ARCHIVE: Armageddon Express (Patreon)

ARCHIVE: Armageddon Express

What is Armageddon Express?

It's a post-apocalyptic adventure/ comedy/musical/mystery with smart, strong women, memorable characters, bicycles, classic 80's hits, muscles, broccoli, goons, lots of four-letter-words that sound like obscenities, but aren’t, miles of desolate, depressing scenery, and more gritty, dusty, rust-covered TEOTWAWKI fun than you can stuff in a fallout shelter!

Confused? Think Mad Max meets Mama Mia! in a bar, they hook up, and nine months later their love child is Napoleon Dynamite.

Yeah, it's kinda like that.

Welcome to Wrecktown where fuel is sparse, metal is plentiful, and everyone is thirsty all the time.

Let's meet our characters…

Nevv, the Armageddon Express bike courier

A child of The Aftermath, Nevv grew up in the arid wastes of the Barren Sea region. Working as a courier for Armageddon Express, a parcel delivery service connecting Wrecktown with other settlements in the Barren Sea region, she spends her days pedaling across a region that was once completely under water. With legs like tree trunks and the aerobic capacity of a racehorse, Nevv rides her modded fat-tire bike over 100 miles every day as she shuttles mail and other small items across the arid wastes of the Barren Sea. It's a dangerous job filled with risk -- avoiding lawless marauders, massive sandstorms, and keeping the rubber side down. But, she likes the job, loves her bike and the daily workout, and relishes the solitude. Why? Simple: she hates people. A lot.

Klink, the Wrecktown mechanic

A broken world needs fixers and that's Klink, Wrecktown's mechanic. The great grandson of The Old Ship's chief engineer, Klink makes sure that Wrecktown keeps on running. It's not an easy job. Wind turbines need constant cleaning and oiling. Well pumps and moisture gatherers require daily maintenance. Hammering. Patching. Welding. You name it, he does it. Plus, he eagerly repairs any Wasterunner or Militia vehicles when they roll into town, gears grinding, transmissions whining, and pipes belching smoke. But, he drops everything when the town courier's massive quads wreak havoc on her bike, bending its frame or snapping its chain.Yeah, he's got a crush: Nevv.

Stork, the Armageddon Express dispatcher

"When the world is running down, you make the best of what's still around" and Wrecktown's serial entrepreneur, Stork, learned at a very young age how to make something out of almost nothing. The owner and dispatcher of Armageddon Express, he knows a valuable resource when he sees one. With the only reliable form of communication between settlements being person-to-person delivery, Stork's delivery service helps ensure that medical supplies, books, blueprints, seeds, news, and gossip are regularly exchanged between settlements of the Barren Sea region. So, when he first saw Nevv and her insanely muscled quads and calves, he immediately hired her, gave her a bike, and let her do what she does best: ride. Fast.

Ronch, the psychopath

There are very few well-adjusted people eking-out an existence in the Barren Sea region and Ronch is definitely not one of those people. In the time before The Aftermath, doctors would call her a psychopath. Strong as an ox, ruthless as a hyena, fast as a cheetah, and emotionless as a python, Ronch and her gang of barbarians prowl the wastes looking for their next victims. When she sees something she wants, she takes it. There is no law to stop her and only the Militia stands between her and the prize she most deeply covets: the people of Barren Sea settlements.

Brother Tripp, the Keeper

When you dine with gods, the leftovers themselves are a feast and so it is with everything that was not destroyed in The Aftermath. Brother Tripp knows this all too well. A member of the quasi-religious monastic order, the Hand of The Great Architect, he travels across the wastes searching for remnants of knowledge and technology from the time before The Aftermath. Known to the people of the Barren Sea region as Keepers, Brother Tripp pursues his order's mission with unbridled enthusiasm. A regular visitor to the settlements, he heals the sick and injured, teaches reading and writing to children, and combs through the piles of wreckage, trash, and debris that are in no short supply. Collecting objects both common and rare, Brother Tripp sends his most significant findings to the Order's monastery at the edge of the Barren Sea where they will be carefully repaired, meticulously cataloged and safely stored for use by future generations.

Armageddon Express

We go to the End of the World for you!