Lloyd gets down and dirty with MTB! (Patreon)

Earlier this week we published Pete's thoughts on the seven match-ups selected for the latest round of MakeThisBattle. But, Lloyd has decided to throw in his own thoughts on all the match-ups. So, lets see what he has to say... take it away Lloyd...

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Ok, let me start by saying this...it's early and I haven't had my coffee yet.  What does that mean you may ask?  It means the teeth are out.  I'm pulling no punches. The silver lining is if I do like the match-up you'll know I really mean it, cause when I don't, you're gonna feel it!

Andre the Giant vs Peter Dinklage

Weak-sauce. Here's why; the very match up alone is both a short joke and a tall joke and those are low blows right out the gate. Making fun of someone's size is as tasteless to me as making fun of someone for being fat or skinny etc. If there were other connections for these two characters I would be more into it but on the whole, I think it's a bad look.  

The Fonz vs Steve Urkel

Corn souffle topped with a side of weak-sauce. This is a personal beef. I was never into 80's and 90's sitcoms or TGIF TV like Full House or Family Matters or any of that stuff. It's corny.  It's more corny than the Corn Pops in your kid brother's breakfast bowl. It's cornier than the corn palace in Mitchell South Dakota. It's cornier than Ty Cobb's last name. And while I love delicious corn on my plate, I don't want it in my rap battles. Now do I think there is a market for these guys? Maybe. Urkel specifically I think is beloved and might get some fans excited...I'm just not one of those fans. Was the Fonz cool back in the day? Maybe, but he like the term Happy Days invented, he has long ago jumped the shark.   

Saddam Hussein vs Fidel Castro

This dish is undercooked. Makes my skin crawl now, but maybe a little farther down the line this would be cool. I think Saddam Hussein is polarizing and conjuring images of his capture and execution and his connection (or rather lack thereof) to the September 11th tragedy and all those things are still pretty raw. We'd basically have to make jokes about the Iraq War and WMD's and that whole situation still feels a little too recent to be funny. Castro on the other hand is much more doable in my eyes. I just don't see him in this match up.

John James Audubon vs Colonel Sanders

Are we making bird connections now? Is this fried chicken battles of history now? Is that what's going on here? Was the Burger King and Ronald not enough for you people!? How hungry for fast food are you, dammnit?  Are you asking me to research and then spend countless hours making raps about snowy owls and storks and magpies? What did I ever do to you to deserve this? I thought we were cool.

Hercules vs Spider-Man

Spider-Man is rad and he needs to be represented in ERB. Casting him would be clutch.  He's a good character for another animated battle so we could really get him swinging and jumping all over. I don't really understand the connection to Hercules though. Hercules on his own is pretty cool I think. I mean, he's like super strong and stuff. He wears a banana hammock and walks around being all "the son of a God " and stuff.  But I'm sorry one web from Spidey and this dude is toast. 

Joe Exotic vs Tiger Woods

Everything about it, says I should hate this suggestion. It's all wrong. It's surface and knee jerk and topical and unimportant. I think this battle might end our whole series. People would hate us forever. Skies would fall and societies crumble. But like a moth to the flame, I can't say no. I'm in love and I don't care what anyone thinks. I think the battle would be so funny and so hilarious and filled with fun visuals and just straight up ridonkulous. Matter of fact, I'm head to the tattoo shop to get this inked on my heart just above my heart. Long story short; bird connections, NO. Tiger connections, 2 thumbs up.

Mulder & Scully vs The Scooby Gang

Just when we were starting to become friends again you go and kick me in the balls.  

But, I love you all!  - eL

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So there you have it folks. Evidence if we needed it that Lloyd eats match-ups for breakfast. If you want to read Pete's thoughts on the match-ups you can see them all over at: https://www.patreon.com/posts/38480110

And don't forget to vote for your favourite match-up from this round in the current poll over at: https://www.patreon.com/posts/38480847

Reminder: submissions for the latest 'Most Wanted' close at 5pm PT today so if you haven't done so already let us know your favorite opponent ideas for Elizabeth I. Just comment over at: https://www.patreon.com/posts/38502253