Happy New Year (Patreon)

Hey guys. So, I'm just gonna say it-- I've been struggling this past year. It's weird to say that because for most of it, I didn't even realize it. I guess it was such a gradual progression that I just sort of got used to feeling complacent. I appreciate how transparent I can be with all of you, so I do want to share some things that happened last year (this is where you can stop reading if you aren't interested in my personal life lol skip to the end for the BTS of this set).

• Shortly after my birthday, my sister had to make the difficult decision to lay to rest her 18 year-old pomeranian. We chose to do so in my home, which allowed us to have a special last day and memorial with her. I love my sister dearly, and this fur baby has been part of us for more than half of my life. I had mentally prepared for a while to be there for my sister when this moment came, but I forgot to prepare for the effect it would have on me. We revolve our lives around our animals, they are our world. This was a crushing experience, but (as loss will do) it's gifted us with greater appreciation of life and our remaining furry children.
• About a month later, my fur baby (in many photos you've seen as well as the last photo here) underwent ACL surgery. While she has since fully healed, it was an incredibly long recovery period for a 13 year-old doggo.
• A few months after that, I decided to quit the job I've had for the past 5 years of my life. I hadn't noticed how miserable I had become at the company I was working for, even when I made the decision to leave. It wasn't until I was actually done that I started coming to the realization of how unhappy I had been, and I'm not even sure how long I was unhappy there or when it started. I took a bit of a lengthy break, but have since begun looking for the next chapter of my career and allowing myself to start feeling excited for that.
• And now, I'm still working on the struggle of figuring out what post-covid life looks like for me. I'm not sure why it seems harder for me than everyone else in my life, but I feel like I'm changed in a way I can't decipher. Not because of covid itself, just the lifestyle I've settled into as a result of everything.

There's obviously more than all that ^^ as well, but I think I covered a lot of the important things. My hope is there's something in there some of you can maybe relate to and know that you're not alone.
These photos are from New Years Eve, which I spent alone. I decided to be in a 'fancy bath' as 2022 turned to 2023, with candles, bubbles, and watching It's a Wonderful Life. Roxie gave me kisses at midnight. I know the photos are kinda blurry and mellow, but I wanted you to know I was thinking of you as I reflected on the past year and what's to come. Before I wrote this post, I was going through old self-portrait sets and I miss creating beautiful things-- both for myself and to share with all of you. I've lost some confidence in creating, but I know that won't be true for long with all of your support. Love you guys, happy 2023.