Demo No.2 - Indiana vs Lara (Patreon)

Happy Halloween-Eve... is that a thing? If not, I guess it is now. :) Following on from the demo we posted up a few days ago, we have another Indiana vs Lara demo for your ears. This one was further into the writing process.

You'll see a whole chunk of Indy's first verse was now properly coming together. Likewise some key concepts from Lara's first verse had now been written. But, both verses would see future rewriting.

The only lyrics that survived this version of Indy's second verse were the Uncharted references. And at this stage we were planning on a Drake cameo. We weren't sure if he would get one or two lines. (But obviously his appearance was cut later in the writing process)

The majority of Lara's second verse would also end up being cut. With just the lyrics "You ain’t John Williams, so you ain’t scoring" and "a Halloween costume for out of shape Dads" surviving future rewrites.

As you can probably tell, the rewriting was pretty relentless on this battle. We were always having to shape and reshape things to build out the characters. Sometimes bad ideas can spark good ideas and spending time on rewriting will always benefit the final track imho.

We'll post up another demo (from later in the writing process) this week.

Hope you enjoy the demo. Here are the lyrics so you can follow along - HM.

INDIANA JONES

Let’s get this battle crackin',

I’ll leave you like your reboot, flattened.

You used to give a new meaning to booby trapping,

What happened?

You got too woke to be fun,

Now my Indianaconda don’t want none.

Look at all the actresses that ditched you,

You burn through women quicker than I do.

I think you should have dropped Hollywood as an option,

When even Angelina gave you up for adoption.

Does anyone still care about your games?

I’m an archaeologist, I can't find your fanbase's remains.

The first four notes of my theme music is better,

Than all your content put together.

You're a spoilt princess on your daddies estate,

You got all those pounds but to me you're lightweight.

You shed your skin with every remake,

You remind me of what I hate most - a snake.

LARA CROFT

Dr, Jones you're no rival,

You've been getting owned since gimme me the whip, throw me the idol.

Your charm is a puzzle I could never solve,

I shed like a snake cos you make my skin crawl.

Some ladies think you're rugged and hunky,

But you're a worse date than the one that killed that little monkey.

A night with you is what your students dream of,

But Marion was 15, that's no time for love.

You'll uncover subtle racism under your looks,

No wonder Hitler stopped by to sign one of your books.

And calling you a discoverer is overly creative,

Everything that you've claimed, you just stole from natives.

Fedora The Explorer you can come and get some,

I'm dropping bomb rhymes that you can't hide in a fridge from.

Two decades of game and my fans still adore me,

You tried aliens and nukes and you chose poorly.

So, fly back home in your Nazi Zepplin,

Try getting another slice of your dads sloppy seconds.

I can spot an outdated chump the second I see them,

It's obvious your game belongs in a museum.

INDIANA JONES

If there's one thing in your series I could never understand,

Why do you use dual pistols when your fans only play with one hand?

Only your first game will be a classic,

The rest are drinking from the wrong grail - they age quick.

My films look great turning forty,

I'm no kid but I'll end this round shortly.

You took 3D to Uncharted territory,

Now you're just in Uncharted's territory.

You dropped harder than your daddie's plane,

Replaced by Drake like Lil Wayne.

NATHAN DRAKE

Did somebody say... (boulder cameo) oh, goddamnit!

LARA CROFT

Thanks Pops, 

But I think it’s time Lara Croft cut you off like one of my tank tops.

That shot that you took at my fists of pistols,

Sharded harder in your pants than the Kingdom of Crystals.

Cause teaching, and treasure-seeking and beefing they ain’t compatible,

You need to ask your dean for a rap battle sabbatical.

This body ain’t a temple that you’ll ever be exploring,

You ain’t John Williams, so you ain’t scoring. 

I do everything you do in short shorts and legs waxed,

You’re a Halloween costume for out of shape Dads.

Hoosier your Daddy of torment, it’s the lady with the chalice,

Indiana ain’t moved a crowd since the malice in the palace.

This is Lara's house, there ain’t no one badder,

Allow me to show you out in my own Croft Manner.

You’ve got a fraction of my skill I’m on top like a numerator,

This game is over you can’t resume later.