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I've lost quite a few family members in the last 2 years, pets and human family, today my grandfather passed. I respected him almost more than anyone in the entire world and he was one of my big inspirations to become self sufficient, to not be lazy, to get off my ass and do good for myself and others, which makes this all the more ironic to say that today was a very lazy, sad day for me.
I can't catch a break in the regard of losing people, its one of the things that suck about life and one of the things that suck about surviving in general. The longer you live, the more you see the people you love go. My grandfather was an amazing man, a self made man, wealthy with wisdom, deeply intelligent, tenacious and just a little bit proud, but not so in a way that was inherently pretentious.
I'm sad I didn't get to see more of him in the last months but with the lockdown and people not being allowed to visit nursing homes during these times.... my hands were tied.
I feel so worthless for not being able to go see him and I feel robbed of valuable time I could have spent with him. I'm angry, I'm sad, but I'll live, if anything I'll continue on because I know that's what he would have wanted. The man was one of the few people in my life to tell me he was proud of me, proud of my work, when so many others were not and this extends beyond art. We got along well because we had such similar values, we both truly valued the importance of providing people with entertainment (which without giving away too much about him, his job was literally selling people entertainment). One reason I love drawing for you guys is I feel like, albeit on a different level, I'm selling entertainment. It means so much to me that I can entertain you guys and I can only hope to entertain ten percent of the people he entertained in his prime.
Thank you all for giving me this opportunity to mirror my grandfather's work but in my own way. Thank you all for giving me the chance to be honest with you on this emotional level. Bless you all.