Jaycee's Blog - Sun, Feb 4 (Patreon)

You know what's harder than getting testicles off a lunar bear? FINDING a goddam lunar bear. I've been at this undisclosed location for several days now and I'm terrified because there aren't a lot of hiding spots in this area. If Tarantina gets wind of the region I'm in, she could get there, start tormenting people, and probably find me very quickly. I'm just hoping that being so very far away makes me less detectable to Tarantina's magic, but...no guarantees. So I'm hurrying up.

The problem is that the next full moon is in about 3 weeks, which means I either have to wait all that time or find someone who's ALREADY identified a lunar bear and knows where it is right now. You'd think that's a crazy notion. I mean, who actually TRACKS lunar bears just for fun, right? Well it turns out that after being here for a few days, I met this Inuit angakkuq ("shaman") named Kaya. You might think that I met her in some kind of remote lodge on the edge of town, but we actually ran into each other at a local bar where she was so drunk that she thought I was Inuit as well. (In fairness to her, I did shape change to look Inuit, but I really don't sound like one.) One thing led to another, and whether because she was wasted or because I my tattoos give me irresistible charm, we ended up shagging like rabbits on too much caffeine back at her place. In the morning, we talked about our respective jobs. I said I was a truck driver; she said she was a shaman. Her "job" was to bless hunters before a hunt, though there was much more to it than that. She also communed with animals and their spirits, I asked her flat out if she knew a lunar bear, and dead serious, she said yes, in fact, she knew one. Not wanting to sound suspicious, I dropped the topic.

This was about two days ago. I gave a lot of thought about how to bring up the topic of hunting a lunar bear with Kaya. Finally, after much deliberation, I just told her the truth. I figured if she already believed in animal spirits, it wouldn't be a stretch for her to accept my history with faeries (and dark fae) as well as my quest for lunar bear testicles. So this morning, I told her the entire story.

You think she believed me? Nah. She thinks I'm nuts. But she's got no problems taking me to the lunar bear she's identified. She calls him Tulok. He's big and mature, and she thinks it's hilarious that I want to hunt him for his balls. I think she's pretty convinced I'm going to die in the process, which is a distinct possibility. I'm pretty sure if she thought I had a shot at winning, she wouldn't take me to him.

We're going to go look for him tomorrow. I'll write as soon as I get a chance.

If I survive.

--Jaycee