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Ramble || How do I find a romantic partner/friend? [Introspective] [Quizzes] [8min] (Patreon)

Published:
2023-06-30 16:57:42
Imported:
2023-07

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I got a listener mail asking, how do I meet someone new for a romantic relationship?

Well... that's a complicated question to answer. Soooo many factors goes into starting a new relationship. But maybe we can start off with the basics...

You need to be a good friend before you can be a good partner.

Quizzes

I found these quizzes for introspection. They're fun to do, but remember they can only skim the surface of who you really are. The second one is brutally honest... uh, so be mindful of that. Also, I think they mostly want to advertise therapy. Still, it's good food for thought. :)

🔍 Do you know how to make friends? - psychologies.co.uk

"Meaningful friendships have the power to transform our lives. But making and sustaining our friendships is not always easy. How good you are at forging new social connections and what might be getting in your way?"

🔍 “Why do I Have No Friends?” - socialself.com

"There are so many different reasons that you might not have friends, but the good news is that there is always something you can work on to help find the friends you want. This quiz can help you to diagnose why you don’t have the friendship circle that you would like."

As for how to find a potential partners?...

My very simple answer is in my ramble. But tell me, where have you met your friends and lovers?

》Too shy to comment or critique? I'll close my eyes... Feedback for Skitty

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Comments

ReluctantlySane

I def make a lot of proximity friendships, that never really leave wherever I make them, work friends and things like that. I like to chalk that up to being rather low maintenance or self-sufficient emotionally if that makes sense. Like, when covid was in full swing and we had a lock down here for roughly two weeks, I was watching the scant long term friends I have, slowly decend into madness via group chat while it was just another holiday for me. That being said, those few friends I've known since highschool, but I only catch up with one of them on a semi-reg basis. Any weekend I'm not working, I will usualy spend a Sat night at his with his fam, dinner, drinks, movies, catch up with what my "nephew" and "nieces" are doing and crash the night, heh, they've literally said the reason they have their current couch is cause of me, lol.That fills my friend meter pretty substantially. Hmm, relationships..I find I can interact fine with someone, right up to the point, "I/they would like to get to know them/me in that way" flits across my brain, at which point said brain checks out and leaves me a stupid, :p. I...think..it has to do with a bit of rejection worry and a lot of fear of change, which is silly, because I would like to get into a relationship and I understand the root cause of the issue, but still don't do anything about it...huh, guess it's that change fear talking again..the human condition sucks sometimes huh? Thanks for the ramble Skitty, they're always great food for thought.

Hori

LETSSS GOO ANOTHER SKITTY DROP!!!

Sargoth

"How do I find a romantic partner/friend?" That begs the question what's a romantic friend? Is that like the friendzone of hopeless romantics?

skittykat
>>112056453

Lol, you know what I mean. But hmmm, romantic friend... yeah, eternal friendzone sounds about right.

Shaagy

After a bit of introspection I realized a few things about myself : a) I make friends by proximity but only if we share the same type of vibes, otherwise I'm way too standoffish and defensive to interact properly - so it's either day1 buddies into being actual friends after a few weeks or nothing. b) I don't know how to interact with people. Had to rewrite this part a few times because I was always backing up and going "wait, it's not just friends". It comes down to a few things like, idk often I should contact them - so I don't because I feel like I'd be bothering them or wasting time because surely they won't answer. Also very typical of me is not being able to gauge how close I am with another person so I overshare, which then leads me to being incredibly awkward and embarrassed. Typically that also means that I go full reverse and run, in a way, and drop off all contact. c) All attempts at having a "romantic friend" or a relationship failed at early stages due to rejection (crazy standards) or just me losing all interest (she expected me to suddenly pay for everything combined with long distance).