The honest goodness truth (Patreon)

Im terrified.

This last time I got sick with what I think was flu/covid, defeated me in a way I haven't been defeated by a virus in a long time. Im older now and my health has never been great. Between 2020 and 2023 I put on about 40lbs of weight and my muscles were atrophying because of lack of exercise.

While ive lost a good portion of that weight now, Im just now getting my muscles back to where they need to be.

I'm scared guys.

My health isn't great, neither is my mental health.

Im afraid of a lot of things, not least of which is success.

I'm so afraid that I'll succeed that my brain makes it impossible for me to finish what I'm doing half the time.

Ive been going to therapy, and I am getting better. But I get this dreadful feeling when i finish a piece of art, will people like it, will they hate it? Will it make people have expectations of me?

I'm losing my mind.

I'm scared people will hate my art as much as Im scared they'll like it. I'm scared you guys will be disappointed.

I'm back on the wagon, working my ass off, and doing my best.

But between getting sick physically and mentally, I don't know what to do besides talk about it.

Ive kept a lot of this from you guys for a very, very long time.

I didn't want anyone pulling their support because they were afraid I'd just stop making art.

I didn't want anyone supporting me just out of pity.

Im a walking contradiction man...

Worst of all, working on my toy business nearly destroyed me financially and mentally.

I'm at the home stretch with it though, and hopefully you guys will see some of my toys in the near future, but it has little to nothing to do with this, drawing tsf stuff ect.

Worst of all in all this, is how many deaths in my life happened during the years of 2020 to 2024.

I wont go into detail as its too much, but...jesus. I'm so ate up about it.

I just sit back sometimes and cry... I miss some of these people so much.

So with that out there and in the open, ya girl is giving herself about 5 days to have some comics up and finished. Ive been drawing for 4 hours straight today and I intend on drawing for another 4 hours when I get back.

I don't deserve your patience, or your forgiveness, but I greatly appreciate it.