26 & Sunflowers (Patreon)

As is tradition, I'm back to write another birthday blog post!

It has been a crazy year. It also marks one year at Cineverse, another year of SCP, and life, I guess.

But this year, instead of rattling on about new announcements and project statuses (though I promise I will do that later in this newsletter), I thought I'd spend a little time reflecting on creating.

I work a job where I’m fortunate enough to touch many incredible art pieces. I spend days thinking about art, approving merchandise, reviewing scripts, editing actor’s lines, and listening to podcasts weeks before they ever reach your ears- and yet, in a job where I'm surrounded by so much art every day, I find myself lost in the engine room.

You see, I’m a machine-fixing expert. Every day I oil the gears, clean the cogs, and ensure everything runs smoothly. It jams from time to time, but I'm the machine-fixing expert. I fill it with fuel, and replace the parts, put out the fires. But the machine is loud and all-consuming. It's easy to get lost in all the moving parts, disoriented by the noise, exhausted by the constant maintenance. But I'm the machine fixing expert, and I love my job.

Recently, I've come up from the engine room and found myself full of new worries. My hands have become accustomed to the weight of wrenches and hammers, not pens and pencils. I fear I've forgotten how to write, and edit, and act, and play.

So, I’ve begun re-learning how to play. How to make a mess and have fun with my art. It's slow going, and it's hard not to turn some of my projects into work.

My fiance bought me a piano for my birthday. I've been struggling- but slowly learning- to play. It feels refreshing to learn how to create all over again. It feels grounding.

Today is a quiet day in our house. The cats are asleep. The sunflowers outside my window are swaying in the breeze. I’m spending the day writing, painting, and practicing piano (poorly).

I'm relishing the quiet day. It's nice.

Next week will be busy. I'm flying to LA, where I'll be performing at Midsummer Scream!

It's been an incredible year, and I'm looking forward to kicking it off with a big performance. But I'm also looking forward to more quiet days to rest, relax, and play.

Best,

Pacific