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Ramble: Skitty is Processing (Patreon)

Published:
2020-03-05 15:22:35
Imported:
2021-01

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Warning: Before you click 'Play', you should know that this isn't a happy ramble.

I recorded this a week ago, and I haven't exactly been feeling my best.

This is an emotional audio, and I wasn't sure if I was going to release it. Do you really want to listen to me ugly cry? Well, here's your chance. 

Balancing a full-time work schedule and keeping up with this hobby has been draining me. I work 40+ hours a week and then I come home to record. I love making audios and the community, but it's still a lot of time and energy that I don't save for myself. But I do it anyways because that's who I am. I find joy when I make other people happy. 

But last week, I hit a breaking point. I found more of my audios being shared without permission. In some cases, it was by people who I thought I could trust; listeners that were a part of the community. A community that I found joy in. And I felt hurt and saddened by the fact that there was nothing I could do to protect myself. The internet is the internet; you pretty much give up control of ownership once you hit upload. I know the rules. But it doesn't make me feel any less shitty. Especially when I've tried to see the best in people.  

While I've been dealing with my feelings, life decides to hit me with another brick in the face. I had to say goodbye to someone I loved last week. A forever goodbye. And I'm still grappling with those emotions. Work couldn't give me time off to grieve, so I've been putting on a smile and pushing through. Monday was the first time I've had the chance to sit down and reflect. Yesterday, I poured myself into work to distract myself. I’ll have something to share with you all soon.

So I'm a work-in-progress right now. Still sorting out my thoughts and feelings. 

But I just want to thank and hug those who have been supporting me, and just being wonderful people. Your positivity has given me a lot to be grateful for. I just want to reassure you that I will be okay. Skitty always bounces back.


[ Thumbnail art from Koisuru Harinezumi ]

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Comments

Ulius

I'm sorry you're going through such a tough time, Skitty. Take your time, don't push yourself too hard and know that you're loved by many. Including me.

Anonymous

Hope you feel better 🌹 take time to process

Anonymous

Take your time, we will always be here for you! Emotional health is very important! I'm sure everyone will understand. Big love and hugs! <3

lil_oppai

Life sucks, do what you have to do and “we” will wait till your ready.😌

Anonymous

My condolences for your loss. I lost my grandfather a couple of weeks ago as well and life doesn't feel the same at the moment. I wish you strength in the coming weeks. Take time for yourself and please be safe! I hope to provide some financial support whenever I get my life together myself. Thank you for what you do. 💔

Anonymous

That's awful, I am so sorry. My family had a similar loss recently too but I can't imagine what that is like on top of everything else. I hope you feel better soon.

Anonymous

hey skitty, I hope you feel better, if you need to take a break then do, we would all rather have you take a break and be happy then keep making audios and be a stressed kitty <3

Anonymous

I hope it helps you to know that there are many people that really appreciate you and what you’re doing. That said you shouldn’t worry too much about creating content and keeping up with expectations when you’re having a hard time doing it. I think everyone will understand if you take some time for yourself. Hope that makes you feel a little better and that you get better soon.

Anonymous

You maybe should take a pause, focus on yourself whatever the time it take, and comeback when you will feel better.

swampman9

I'm so sorry that you have been having such a difficult time, I really hope it gets better. You're persistence and resilience have always been inspiring to me. Through it all you maintained you're desire to make people happy, thats just amazing! sending hugs and headpats and whatever else you need <3.

Anonymous

Life often gets hard trying to balance many things at once and we often lose people we would not want to see go but life goes on even thought life may be bad now there is a time were life will be better going throught the bad things to get to that just makes getting those good times even better skitty if you read this just know life will be better for you and you have all of us to go through it with all the good times and bad.

NobleKent

Hey skitty, I'm a new patron but have been following you on YouTube and reddit for a long time. I hope that the struggles you have been having work out and you can feel nothing but joy for your art. Take your time to cope with these hardships, and try to remember the support and admiration that many in your community have for you.

Ryan N

Here’s to getting through this rough patch; Closure I think is real important and will take some time and so does some mental recovery. Sometimes you just need to take baby steps in life and readjust to new challenges. That work life balance is a bitch for sure, but it’s totally understanding for you to take a break from here and look at other happy Skitty things. Regardless I hope for the best and please take care :)

Captn_Dan

hey skitty, im honestly at a loss for words here im just so sorry that you've had to deal with this and then life hits you with more shit and honestly im sorry you've had to deal with this mostly on your own and i hate the fact that we cant do anything more than just send you well wishes , i just... really wish there was more we could do for you after everything you've done for us. so ill leave it at this before i trail off, ive said it before but take as much time as you need to get better, even if you bounce back fast just take a little extra time to heal up ok, and regardless of how long you need those of us who really care about you will still be here when you come back so take care and rest up ok?

Ghostware

Thinkin of you skitty ❤️

Anonymous

Dear everyone, please feel free to go over to their channel: -asmr- pentagon (search for: “cuddle and kisses with skitty and choose the faux videos”) and report all his videos. Skitty, you’re solid lady. You make good stuff and and an awesome personality. All you need now is time. Take a break, it’s cool, we don’t blame you for the shit that’s happening. This post is getting a little long so all I can say is it’s okay, you do what ever you need to do to feel better. P.s. to anyone whom it may concern I’m not a white knight and I’ll have your balls if you think I am. Peace

NekoWinters .

We'll always be here for you Skitty, take as much time for yourself as you need, you don't always have to be Momma Skitty to the community, it's alright to take some you time, we will always be here to support you no matter what!! You certainly shouldn't feel the need to sacrifice your health and well being for us. I promise we'll survive if you need a break, no matter how long, besides you've already done so much for us!!! ❤ *hugs super duper mega tight*

TeddyBearPaladin

Skitty. First of all. *big hugs*. Secondly, as you know, I joined your patreon just about 3/4 of a year ago because the source of skitty faps I had was being finiky. Since then I've grown to know and love you as a friend as well as your listener. I'm with you. Thick or thin. Fun and sucky. Easy and hard. I wish I could do more. Thirdly. You make a better point than I think even you realize. Your incredibly insightful point is that you started doing this because it was fun. Right now, it isn't fun. You're core reason for doing it isn't there. As much as I love your audios. As much as they drew me to you, I care more about skitty the person and her thriving more these days. If it isn't fulfilling its main purpose, don't do it. No one will fault you for taking a breather. And if they do, you've got a great community who are all in your corner who they can answer to. You then make a statement I have to say, logically baffles me. You say you have to push harder and become bigger. I think that's sadly more backwards than you realize. Nobody pirates the new Joshua Bevier movie, because very few people know who he is. But pirating places are plastered with a new Morgan Freeman or Chris Pratt movie. Because they are household names. I hate to be "that guy" but, the bigger you become, the more people are going to find it worth ripping you off. No matter what you choose to do, I know that I and the rest of the community are behind you 120,000%. We love you. The person. Not just your voice and the arousal it gives us. To the moon and back.

Thecriticofinnocence

Hopefully the weekend will give you some time to decompress and mourn properly. May your dearly departed rest in peace and know that, while some have come with daggers, most of us here only come to support, not to harm. And, if you feel a break is in order know that we will still be here when you return.

Richard Fenicks

Loves the Skitty. Is here for you.

Samwise Thebravee
>>33302011

I think the point is get big enough so people will recognize when you're ripped off, not avoiding getting ripped off, cause that's impossible to do anyway right ? Also get big enough so they can't hurt you, get so big that ripping content off will only make you reach out to more people. But no matter what I say or how things are, I wish skitty would always remember that she already reached out to so many and helped them ! I wish skitty could find comfort in that, rather than pushing for more. As Ander said, if it's not fun anymore, please don't push yourself skitty.

Gage Sykes

Skitty. Do not feel obligated to came back to us too fast. Take all the time you need until the storm of shittyness passes. I'm sure we will all be patiently waiting for your return/revival. In the meantime, take my *bear hugs*, *headpats* and *forehead kisses*.

Holdooooo

Don't know what to write, just wanted to show support.

Da_robblar

I'm bad at responding to these kinds of things. But here's what I'll say. It's okay to be upset, it's okay to be frustrated. Your situation currently isn't easy, it sounds very hard (I say sounds as I've not been in that kind of position yet). But you're doing the right thing, letting it out, and moving forward. I'm sorry to hear about everything. I'm happy that you will be okay. But don't force yourself to be happy if you're not there yet, that's not healthy either. I know you probably already have those that do it, but if you need someone to just listen, I can do that. But I get, you already go that, and that's awesome :) I won't chime in on how to stop stolen content or such, as I'm not any sort of expert on that, and you need to get those thoughts and feels sorted. Form that plan of attack when in the right mindset, no? I know it may not be plausible, but a few days vacation, or just time away, would be what I'd do. Not sure if that would help you or not, but it's what I'd do if I were overwhelmed and felt like life is shitting on me. ***The great people of your community will help you, we loves you 3000.*** I've heard happy Skitty, and thank you for sharing upset Skitty. I know you didn't do it for us, but that emotion is something personal and you shared it with us, your community. Also, if you need me to stab someone, give me a place, name and time, then consider it done.

Rob

[Yandere] You're asking for too much information. We're trying to make her feel better, not have her charged as an accessory. Just a name will be fine, the less she knows the better. I hope that this got at least a smile.

Jonathan

I'm sorry you're having a tough time. Sending you virtual hugs

Anonymous

I am so sorry to hear what you had to go through. I've been there having lost someone close to me and before being able to process anything you are thrust back into weekly life and expected to function like you always do. It was hard but I had the support of friends and family, which helped a lot. And you skitty have the support of everyone in this community, we are here for you. And please if you think it's too much take a step back from recording. Your physical and mental health are the most important things and should always come first. We understand if you have to take some time off to get better again. Please know this, we all care about you so much. I hope you get better soon and get you get the time to mourn. *big hugs* get well soon

Anonymous

I'm really sorry for what happened. I knew of ASMR for quite some time but I only started listening to roleplay ASMR about a week ago. I think you were the second or third channel I discovered then. I watched almost all the videos you had there and could only see one thing in them. The quality. That's the reason I decided to follow you, to support you. You said you joined youtube for a hobby, and this rumble shows it isn't fun anymore. Take a breather. I might be one of the newest patreon there and as such I'm probably not qualified to speak as your audience, but I think that on that point, a lot of people seem to think the same and the comments under this rumble shows this. Whatever you decide, I hope you will get better. (I'll also add that I really like your videos as I did not have the occasion to tell you that. I'll be working on becoming your n°1 fan, first in France, then worldwide ;) )

Slider17x

Really sorry you’re having to go through all of this. Sending the biggest virtual hug that my WiFi will allow me to upload. Take good care, Skitty.

Anonymous

Its cool to see everyone so supportive

livejoker

*adds my comment to the pile* I have a firm belief Skitty will never, ever fully realize the impact she's had on people including myself. I lurked GWA for years and it was Skitty's audios that got me interested in writing a script. I wanted her voice reading my words and I consider myself extremely blessed that she's done just that a few times. I'll write as long Skitty lends her voice and her know-how...her talent because, honestly, there's very few artists I feel I could latch onto. There's many that I enjoy, naturally, but so few make me want to BE a part of their community, so few make me want to EVOLVE with them. I'm so happy that I've helped grow the Skitty name (just a little) with Skitty's Cakery but it's her charm, her personality and her immense heart that made it what it is today, as well as all her other audios and interactions with her loving fans. It's Skitty who's shaped me up and made me happier. I hope the least that I can do is give back that happiness and support you've shown me, as well as the Discord server and the whole cumm....community! Thank you so much for everything. Here's to more scripts, more audios, more fun and more white walls.

Anonymous

Hi Skitty, I am sorry for your loss. I truly hope you're doing alright, despite the stressful situation you find yourself in. You briefly mentioned receiving support, and I just want to take a bit of your time to selfishly and genuinely say thank you for everything you do. I recently stumbled upon your youtube channel and was initially impressed by all the high quality content you've consistently been putting out. Combine that with your absolutely sweet and addicting voice, and I was sold on the spot. So far it's been nothing but countless nights of immediate blissful sleep. Once I then dug a little deeper, going down the rabbit hole and discovering the pure, holy and enlightening GWA collection, I was genuinely amazed at the variety of content and can only imagine the amount of effort that's been put into making, or rather building all of this. Patreon seemed like the easiest way for me to show just a little bit of support, so I joined the cool gang! However, seeing a post like this by such a wonderful creator is quite heart breaking, so I just couldn't help myself and I just had to say thank you so much for all you do!

Legendxz

First of all, i'm really sorry for your loss.Internet can be harsh at times and whoever did this to you doesn't deserve a place in here.I'm really sad about what happened.. i'm definitely not in the best financial situation to support creators but your content has really helped me the past few months get through some tough shit.I found you through your youtube channel and fell in love with your content.I wanted to support your work anyhow i could and will keep doing so as long as im able to.Most of your content i enjoy is free and i really don't care about exclusives.This small community you have is precious and there are many nice and kind people in there (discord/gwa).I sometimes lurk in discord after work just to find peace and maybe have a say with some lovely people.There's so much negativity in the world we live in and so many people looking to do harm to you or your hard work.Please take time if you need it i'm sure most of us wouldn't mind,don't overwork yourself. Stay safe and thank you for everything that you have provided for us and the community.I really wish i could do more, this situation just made me very sad *Sending hugs*

Halftime

I’m so extremely sorry for your loss. If your audios mean as much to your other fans as they mean to me, then you’ve shared something really special with us all. The fact that you’re trying to be positive through it all is so strong. Again, I’m so sorry for your loss and you’ll be in our thoughts.

Anonymous

I saw your Patreon email this morning and have been thinking about how you are doing. I am sorry this is happening to you. The reality is that there are so many people out there trying to take advantage of others. But I hope you know that you worth so much more than what they want to take from you. I love and respect you not only for your sweet voice and talents, but also for your bravery to do what you like to do. It is not right for people to take your recording and personal information without permission especially when you may not be able to be fully open with everyone close to you about what you do. Although I can only hear you and support you through your recording and email, I want you to know that I feel for you and I hope you take care of yourself. I’m also so sorry to hear about your loss. It’s okay to be upset and need time to process. I hear you. You are hurt and frustrated and feel like someone betrayed you. It may be so hard to trust people right now but I hope you trust me enough to believe when I say you are not alone through this. You are loved by so many. In the past few months you have brought so many heartwarming moments to me through your contents. You are loved not because of your contents and voice, but your kind soul. I wish you the best in this journey right now. It is hard right now, but this too shall pass. If there is anything I or others can do to help, please let us know. With love <3

Anonymous

Skitty, I believe you have every right to feel the way you do right now! But it wont help solve much, the best revenge is being very successful, and I cant explain how much your audios have helped me, I haven't had any relationships my whole life, yet you help me get thru that phase of my life. Dont let others ruin your beautiful work, they'll never be as good as you! Stay strong skitty and you'll channel will grow! Much love - anonymous

Legs

This makes me so mad! I don't understand how people can do this to eachother. Crying Skitty makes me cry.

lil_oppai

“When the word of love falls, pick it up and hold it higher”- life

Anonymous

God it feels so weird to write this, because I feel like no matter what I type, someone has already said it and whats the point of adding to the mass if you have nothing to add? However, I am so sorry for your loss and I'm sorry there are assholes on the internet and no real way to protect you and your work against said assholes, I wish there was something I could do to help, but since I'm not in a financial situation to support content creators there really isn't. All I can say is that your work, your time and your creativity is really appreciated by me and by a whole lot of other people. I sincerely hope you can get through this shitstorm you have been put in the middle of, and can come back and find joy and happiness in creating this wonderful content for people, because it does truly have an lasting positive impact on people.

Will Penney

We love you Skitty. My condolences for your loss. I wish there's was more we could do

Anonymous

Aww Skitty. That really sucks to hear things haven’t been going great lately. Being betrayed and having little time to grieve.. shit you don’t deserve that. You have given so much to us, I wish we could do more. We’re here for you. Do whatever it takes to take care of yourself.

Anonymous

Dear Skitty, Just know that there are people out there who you’ve never even talked with, that are thinking warm thoughts at you from across the other side of the world. Hugs.

Jarrod Wright

Please take all the time you need! We will be here for you!

HollowVessel

Even though this is days late, I want you to know you deserve better then this. I don't listen to 3/4 of your content (ie all reddit stuff you had and pretty much all the erotica) but I like what I've heard so far and I think your audios are still worth paying for. It sucks that they got stolen. Sending warm thoughts and digital hugs.