Insect of the  Abyss" - which was notorious for its ability to consume literally anything, no matter how strong it was due to the ability to scale up infinitely, and was described to be worse than a black hole. The only known weakness were holy swords - which was in turn negated by the Company's perks.

Speaking about companions, there was V/V. It honestly baffled him how  she was only considered tier 8, but it wasn't his place to argue against  company policy, especially not when it worked in his favor.

Here was V/V, a young ethereally beautiful entity who manifested and  adopted the form and mind of a pale, blonde haired, gorgeous young woman  with a pair of actual angel wings and a halo. A stereotypical  biblically inaccurate angel so as to speak.
V/v also looked exactly like he had expected her to - like Irisveil,  only blonde. Which made a lot of sense considering that she was  essentially Nasu’s prototype character design for the Einzbern  homunculus, but in the grand scheme of the actual nasuverse, it might  just be a 'coincidence' - like all the various saberfaces out there.

Rather, here was the Ultimate One, TYPE-VENUS, the very pinnacle of  power that originated from the celestial body known as 'Venus'  throughout the vast expanse of the Type-Moon Multiverse.

This was a world ending calamity who could have destroyed all life on  Earth within half an hour or less provided that it made landfall with  her mind intact. This was a being to which the concept of DEATH was  foreign and could replicate itself ex nihilo and even terraforming the  planet to her liking, overwriting reality by superimposing its own  distorted perception upon it. This was a being who was only stopped by  someone literally shooting her with a gun whose literal description was  that it was a super-weapon that ‘forced a lifespan upon immortal  beings’, whose destructive potential scaled with the strength of the  target - and even then, it was only successful so far as to force V/V  into a temporary state of dormancy. The only reason she stopped at all,  was because she  was ‘infected’ by ‘human stuff’ and found hairless  monkeys to be cool and didn’t want them dead anymore, and thus decided  to stay dormant.

The fact that she was capable of space travel under her own power has  serious implications in the nasuverse. It also means that you had around  the same amount of magical energy to throw around - or grain in this  case - as Tiamat, Oort, Type moon, Velber and so on.… which made sense  actually.

Some say quality beats quantity, and that is especially the case in a  world like Dragonball, where even a side character could casually  destroy planets. But it all came down to a large number of factors and  how the scenario played out. Unlike advertised, you couldn’t just punch all your problems away even if you have galaxy busting physical strength.

Her true body was described as a giant Carnivorous plant in the form of a  giant Angel? (Fish? not sure of that) but with a wingspan that reached  around ten kilometers. She naturally radiates a body heat that could fry  a sealed aircraft instantly just by getting close, and her preferred  method of combat was to analyze a world, and then choose a seedbed that  can best eradicate all existing life on the planet- she does this by  consuming CONCEPTS, and then spreading spores as she eats away  the planet, replacing the local flora and fauna with her own. For  example, the spores she chose to deal with the humans of the Land Of  Steel were 'Angel type predation terminals'. It was established in story  that she could have ended all life on the planet should she have made  landfall alive... which she didn't but then again, she was shot down by  black barrel, which was the same gun that blew up Robo!Zeus.  Arguably, she was the weakest among the Ultimate Ones, but that was  mostly a misconception born of the fact that she was the most vulnerable  to human weaponry due to being the one who was closest to 'Earth based  life' in terms of biology, and logic.

Even dead, she managed to re-alive herself somehow, and proceeded to create a Stand of all things (yes people, it's really in the wiki) that appears as an  angel to interact with people. Yes she's passive and very much an  airhead but it doesn't mean that she's not dangerous.

He had no idea where Death was going to drop him, only that it was going  to be dangerous and a target rich environment. He had taken V/V along  because her base power as a Type was nothing to scoff at, and that was  discounting her ability to create billions, if not trillions of  combat-capable units within an absurdly short time-frame. She also could  tailor her combat units to suit whatever threat she faced provided that  she observed them long enough. But all that was before the template  stacking came into play.

Due to her unique nature as a conceptual parasite despite having  physical form, when the template stacking kicked in, the results would  be wildly unpredictable. He would have to see what comes of it himself

"Okay then, if you're done, I'll send you on your way!" Death beamed.

Well then, it's time to face the music.

"Let's just hope I survive this."

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