Chasmfall: Chapters 21-22 (The Weirkey Chronicles) (Patreon)

Well, we're finally to these chapters. Most of my notes will go at the end, but first, some news about our Discord server!

If you had Discord connected to Patreon, you should automatically have received an invitation. Now that this is done, you should be able to get notifications there and participate in the patron-only channel. But on top of that, we have emotes of the characters! Theo, Nauda, and Fiyu all have several different expressions for you to choose from. ^-^

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Chapter 21

Though Fiyu was too well-trained to allow anything short of an emergency to hinder her soulcrafting, no spirit was capable of constant focus. She found herself attempting to spend every waking hour in her soulhome, hiding from her thoughts within discipline.

She had essentially completed work on her temporary vestibule and only made slight alterations to its efficacy in order to appease Warden Tythes. Though she disliked the modification to Relative Guchiro's blueprint, its function was intriguing. Perhaps, under better conditions and his guidance, she might adapt a permanent feature along similar lines in the future.

That complete, she had been able to spend the majority of her soulcrafting time on work that she had uncomfortably skipped while preparing for the Chasm. The most fruitful was improving her gatehouse, which made her Soulsilver Bracers feel more comfortable on her wrists by the day. Once she had even left with Warden Tythes and located some silvery stone in the ruins, which matched the bracers enough to strengthen the gatehouse.

Less successful had been her attempts to tap some of the cantae within the mistheart. The sublime material was extremely powerful, and perhaps even appropriate for her blueprint, yet as an Archcrafter her soul struggled to contain it. She had attempted to build an enclosure with a single opening, but it only emitted a stream of pressurized cantae and risked damage to her soulhome.

Whenever she was exhausted, or particularly needed to escape other thoughts, she focused on polishing the interior of her barrier wall. Though she had refined the exterior to a dark sheen, in order to improve her stealth technique, the interior remained rather rough. It troubled her whenever she saw it, and in turn she believed that it slightly inhibited the flow of her cantae as it left her soulhome. Still, she was pleased that she had been able to escape the gaze of an Authority, even if it couldn't help them with Warden Tythes.

Recognizing that she could do no more work effectively, Fiyu left her soulhome and looked over the island. It had become quite familiar over the past days, so there were few places for her eyes to rest. She settled on the door, still impenetrable. Warden Tythes forced them to attempt it again daily, and they had recently made their way past two thirds of the lock, but it would likely require Friend Theo's ascension to open.

That thought drew her eyes back to the tent, and everything else.

Desperately she looked aside, searching for Warden Tythes as the greatest threat. He had pulled what she first feared was a spear from his chest, but it had been a harmless sublime metal. At the moment he appeared to be attacking the ground, which was slightly disturbing. The stone resisted, as it had almost all other attempts, but Warden Tythes eventually managed to stab the metal pole in deep, which was quite impressive.

Then he revealed a second pole, jammed it in a short distance away, and hung a hammock between the two. He lay down it it and sighed dramatically, only to grow uncomfortable a moment later and get back out to reposition the poles to suit his liking.

Unfortunately, his strange behavior couldn't hold her attention forever. Eventually Fiyu had no choice but to look back to the tent and her companions. Once more, the strange emotions swelled from deep within her.

Neither of them appeared to be troubled by their circumstances, not realizing how she felt to be alone in the tent with a valued companion and a trusted ally standing guard outside. Of course Friend Nauda was unaffected, since Tatians practically slept in piles. Friend Theo appeared completely oblivious, almost as asexual as an Ichili except without any discomfort with proximity or touch.

At first, Fiyu had attempted to ignore the feelings, since their environment remained dangerous. Yet the emotions were so strange... she felt such deep friendship with both of them, and a deep desire for something else, yet she was uncertain who to approach. Her relatives had told her that it was distantly possible that she would feel more than one potential connection at once, which generally led to heartbreak, but it was improbable in Ichili society.

The terrifying thing was that she didn't know how either of them felt, her senses completely incapable of determining their deeper emotions. From their musculature she was certain that both Friend Theo and Friend Nauda cared for and trusted her, but those were emotions that would be appropriate for a relative and did not require being lifemates. It was possible that they both intended to remain alone, or join with someone from their own world.

Among Ichili, the next step would be to discuss the matter calmly. There could be deep sadness when desires did not align, but none of the insanity she had seen in other worlds. Fiyu realized that she was fidgeting in her seat, unable to decide. She was unsure how to approach either of them, and even more unsure which one she wanted to approach.

In the end, she decided that Friend Theo had always been the most understanding. She could inquire about lifemate customs with him and he would inform her if she was committing errors. The idea of him reciprocating her feelings sent a tingle through her, but Fiyu suppressed the feeling until that night, when Warden Tythes had gone to sleep and Friend Nauda was on watch outside.

"Theo..." She waited until he looked at her, deeply shadowed by the tent, and forced herself to continue. "I would like to speak with you regarding lifemate customs between worlds."

All the muscles through his back and neck immediately tensed, showing such intense discomfort that Fiyu nearly fled. But she was held captive by the tent, and when he turned to her the muscles of his smile were stiff but not angry, so she forced herself to remain. "Can you be more specific? I know Ichili customs, but I... don't know what you're asking."

"Ordinarily, I would not experience these desires until I was older. My journey with the two of you may have forced me to develop more quickly." She suspected that it had been triggered by the wholly benign touch when they had saved her life, but felt that it would be unwise to state that for reasons she couldn't identify to herself. Fiyu realized that she had not truly answered his question and pushed on. "Regrettably, my relative is not here to guide me. I know that these matters are very different in other cultures and worlds, but I hoped to find clarity."

"I don't think it's easy for anyone, Fiyu. Emotions are a mess no matter who you are."

The way he said her name so gently sent a strange heat through her that Fiyu struggled to ignore. "I believe that it can be less so if you communicate clearly. Is it not appropriate to approach others to ask them about those emotions?"

Another smile, but the muscles around his eyes struck her as sad. "That's usually how it works, but you haven't really asked yet."

"I... I care for you very much, Theo. I would like for us to travel together, and perhaps one day we will be relatives. But I do not know if it would also be possible for us to be lifemates. Do you... how do you feel?" Those hadn't been quite the words she'd intended to say, but they had spilled out of her and they couldn't be taken back. Unknown Theo took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

"Fiyu... I want to keep traveling with you, and I'm glad I met you. But no, I don't think we should be lifemates."

"Why?" She sensed no anger in his posture, yet she still felt a growing pain of rejection that she struggled to contain. "Please explain."

"I was married once, back on Earth. That's our legal institution for 'lifemates', if it didn't translate well. But it didn't work out, and..." Unknown Theo paused and sat back, staring up through the tent, muscles in his shoulders tense as they usually were when he talked about his home world. "Her name was Mary. I didn't expect to have any relationships there, because I was so focused on getting back to the Nine Worlds, but she... got my attention. And we were happy together, for a few years, but... well, I think you can guess."

"I am not sure that I can. You believe you were at fault?"

"I actually told her about the Nine Worlds, indirectly. I don't think she fully believed me, but it says something about the kind of person she was that she didn't mock me. But in the end... I was more obsessed than I thought, or maybe it's that the obsession took over too much of my life. So the relationship became increasingly bitter and we separated."

Frowning as she tried to accept that concept, Fiyu pressed on. "But if you cared for one another, how could you harm one another?"

"Funny question, actually. I've thought about that myself." He was silent for a long time, muscles in his jaw working. "I think that we just gradually fell into unhealthy patterns. Small annoyances became arguments. We started digging into positions instead of reconciling. Eventually we decided we'd be happier apart, and... well, I think she was. We talked a few times after and it was honestly easier to get along when we didn't live together."

The ideas that Unknown Theo expressed were deeply troubling, and Fiyu did not want to place Ichili expectations on what was clearly a strange society. Yet he seemed so reasonable... she held all her emotions stable and asked one more time. "And this is the reason for your refusal."

"I'm old, Fiyu, much older than you. I thought I'd know who I was when I returned to the Nine and started a new life, but it's really the same life." Friend Theo extended a hand in her direction, a peaceful greeting gesture. "So I want to remain friends, Fiyu, and I'd be honored if one day you called me relative. But anything else would be unfair to you, because I'm not sure anyone deserves to be stuck with me."

Though she felt a moment of sorrow as a potential future slipped away, Fiyu found that she was smiling. She had been terrified that Friend Theo would respond in a confusing way, but he had been as gentle and understanding as always. Even if his world seemed strange to her, he had explained his reasoning. Some Ichili who lost a lifemate never found another, and she could understand this as similar. Above all, she was pleased that he cared about her enough to display so much consideration.

"You are unfair to yourself, Theo." She reached out and touched his hand, solely as a companion. "I am also very glad that I met you and hope that we can travel together for a long time to come."

When Friend Theo smiled, it moved more authentic muscles in his face, but she also observed a weariness sagging in him. "Then I'm glad we're agreed on that, but this sort of thing is exhausting to me. I'm going to try to sleep."

"That is fine, Theo. Rest well."

As she watched him settle in, Fiyu sat on her side of the tent, still overflowing with emotions. She could not imagine a kinder way for Friend Theo to decline her question, far from all her fears of incomprehensible emotional reasoning. This way, she could prune that potential future from her mind and focus on deepening the relationship they had.

It also immediately simplified the emotions within her... Fiyu crawled from the tent to sit beside Unknown Nauda.

"You just went and asked him, huh?" Unknown Nauda glanced at her, muscles oddly tense.

"Is that not appropriate on Tatian?" Fiyu asked. She found her gaze retreating from Unknown Nauda as all her conflicting feelings began surging in one direction. "I am... uncertain if you have lifemates there. So many things about your world are confusing, like... like sexmerchants and other strange things."

"Of course we have committed relationships. They don't sound quite as serious as the ones on Ichil, but most people want to find one person to love and stick with them."

"Oh. This is good."

"Are relationships on Ichil really that permanent?" As Unknown Nauda smiled, her muscles held both a wry weariness and a slight sadness. "You don't have people who decide they don't belong together, or just end up going in separate directions?"

"I have heard stories of such things, but have no experiences with them. Ordinarily, companions who wish to become lifemates spend several years traveling together before a final decision is made, to make sure that there are no mistakes. How are such things done on Tatian?"

"I'm... not sure you want to know."

"No, please tell me." Fiyu shifted closer to Unknown Nauda, closer than would be customary between companions. "I care for you very much, Nauda. Even though our worlds are so different, I am glad that I fell into Tatian so that I could meet you. Despite those differences... do you think that it would be possible for us to become lifemates?"

"You're really going to ask just after I listened to your first choice reject you?" Unknown Nauda's face contorted into controlled anger and Fiyu realized that she had made a terrible mistake. Even if she didn't fully understand, her insides twisted into a knot and all of the positive emotions became a horrible flood of confusion and distress.

"Nauda... please do not misunderstand me. I have never asked these questions before. I do not know how. I care for both of you deeply, so I was very confused. I only wanted to be sure I did not make a mistake and-"

"I think it's clear enough." Unknown Nauda rubbed her forehead, her entire body tense, and the negative emotions within her pierced Fiyu's heart. "I care about you too, Fiyu, but don't do this to me. Maybe I don't understand the Ichili way of thinking after all."

"Then... then you decline?"

"It obviously wouldn't work."

This refusal made Fiyu's entire heart ache, but more than that, it made her fear for her companion. "But... we are still friends?"

"We're still friends, Fiyu, but please just leave me alone for now."

Fiyu sat helplessly, drowning in the mix of her own terrible emotions and Friend Nauda's troubling response. This was the sort of confusing reaction that had so terrified her that she almost didn't speak. She believed that Friend Nauda was offended to be asked second, and though it had not occurred to her before, now it seemed obvious that something like that would offend a Tatian.

Causing Friend Nauda pain hurt Fiyu as well, especially because it had been so needless. Perhaps that was her answer. Even with the best of intentions, she could end up causing the woman she wanted as a lifemate great pain. If so, then perhaps she was unsuited for such a relationship, as she might only cause it to crumble as Friend Theo had described.

Just when Fiyu thought she could not be more miserable and humiliated, a voice spoke up from the other side of the island. "No, no, please continue." Warden Tythes sat up in his hammock, sweeping them all with a caustic glare. "We're in the middle of a dying world, floating on a death river, surrounded on all sides by enemies, with time running out along multiple axes. This is definitely the time for a lot of relationship drama."

A soft cry escaped Fiyu's lips and she retreated to the tent. Though Friend Theo looked toward her, offering support, she turned away from him and burrowed into her bed roll. At the moment, she needed no one else, or perhaps could tolerate no one else.

If her new emotions had only caused so much distress, she would cease to feel them. Fiyu stilled her mind and then shoved that part of herself deep within until she could sleep.

-

Chapter 22

Theo had expected to be angrier about the whole mess, but mostly he just felt bad for Fiyu. He could easily see how her mind had approached what she saw as a simple dilemma, only to fall directly into a social abyss. Ever since that night, she seemed to have suppressed all hint of attraction, and though he wasn't sure how Ichili worked hormonally, he thought that they could do so far more effectively than anyone on Earth.

His emotions quickly morphed into anger at himself for not having seen any of it coming. Now that he thought about it critically, it seemed obvious that a young Ichili woman traveling with people her own age might have entered this stage in life. In some way, he'd expected those matters to simply never come up, Fiyu and Nauda operating purely as soulcrafting allies. That was how it had gone during his first life, flirtation and awkwardness if anything. At least, until the end.

Within his soulhome, Theo froze at the uncomfortable thought. For the first time, when he thought about Brigana's final confession before her death, it struck him as immature instead of nostalgic.

If they'd survived, or if he'd returned in time to find her again, what would have happened? He forced himself to think through the idea that he might have ruined that relationship too. Though it might not have been the Nine Worlds, as it had been with Mary, he could easily have destroyed their bond with some other obsession. Maybe his ex was right after all.

Refusing had been a simple decision, for the reasons he'd given, but it surprised him how easy it had been. Again, he wondered just what his body was. He'd thought of it as returning to a young body, but he'd yet to experience any of the hormonal swings he remembered from Earth. Given that Ichili bodies worked so differently and his current body had been created when he arrived... perhaps it was wrong to make assumptions about what he actually was.

Not that it was relevant, with Nauda aggressively training in one direction and Fiyu quietly soulcrafting in the other.

Since he doubted that Fiyu would react positively to further engagement, he considered Nauda instead. Any attempt at explanation would likely go even worse with her, and it wasn't really his place to get involved. Still, as he watched Nauda... he had been oblivious to physical realities for so long, he'd almost missed a detail. The roots of her hair were coming in darker than her usual white blond. It might mean nothing, but given recent affairs, he tucked the observation away.

Part of him wished that he had some way of smoothing over the disturbance, while another part of him insisted that it was all irrelevant. Cold as it seemed, what really mattered for the time being was their ability to work as a team. Regardless of the argument, he believed that Fiyu and Nauda had the emotional maturity to work things out, given time.

Just as Theo was about ready to push the whole matter out of his mind, he saw Tythes walking across the island with his hammock over his head. He slammed the posts into the rock just behind Fiyu, then hopped up to perch behind her. Theo groaned and headed to intercept the conversation.

"So, you're experiencing your first little tingles of love." Tythes dropped his head into his cupped hands and sighed theatrically. "And such a heartbreaking way to begin! Shot down twice in a row... truly, your luck is even worse than mine."

"I cannot make you leave," Fiyu said evenly, "but I wish that you would."

"Oh, but I was coming to help you! Believe me, I am quite experienced in these matters. I may not be a worthy lifemate, but if you would like to practice on me, I-"

"Go away. I am not attracted to you and never will be."

"Cut to the quick!" Tythes placed a hand on his chest in feigned shock. "My confidence in my stunning good looks is utterly unshakable, but I'm offended that you didn't at least look me over first."

Though Fiyu had been uncomfortable with the entire conversation, now she stared at him in honest confusion. "I do not see how that is relevant. I do not know you well. You appear to be an unkind person. There are no grounds for any attraction to develop. Please go away."

To Theo's surprise, that actually worked, Tythes pulling up his hammock posts with minimal fuss and departing. Theo had been prepared to do what he could to shield Fiyu socially, but her cold exterior appeared to have been defense enough. She noted his presence and nodded with a slight smile, though he could see that her mood remained muted.

Understanding that she wanted to be alone, Theo instead followed Tythes. "Did you really think that teasing an Ichili was going to work?"

"Yeah, I actually did." Tythes stopped at the other end of the island to set up his hammock, then hopped into it with his hands behind his head. "The local Ichili are actually pretty easy to fluster if you bring up any sort of sexual subject. But I guess she's not from the Greater Dark. A pity, because I had a lot of lines planned to make this situation deeply, revoltingly awkward for everyone. It would have been wonderful."

Not having expected such a frank reply, Theo stared at Tythes longer than he'd intended. The Authority clearly delighted in causing chaos, but none of this interaction felt truly malicious. It was impossible to believe that he was truly as apathetic as he pretended to be, which suggested that he knew something important about the contents of the triangular building.

"My, you're certainly staring at me a long time." Tythes wiggled his eyebrows at him. "I'm much older than the Ichili girl, so maybe you're more interested?"

"Fine, I'll get back to soulcrafting." Theo turned away with a roll of his eyes, but the entire movement was forced. He hadn't realized that Tythes had been able to hear the entire conversation, even piercing the walls of Fiyu's tent.

Quickly going back over their conversation, Theo tried to calculate how much of a problem that could be. He hadn't mentioned Earth by name, but he'd identified himself as being from outside the Nine Worlds. His comment about his age might be inexplicable, unless Tythes knew more about that than he was letting on. In fact, the ostensible joke might well have been a threat.

Then again, the implication of being an outsider already hung over him thanks to Esaire's accusations. He wasn't sure if that could potentially be fatal, especially if someone like Tythes might contact organizations manipulated by Vistgil. But it hadn't been a problem yet, and the House of the Lost was supposedly formed entirely by people from outside the Nine Worlds. He didn't want to leave Norro Yorthin while it could still be useful to him, but if the risk increased...

Theo decided that this was all his own distraction. None of it mattered unless they escaped the Chasm of Lamentations alive.

~ ~ ~

Numerous different thoughts clamored to be the most irritating thing in Nauda's mind. The fact that they were trapped in the chasm and making little progress, of course. The incident with Fiyu. Tythes in general.

But the one she hadn't expected was the way that Theo and Fiyu seemed to simply leave the problems behind them. Theo arguably had justification, since he'd done nothing wrong and came out in roughly the same position. But Fiyu... it was downright strange how she simply seemed to revert to who she had been before, polite but cool. As if none of the confessions had ever happened.

Nauda's emotions had never been that tidy. It had been torture to listen to Fiyu expressing her feelings, then she'd been irrationally angry at Theo for his infuriatingly patient response, even if it was for the best. Overall, she had managed to convince herself that she could set aside her conflicted feelings... and then Fiyu had walked right out and asked her.

With time to think, Nauda thought she could understand it from Fiyu's perspective, it just didn't take away any of the sting. As if Fiyu had just wanted a fungible companion and intended to keep asking until she found someone willing to agree. Nauda knew better, trying to summon up memories of how long it had taken Fiyu to warm up to them, but the thought still ached.

The worst of it was that her own feelings crystallized just in time to cause her pain and do no one any good. If that night had gone a little differently, maybe she would have agreed. When she saw Fiyu brushing out her silky hair in the mornings, sitting so calmly and peacefully...

And Nauda had ruined that. Perhaps it was even for the best. The most basic expectations for relationships were so different between Tatian and Ichil that a relationship might have been doomed from the start. Even if they both had the best of intentions, they'd just end up constantly stumbling over the other's expectations. Given how utterly seriously Ichili seemed to take relationships, Nauda might not be able to live up to those standards and just end up causing Fiyu pain.

So she did her best not to think about it, futile as it was. Nauda stared down at the bricks in her hands, suddenly realizing that she had been mindlessly soulcrafting for some time. Thankfully, she was just lining a wall and her ingrained habits had served her well.

Her progress was a small comfort. Throwing herself into furious soulcrafting for so long, she'd nearly completed her third floor. Though Tythes taunted her endlessly when they went anywhere, he'd actually helped her find a number of useful materials. In particular a sublime rock he called lifestone, which emanated a warm strength that suited her soulhome well. There had been no time to integrate them deeply, but they filled her Ruler tier with more than generic cantae.

"Alright, once more!" Tythes called from outside her soul and Nauda left her work behind. He was gesturing for them all to approach the door again, which had become a familiar routine. "Get through it this time!"

Despite all her conflicted feelings, Nauda was able to step alongside Theo and Fiyu to attempt to open the door. The inscriptions lit up more quickly as they grew increasingly familiar with the door, but she felt their progress slow and knew that they'd fail. Yet again, a large portion of the pattern remained unlit. They'd never finished the remaining portion unless Theo stopped messing around and just ascended to Ruler.

That irrational anger again. Nauda did her best to swallow it and refocus.

"Ugh, why does this involve so much work?" Tythes dropped down to his knees, then slammed his forehead down into the ground with alarming force. The island itself actually shook and she'd have sworn that she heard something crack. When he rose up, only mildly irritated, it didn't seem to have been his skull.

"Your head looks pretty hard," Nauda said before she could stop herself. "Why don't you just break down the door with it?"

"That's a great idea!" Tythes ran head-first into the door, which gave a great metallic ring, and then fell back clutching his head. "No, it was a terrible idea! Curse your tricks, vile harridan!"

While he stormed off, angrily moving his hammock to the opposite end of the island, the three of them lingered. At first Nauda had wondered if Theo would find some trick to get around the entrance, but he'd said that it was a perfectly built lock. A large enough organization could open it easily, but in a dangerous space that only appeared once a decade, it was near impenetrable.

Fiyu walked away from the two of them to return to her soulcrafting. That hurt to think about, so Nauda focused on Theo instead. "I can't believe that the situation outside the chasm has held this long. It has to end soon, doesn't it?"

"That depends what the House of the Lost is trying to do." He stared upward, his eyes unfocusing as they tended to do when he used his new sense. "The darkness has been creeping north, and I don't think they had more strength to spare, so they're probably moving too. There are also more Strongholds making attempts, so they're getting impatient. They must have harvested all the sublime materials on the plain."

"Then our window to move forward with any kind of advantage is disappearing quickly, isn't it?"

"Yeah. I don't think we can escape Tythes, but... well, you can guess." Ever since the Authority had eavesdropped on them, Theo had been more circumspect, even inside their soulhomes. But she understood: Tythes could well turn on them as soon as he had what he wanted, so pushing forward might not benefit them.

As they returned to their work, Nauda glanced back at Theo again. The story he'd told Fiyu about his former wife sounded authentic, and it certainly made sense. Yet even then, when he'd sounded so much older than normal, she thought he was several people competing over one body. Most Tatians would have said he needed someone warm and caring to take care of him, but Nauda wondered if his match wouldn't be someone just as contorted as himself.

Or maybe all of them should forget about relationships, since they were obviously terrible at them. When their group was attacked the following day, Nauda was almost relieved.

-

I can't tell you how many people I've had ask me whether or not this series will have any romance. The subject seems to make some people riot, and I can already imagine the reviews of this book now. But the answer is that I intend this series to cover a broad span of these characters' lives, so it wouldn't feel right for them to never have any romantic relationships.

That said, I intend for this to be a fairly romance-light series. Some characters will end up long term relationships, but don't expect a lot of flings, melodrama, or major romance subplots. This is about as intense as it will get.

Anyway, their time on the island will be over next chapter, which will set off the climactic sequence of this book! I hope you look forward to it and enjoy the revelations to come. Pretty much every set of chapters in the remaining set will have a plot reveal.