Apocalypse Tamer 63: Man vs Dance (Patreon)

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“So if I understand correctly…” Basil put his finger on the Louvre’s location. “The UNESCO dungeon is located under the pyramid? Like a basement?”

“More like a necropolis,” Elsa explained. A map of Paris covered the bar’s counter, and the Japan Expo survivors were only too happy to scribble useful notes. “An Outlaw pal of ours, Abdel, broke into it. He reported that the place is at least seven floors deep. As for the pyramid upstairs, it’s as large as an Egyptian one and surrounded by a large army of monsters.”

“How did your friend manage to infiltrate it then?” Vasi asked.

“Through Paris’ Catacombs.” Elsa pointed at a site in the south of Paris. “The old underground tunnels lead to the buried UNESCO building… if you can get past the hordes of undead inside and reach the right quarry, that is. You can’t take two steps without fighting a skeleton.”

It was a good thing that Basil had taken a level in Deathknight of the Sepulchre then. He would send ghosts back to their graves, whether they liked it or not. “Do you know how we could contact this Abdel?” he questioned the Parisians. “Any help would be welcome.”

“Sorry,” Elsa apologized with a sheepish smile. “We lost contact with him after we left Paris. I don’t even know if he’s still in the city.”

“Didn’t Johnny keep a map of the catacombs?” her teammate asked with a frown.

“Oh right, I forgot about Johnny.” Elsa nodded. “Yeah, one of our teammates is into ghost rituals and occultism. I think he kept a map of the catacombs, but it won’t be up to date.”

“Is he a Witch?” Vasi asked curiously. “Our coven is looking to recruit.”

“He’s an Occultist,” Elsa replied. “Does that count?”

Vasi sighed in disappointment. “No.”

“We’ll find someone,” Basil reassured his girlfriend. “And we’ll buy your map.”

“Eh, I think Johnny will give it for free,” Roxie replied with a shrug. “It’s not like he’ll have much use for it anyway. We ain’t returning to Paris anytime soon.”

Basil hesitated to mention Leblanc’s plans to take back Paris. The general had asked that the party try to conquer a dungeon so he could teleport troops there. Attacking the Louvre Pyramid made the most sense so far. Taking it over would allow them to kill two birds with one stone, as it would neutralize a member of Dismaker Labs’ board and let them establish a permanent foothold in the city.

But first, they needed to locate Kalki. If the musician intended to visit the UNESCO building, then they should find him in the Louvre’s vicinity.

Elsa ran a circle around the Eiffel Tower and Paris’ western edge. “This was the Apocalypse Force’s turf before we left Paris. The Eiffel Tower dungeon, the Trocadero, and Boulogne. No idea if they’ve managed to keep the area since.”

“What about Versailles and Notre Dame?” Basil asked. “You said there were six dungeons in Paris.”

“When the apocalypse started, yes, but the numbers shrank since. Notre Dame was under Pluto’s control when we left, while Versailles and the Arc de Triomphe were contested by both factions.”

“Pluto’s got the most dungeons,” Roxie said. “That makes him the guv’nor by default.”

Basil observed the map closely. The various dungeons formed a bulwark around the Louvre. The Eiffel Tower and Triomphe covered the west and north sides, while Notre Dame dominated the city’s eastern part. There was no way to approach the pyramid without encountering resistance somewhere.

The catacombs looked like the best option for now. It would let the party bypass the lesser dungeons and strike from an unexpected direction.

“What about the local monsters?” Basil fished for information. Vasi smiled at him, but said nothing. “What are the levels, the types? Any elemental weaknesses you’ve noticed?”

“Lots of undead, mate,” Roxie replied. “Bugs, sphinxes, and rock things too… Most are weak to water and light. As for levels, their levels upgraded beyond level 20 after the Incursion. Paris is a tough place.”

“Oh, I forgot to mention it.” Elsa cleared her throat. “Pluto has a Perk that affects the entire city.”

“God-Field?” Basil guessed.

“You know of it?”

“We’ve encountered foes with variants of this power, but the effects are unique to each individual.” Basil started to scribble notes on the map as Vasi finished her second drink. “What are the elements it affects?”

“It empowers Soul, Corrosion, Fire, Earth, Darkness, Mythic and instant death effects, if I remember correctly.” Elsa scratched her cheek. “It weakens Wood, Water, Light, and most importantly, healing effects. You should stock up on potions.”

“Oh, and the field raises everyone who dies within its range as a zombie under Pluto’s control,” Roxie added with a snort. “You better burn monsters’ corpses after you’re done with them.”

“Or eat them?” Basil suggested.

The two Parisians exchanged a glance. “I, uh…” Elsa chuckled. “I suppose that works too.”

Basil vowed not to let a single steak escape. “Thanks for your help,” he said as he folded the map. “We’ll keep in touch.”

“I’ll ask again.” Elsa frowned at the couple. “Are you really sure you want to go to Paris? Anyone still inside is either dead, fled, or part of a gang now. If your friend went to the city…  I doubt he made it out alive.”

“I’m pretty sure he did,” Basil replied. The world hadn’t been crushed by Shiva yet, after all. “We can use a tool to locate him.”

Roxie shrugged. “Your funeral.”

“But be sure to return to Limoges if you make it out alive, guys,” her teammate said with a warm smile. “We could start a Berserker Anonymous club.”

“Yes, sure.” The class’ mention made Basil wince. “About that… Why did you level up so much in Berserker? I would understand if you were a solo act, but aren’t you putting your team in danger?”

“Yeah, it took us a while to learn to stick to the rear,” Roxie said with a deadpan look.

“Ah, it’s not that bad…” Elsa chuckled in embarrassment. “We mostly struggled with our formation in the early days, but I figured that higher level Perks would mitigate the downsides of the Berserk ailment.”

Basil’s eyes widened in curiosity. “Did it?”

“Yep!” Elsa grinned ear to ear. “The Berserker level 13 Perk, Anger Management, grants immunity to mental ailments like Charm or Madness… and most importantly, it allows me to tell friends from foes.”

“She still does stupid shit while Berserk.” Roxie chuckled. “But I don’t know if it’s the class or just her in general.”

“I’m not dumb, I’m simple,” Elsa protested. “I attack the closest enemy in sight until it’s dead, that’s all. Sometimes that’s not the best option, but how do you expect me to think rationally when everybody looks like a spider Nazi?”

“What’s a Nazi?” Vasi asked in confusion.

“A vicious idiot,” Basil replied. And here he thought his goblin obsession was unhealthy, but spider Nazis? This girl had issues.

“Yeah, I think I played too much Wolfenstein…” Elsa fidgeted in place. “Anyway, how about we share build information? I was considering taking levels in Tamer with all the cave bears running around the city.”

“I still say an auroch would be a better mascot for the band,” her teammate replied. “Bears don’t have horns.”

“But bears are cute and fluffy,” Vasi argued. She never missed an opportunity to defend her favorite animal. “And they can dance.”

“I know, right?” Elsa chuckled. “Roxie’s just salty that we outvoted her.”

“Like all geniuses, hindsight will prove me right,” her teammate deadpanned. “Bear pop is overrated, auroch funk is eternal.”

Basil wondered if he should transform into a werebear to support his girlfriend’s argument, before deciding against it. Shapechanging in a bar full of monster hunters might not be the best idea.

The two groups exchanged class information and split up afterwards. The Parisians returned to their table to drink in peace, whereas Vasi led her boyfriend to the bar’s dance floor. Bards played a catchy medieval ballad on loudspeakers. After some reluctance, Basil put his hands on his girlfriend’s back as she leaned against his chest; both settled in a slow, steady dance.

“See, you’re not that bad,” Vasi teased him. “I dare say, we might make a passable dancer out of you in a few years’ time.”

“I’m only going along with this because you asked,” Basil grumbled. Even then, he mostly let his girlfriend take the lead. He had never felt comfortable with dancing in a public space, and the ground floor was crowded with other couples. “Don’t make it a habit.”

“I’ll let you pick the activity next time.” Vasi’s arms moved around his neck. “I can tell your heart isn’t into it. You’re still thinking about Paris, aren’t you?”

“Sorry,” Basil apologized. He wanted to be present in the moment for his girlfriend’s sake, but the discussion with the Parisian party had raised too many questions. “I’m just trying to figure out what equipment we’ll need. Flashlights for catacombs, anti-undead weapons, and I should probably learn a water-elemental rune to empower everyone.”

Vasi smiled at him. “What happened to the real Basil?”

He raised an eyebrow in confusion. “The real me?”

“First you make plans for battle, and now you prepare a dungeon diving operation days ahead with great forethought.” Vasi winked at him. “Where’s the wild bull running into battle after making a blood oath to his ancestors?”

“He outlived Kuikui and Orcine, learning his lesson: that luck is no substitute for preparation.” A lesson Basil should have taken to heart earlier after the battle with Steamslime, for his team’s sake. “That kind of disaster won’t happen again on my watch.”

“Never say never, handsome. Nobody can tell what tomorrow will be made of.” The song’s tempo slowed down and so did their dance. “I suppose you’re reconsidering taking levels in Berserker?”

“No,” Basil replied softly. “In fact, I’ll probably abandon the class entirely.”

“Oh?” She raised an eyebrow. “Why’s that?”

“Because I don’t want to rely on anger to win my battles,” Basil admitted. “Even if I obtain a Perk to manage the side-effects, it won’t solve my issues. It’ll help me suppress them, that’s all. I would rather move on. To change.”

“You already have, Basil,” Vasi replied softly. “You’re far more grounded since the first time we’ve met. More self-reflective, more considerate. Less bitter too.”

“Less bitter?” Basil scoffed. “We’re bums who have been eating shit all day for weeks.”

“Yes, but still, I can tell that you’re happier than before in some ways. A few months ago you didn’t even want to leave your house to meet other people, but now you’re in a bar with a beautiful girlfriend and becoming buddy-buddy with strangers. And more to the point…” She looked into his eyes. “You’re enjoying a social activity.”

Well… Basil wouldn’t go that far, but she had a point. He had been extremely wary about other people even before the apocalypse began due to the mess with his family, work life, and René’s inheritance. His social circle didn’t extend farther than Plato, but now he was on cordial terms with a French major, an interdimensional merchant, and even a god in human form.

Basil wasn’t certain if it was for the better, but he was definitely becoming more sociable.

“Maybe it’s because of you,” he teased his girlfriend. “You’re rubbing off on me.”

“Oh, I would love to gloat about that success,” Vasi replied with a laugh. “But it runs deeper. You put more thoughts into your actions rather than reacting.”

“I admit that before the apocalypse, I was feeling…” Lost? Confused? Basil struggled to find the right word before settling on one. “Aimless. After I failed to find my place in the world, I had no idea what to do with my life besides living in my little corner of the earth.”

“And do you know what you want to do, now?”

“Sort of.” Basil’s ambitions didn’t extend farther than stabilizing the world enough so he and his friends could live in it peacefully; he had no idea what he would do with his life afterward. “I feel I’m on the right path.”

“I understand. Do you want to know what I think?” Vasi didn’t wait for him to answer. “Deep down, you like to help other people.”

Basil chuckled. “I won’t turn down someone in need of help, but to say I like it…”

“Basil, Basil, don’t play coy with me.” Vasi shook her head in disbelief. “I saw your expression when you left the clinic. You were happy to heal the sick.”

“Oh, that’s nothing,” he brushed her off. “It was just to secure supplies.”

Vasi rolled her eyes. “Basil…”

“All right, yes, I liked it,” Basil admitted. “I like feeding healing juices to senior citizens. Happy now?”

He felt a few dancers looking at him strangely and ignored them in turn.

“Poor choice of words,” Vasi commented with a grin. ”But I’m glad you’re starting to become more honest with yourself.”

“How about you then?” He returned her smile. “What’s up with the glamor? Shouldn’t you be honest with me about it?”

“Ah, you’ve cornered me.” Vasi sighed. “I suppose I owe you an explanation. I’ve run afoul of witch hunters in my world the few times I visited human villages.”

“Because you practiced magic?” It surprised Basil. From what he had heard, Vasi’s homeworld was full of magic and wonders. Witch hunters should feel out of place in that kind of environment.

“No, because I’m a hag on my mother’s side.” Vasi let out a sigh. “Long story short, my maternal family hasn’t exactly been getting along with mortals.”

“What did they do?”

“You know, the usual: baby abduction, slavery, maiden sacrifices… Many of us have tried to turn over a new leaf, but there’s a lot of history to make up for. And my father is a demon. It doesn’t inspire much confidence.”

“So even if you haven’t done anything, you were treated as suspicious for what you are.” Basil quickly put two and two together. “Is that why you asked Patrick about why this city hasn’t made peace with goblins? Because you saw a little bit of yourself in them?”

“Yes. Can’t say I didn’t expect his answer.” Vasi shrugged. “But I’ve learned to live with it. A glamor is cheap and will spare us both a witch hunt.”

“That’s not entirely the same, but I see where this comes from. I’ve faced prejudice too in the past.” A lot of western Europeans seemed to have a radar for easterners like Basil, and never missed an opportunity to explain to him how Bulgarians were either crooks or thieves. He had gotten into quite a few brawls to defend his country’s honor. “But you don’t have to fear anything.”

“Because your people tolerate hags?” Vasi mused.

“Because I’m with you,” Basil replied kindly. “Nobody will lay a finger on you so long as I’m around.”

Vasi blushed a little. “Oh, sweet talker you. You may not have the paladin class, but you do sound halfway like one.”

“Isn’t that a bad thing?” Basil scowled. “I thought you weren’t a fan of them?”

“I’m not. Half the Paladins I’ve met say sweet words to get laid, not because they mean them. The other half simply draw their swords and ask questions later.” Vasi thought for a second as the song slowed down. They had almost reached the end of this dance. “Paladin may not be the best term, true… you sound knightly. You speak little, but only because you mean every word you say and you back them up with actions. That’s what I find endearing.”

“I do have a knight class, gotta live up to the hype,” Basil replied with the same tone. “I don’t think I’m the only one who has changed either.”

“Oh?” Vasi raised an eyebrow, her gaze playful. “Do tell.”

“You’re invested in this quest too,” Basil pointed out. “I think you like it too. The adventure, the travels… saving people.”

“I do admit it has its moments.” The song came to an end, and bards started arguing over the next tune. “Is it over already?”

“Another dance?” Basil suggested. He was actually starting to enjoy it, though he would never say so out loud.

“No, I’m satisfied,” Vasi replied as she moved her face close to his own. “I had something else in mind.”

She leaned in and kissed him on the lips.

Basil pulled her closer until nothing separated them. Vasi’s skin felt good against his, and her hands stroked his hair as if she owned it. A jolt of electricity ran through his body as their lips met, alongside a shiver of pleasure. It had been so long since he had kissed a girl on the lips, but he had never forgotten the taste, the warmth, the comfort… for a few seconds, he forgot the crowd around them. Paris, Kalki, the Apocalypse Force, and Metal Olympus, none of them mattered.

The world stopped at her.

Like all good things, the kiss was over way, way too soon. Basic mortal needs—like breathing—forced Vasi to pull back. She was blushing almost as much as he did. Basil had watched her kiss another knight in Château Muloup to charm him… but this time, it meant something to her.

“Nice,” Basil whispered with a pleased smile. “But Christmas is next month. It’s a bit early for surprises.”

“I’m terrible at counting time, Basil,” she joked back with a coy grin. “How about we continue this in a more private place? Like the toilets? Nobody ever thinks of the toilets.”

“Our car isn’t that far,” Basil teased her back, thinking of the Steamobile. “It would be warmer, and we have a TV…”

“I don’t think we’ll need—” Vasi stopped herself, frowned, and checked her dress.

“What’s the matter?” Basil asked in confusion.

“An emergency.” Vasi sighed as she brought a small crystal skull from her pocket. The device trembled like a mobile phone’s alarm.

Walter was calling at the worst time.

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“Basil, Vasi, how good to see you again.” Walter nodded at the couple as they teleported into his shop. Neria Elissalde, who was already present, welcomed them with a smile. “I apologize for calling on such short notice.”

“You didn’t catch them at the right time, chief.” Hagen straightened up at his employer’s side. The neurotower loomed behind the shop’s counter, tall and terrible. “I can tell.”

“It’s all right,” Vasi whispered without truly meaning it. She was no happier than Basil at having their date interrupted early, but the situation required their full attention. “I suppose you finished analyzing the server?”

“I did and gathered you here to discuss my findings.” Walter smiled at Basil, a gesture that sent a shiver down his spine. Somehow, Walter Tye managed to make even the most innocent gesture look menacing. “But first of all, let me congratulate you on taking a level in Deathknight. Excellent choice.”

“I don’t know this Sepulchre variant,” Hagen noted. “What does it do?”

“It made my halberd super effective against undead,” Basil replied bluntly.

A short silence followed his declaration. Walter’s smile faded away in disappointment. He didn’t look amused, at all. Hagen’s reaction to the news was more lively. He exploded in laughter and swiftly collapsed to his knees.

“Disappointing,” was all Walter said. “Truly disappointing.”

“I’m sorry, chief, I’m…” Hagen held his armored chest. “Ahaha!”

“How can he laugh without lungs?” Neria asked with a confused frown.

“Ignore him,” Walter replied dryly.

Well, his happiness didn’t last long, Basil thought. Then again, he’s a necromancer. Must be sad to see a client turn in the opposite direction.

“Good to see you again, Neria,” Basil greeted the Major. “Did you receive my latest report?”

“I did.” Major Elissalde smiled ear to ear. “The General was extremely happy when I forwarded it to him. That’s one less member of Metal Olympus to deal with, and if another is indeed in Paris, we might eliminate most of their leadership in quick succession.”

“We should reach Paris in a few days,” Basil warned. “I’ve got a few requests for elemental weapons, if you can satisfy them.”

“I’ll see what I can do,” Neria promised before turning to face Walter. By now, Hagen had regained his composure and was back on his feet. “In fact, perhaps we should discuss the essences you gathered with Mr. Tye over here? Did you inform him?”

“I am aware of your recent victories,” Walter replied. He must have read their minds already. “The details you’ve gathered should complete my findings.”

Basil crossed his arms. “Did you figure out how the server works?”

“I have studied your device, yes.” Walter scowled darkly. “Unfortunately, this confirmed my hypothesis. Your world’s System functions similarly to mine, which is not a good thing.”

The necromancer marked a short pause, as if trying to find the right way to sugarcoat a difficult truth.

“What do you know,” he asked, “of the soul?”

More than I want, Basil thought. And less than I should.

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