Scary Solar System Part 2 (Patreon)

 They say it only takes a few minutes to go crazy...

I got off the  bus at 3:38 AM, space lagged, tired and frustrated. Venusians seem to  get the whole small fry thing, know I came straight from Jupiter by just  looking at me.

Held up in a sleazy motel in the red light district for a good week. Blew some earnings on some hookers.

Finally got the courage to ask one of em why all the women on Venus were so damn pretty and why the hell the men were too.

"Its  in the air, literally. Its like a virus or a bacteria or some such  nonsense, mutates us. That's why we look like this. We vaccinate our  males cuz if we don't, they catch it and well they trade their banana  for a peach, if you catch my drift little guy" she snickered.

I  told her I didn't like being called little guy and that I was kind of  tired of hearing it all the time. She just kinda chuckled and said "Well  if ya don't get your shot soon, we'll be calling you something else"  and with that she gave me the most condescending wink.

I made my way to the closest clinic and got vaccinated that night.

Thought I was A OK too, spent a good few weeks hopping from place to place. Traveling with these little legs isn't very easy.

Finally  found a cheap enough apartment on the West district of New Vampshire  and settled in with a fake name and got myself a little part time job.  Didn't stop stealin tho, habit I guess. Kinda easy to duck off and hide  when you're yay big. Gravity is a huge relief here too, I almost feel  like myself again...almost.

Then I started waking up sick every day, cramps n stuff.

Caught  myself getting a little choked up at some soppy VR serial, so I traded  the damn thing in for some digibooks. Read a few of them, they made me  cry. Jesus what's happening to your boy?

Got an appointment with a  doctor about my cramps and stuff, couldn't get in right away; flu  season or some other excuse. They'll pass out those shots like candy but  the moment a guy needs something for his gut they turn ya away. Really  don't want to go another week feeling like someone's put my guts in a  blender...

Tried to have some fun with one of the girls at the  brothel and couldn't preform... if you pick up what I'm putting down.  Told me to find an acceleration chamber-- some kinda healing doodad that  speeds up your immune system or something and fixes your blood flow.  What could it hurt?

Found a facility with one of them  acceleration chambers on the east side of town, paid the fee and stepped  in. It kicked on like a god dang jet engine and before ya knew it, I  was snoozing.

Who knows how long passed before my eyes finally  popped open and I pulled the little lever and climbed out. Staff  standing there just kinda looked at me like they had just seen a  Jupiterian Slugsqiud.

Then I saw just what they were lookin' at-- my bod.

Melons  and a peach and not a banana in sight. I started swearin like a solar  sailor and you'd swear it was a chipmunk giving a sermon, not even my  voice was sacred and safe from this relentless barrage of bad karma.

Turns  out my blood type was the problem again. No cure, no reversal, nothin  can help. The infection shifts your chromosomes and does some junk to  your DNA, getting into the chamber just sped it all up...

Can't  possibly get much worse than this, I thought-- and I thought wrong.  Exile is here now. Asked a few gals at the brothel about me. He's on my  tail but he don't know I'm already half way to Luna.

Luna, now  that's my kinda joint. It might be small and the people might be  superficial as all get out, but man is the booze good and I'mma need a  whole lot of it to drown this bo--...girls sorrows.

Maxiz signing off.