Ramble: Skitty is Processing (Patreon)
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Warning: Before you click 'Play', you should know that this isn't a happy ramble.
I recorded this a week ago, and I haven't exactly been feeling my best.
This is an emotional audio, and I wasn't sure if I was going to release it. Do you really want to listen to me ugly cry? Well, here's your chance.
Balancing a full-time work schedule and keeping up with this hobby has been draining me. I work 40+ hours a week and then I come home to record. I love making audios and the community, but it's still a lot of time and energy that I don't save for myself. But I do it anyways because that's who I am. I find joy when I make other people happy.
But last week, I hit a breaking point. I found more of my audios being shared without permission. In some cases, it was by people who I thought I could trust; listeners that were a part of the community. A community that I found joy in. And I felt hurt and saddened by the fact that there was nothing I could do to protect myself. The internet is the internet; you pretty much give up control of ownership once you hit upload. I know the rules. But it doesn't make me feel any less shitty. Especially when I've tried to see the best in people.
While I've been dealing with my feelings, life decides to hit me with another brick in the face. I had to say goodbye to someone I loved last week. A forever goodbye. And I'm still grappling with those emotions. Work couldn't give me time off to grieve, so I've been putting on a smile and pushing through. Monday was the first time I've had the chance to sit down and reflect. Yesterday, I poured myself into work to distract myself. I’ll have something to share with you all soon.
So I'm a work-in-progress right now. Still sorting out my thoughts and feelings.
But I just want to thank and hug those who have been supporting me, and just being wonderful people. Your positivity has given me a lot to be grateful for. I just want to reassure you that I will be okay. Skitty always bounces back.
[ Thumbnail art from Koisuru Harinezumi ]