SDJ - The Prodigal Boyfriend Returns (Patreon)

Notes Before Listening

Hello everyone! Today's audio drama is a bit different compared to our other ones, as this scenario is meant to be considered canon to the events of Something's Wrong With Sunny Day Jack. We've worked closely with our Narrative Designer Biscuwuit to produce this audio drama, and as such, this will contain spoilers for Ian's route and will be a bit darker than usual. Please heed the following content warnings:

• Discussions of Mental Health, Trauma, Psychological Abuse, etc.
• Depictions of Low Self-Esteem, Self-Deprecation
• Mentions of Childhood Abuse
• Controlled Eating/Dieting

We request that any and all discussions regarding this audio drama be held in the comments section of this post or the Dark Chat channels of the SnaccPop Studios Discord server (in other words, please keep these spoilers outside of public social media). Thank you for your understanding, and we hope you enjoy.

Credits

Scenario by BáiYù

Writing by Biscuwuit

Editing by SgtSemiSauce, BáiYù

Ian Duff voiced by Ben Sinning

Audio Editing by Kay

Transcript

FX: Sounds of cars passing by on the street

Ian: Ugh, I forgot how bad the traffic here was... People drive bumper to bumper like it'll get them to wherever they're going faster. The air is crap too. Blech.

Ian: First place you move is always a shit hole... It'll be so good to get out of here and into a proper home, haha... I-I mean, if they say yes, right...?

# Someone bumps into Ian, cutting him off.

Ian: O-oh, shoot, I'm sorry! Sorry...

Ian: ... Why did I apologize when they're the one who bumped into me? *sighs*

Ian: ... Right then. Gifts. Gotta find the perfect gift. Something that says "I'm sorry, and I care about you," but also "Please move into a super cool beach-front property with me— I promise I can afford it." Something super casual like that.

Ian: ... No, no, nothing too decadent. I-I mean, it's been so long. What if they think I'm just rubbing it in their face... Oh God...

Ian: It's been so long though. I-I can't just get them something cheap. I need them to know I really was working! I-I was, wasn't I? I wasn't just screwing around— Wait, no, not screwing, I-I wasn't being lazy. I-I—

# Ian practices deep breathing techniques.

Ian: ... No. No, calm down. You can't get like this when you haven't even seen what's there. Focus, this isn't about you, it's about someone more important! Come on, pull yourself together Ian.

# Ian enters a store.

FX: Footsteps, background music, and people chattering

Ian: We have all day to browse. There's got to be something here I can work with...

Ian: Alright. So we have the deli. Don't think cold cuts will work. Home and garden— *snorts* Maybe someday, haha!

Ian: Flowers are too cliche. And they die easily too. What a way to apologize. "I love you! Here's a new chore!" No thank you...

Ian: Cards... Cards aren't gifts, but... They can never hurt. Balloons too, maybe?

Ian: Hmm... "Happy Birthday." Nope. Not their birthday... And I don't think... D-Did I even get them anything for their last birthday? I-I think I did, right? Shit...

Ian: "Get well?" Come on, that sounds so offensive! Get well from what? Being abandoned? I might as well bring them a huge middle finger balloon.

Ian: "Wanna be my Valentine?" Mmm. Out of season and tacky. No thank you, I'm in the dog house enough as it is.

Ian: Tch— Nothing here is going to work! If I order something in, it won't be as personal...

Ian: Really, should I even bring an apology gift? I doubt anything I could offer could make up for being such a shit partner...

Ian: ... No. If I give up now, then what will all that have been for. Everything I did, I did it for us, right? How can I just say I'm fine with there being no us then? They'll understand when I show them everything I've accomplished...

Ian: ... What would be proof enough, though?

Ian: Maybe... A new phone! Or how about some wireless headphones? Maybe I could buy a 4K TV for the apartment! We've never had a new TV before. I could say it's for watching movies, and snuggling up like we used to..

Ian: No. For that much I could have just bought a ticket home sooner... Dammit. I don't want to have to feel like I'm bribing them.

Ian: "Here you go, a brand new TV from your generous and totally not an asshole ex-boyfriend who left you to go to school abroad and fucked his producer! Now, will you forgive me? Pretty please?" Gross. I'd look like a bigger prick than I am already, and that's quite the feat.

Ian: ... I want to be sincere this time. I want this to mean something. Something big is going to backfire on me. I should get...

Ian: Of course. Why didn't I think of it before?

Ian: Something smaller! The best things always come in small packages, so why not give them something sweet but more modest?

Ian: ... Maybe a keychain? They can take it anywhere they want, but none of these designs match their tastes. Teddy bears, hearts... Isn't there something more generic? This looks like something I would give to a coworker as a secret Santa gift. Yuck.

Ian: ... Stickers? They could paste them wherever they want! In a notebook? Although they don't study anymore, right... Behind their phone? In... actually, maybe that's too cheap...

Ian: ... Fuck.

Ian: All of this stuff is probably going to end up in the trash or some dusty box in the corner. Big, small, it's a lose-lose situation for us both.

Ian: ... Fuck it. Diet be damned, I need a snack, now.

# Ian walks to the candy aisle.

Ian: Oooh... God, it's been so long since I've had actual candy. Just gotta make sure to keep the wrappers out of sight at home...

FX: Candy wrappers rustling

Ian: ... Am I overthinking this and playing mind games with myself? This shouldn't be so hard, it's just a gift. We've exchanged plenty of gifts! Paper cards, crappy macaroni art, rubber bracelets...

# Ian grabs a bag.

Ian: ... Maybe I just won't bring anything. Maybe I'm just going to make it worse... I don't even know what they're into right now. I-I could buy the completely wrong thing, and then they'll really know how out of touch we are.

Ian: ... We can't be that out of touch, right?

FX: Candy wrappers rustling

Ian: AH! No way! Coconut-lychee jelly cups?! Are these on import?! Ahhhh- I haven't seen these in forever!

Ian: All that sugar content, though... Can I really eat something like this? I have to fit into my costume, and they'll notice if I gain any weight...

Ian: ... But they make me happy. They used to make us happy...

Ian: ... I miss when it was so much simpler. When did things get so tangled up and hard to manage? There's got to be a compromise, or something...

FX: Bag crinkles

Ian: ... Wait, that! Hold that thought! Why didn't I think of that before!?

# Ian sets down the coconut-lychee cups and walks away.

Ian: A fruit basket. That's practically perfect! What says I love you without being cliche, I'm sorry without mourning, I've got money without bragging, and I want to treat you without causing me to skimp on my diet? It's the ultimate gift!

Ian: Here, this one's an organic basket.The arrangement looks amazing... fuji apples, shinko pears, cara cara oranges, and even dragon fruit on top!

Ian: I'm sure they'll love it. It's a beautiful gift to have, and I've never been able to get them something so nice! And since it's fresh, they'll have to eat it and think about how much I love them!

Ian: How cute would it be? Seeing how much I care by giving them foods that nourish their body, but are just as sweet as they are too me~ Maybe I'll even get to cut up the fruits for them? Just like a proper spouse would~!

Ian: Well... Maybe not SPOUSE. I-I don't even know where we stand yet! I'm getting a little excited. I mean, how long has it even been since we last met in person?

Ian: ... It's too much, isn't it. ... You fucking asshole...

Ian: This is something mom would have done. Anything to keep someone around, except without actually changing. Do I know if I've really changed at all...?

# Suddenly, Ian knocks over something. Apples scatter to the ground.

Ian: A-Ah, fuck.

# Ian picks up the apples.

Ian: ... Hah... I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree...

Ian: ... Or maybe it does. What would that bitch ever have known about love? I know what we have is real. And I'm willing to go to these lengths and more. She never would have been so selfless...

Ian: ... Yeah. No, this is different. I'm not thinking about anybody else but them. Everything I've done has been for them, and everything I have planned will be what's best for us.