Drama Llama and other life issues (Patreon)

Real talk- how does one go on sometimes?

Like I really have to stop and ask myself this question a lot lately. Its not like I'm that down or anything but I can say that there's a remarkable feeling of existential dread hanging over me.

not that long ago I cut a person out of my life and that was a monumental herculean task for me. I'm afraid I'm going to have to do it again for another person.

Problem is this is an IRL friend.

A little harder to do in my opinion than to just ya know, block and move on.


Doesn't help that this person kinda was what sparked my big 3+ week long degeneration into dysphoric dystopia.

I think what's really hard for me in all this is knowing how I was judged by this person, knowing the standard that I was held to by this person.

Knowing that this person lets others walk all over them but I'm the one they ant-bully.

Accepting the reality that they're probably never going to change. That the good about them does not out-weigh the bad. That the bad is abrasive enough to my sensibilities that this person has damaged me-- probably forever.

Maybe that damage is a good thing? Maybe my comics would be more milk toast if I didn't have my jimmies permanently rustled?

But man it'd be nice to feel like I could fucking trust someone again. When you have someone who is like your best friend, a person who you've experienced some of their hardest times and your hardest times with, but you know that person is no longer who you once knew and that they've been someone else for a long time....

Yeah its rough. Its like the feeling of a bad breakup and a death in the family all at once.

Sorry for the downer, I've been hella depressed for the last few days. I'm tired of not feeling respected by people whom I've given my best years to. I don't expect to be worshiped, I just want to be loved.

Thanks for coming to my ted talk. May the tiddy be with you.