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Some thoughts and a long ramble on where I'm at (TLDR included) (Patreon)

Published:
2024-08-24 20:01:21
Imported:
2024-11
Tags:

Content

Not really expecting many of you to read all of that shii.. I mean you're probably here just for higher quality naughty stuff right?

Up to you, TLDR: Too much perfectionism and overthinking, my skills get better yet my output decreased. Thinking how to reach an acceptable compromise of my vision and a timely manner. I love what I do and have too many ideas and regret that it feels I only bring a few of them to life.

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The reason the Furina animation and "style" specifically has taken so long is due to my rather not great obsession with doing things as proper as possible, I guess you can call it perfectionism, I don't necessarily feel it's apt because I'm hyper-aware of all the things I let slide that I feel could be done better but would take even more time.

And it's not even like it was my magnum opus or anything, in fact I spent significantly more time just studying and learning the techniques for this style, compared to how long the animation took, which in the end while I do hope it was worth it, I can't help but wonder if quality wise, is it even all that noticeable from just your plain old standard stylized shader setup you can learn to do in blender in a single day?

I've got all these thoughts I've been pondering over, and I just never figure it out completely. I always have the takeaway something's gotta change and I gotta improve but.. it's like I never really know for sure what I should do and change specifically. I think maybe I can change my approach or just settle and animate only the fast bits (the in N outs) but I find it hard to give up all the inbetweens, the.. foreplay, that I feel just adds to it and makes it far more enticing. I think something would be lost if I cut out things, again like the foreplay, just in favor of pumping out stuff more often.

I hate that I just don't manage to post more frequently, I'm honestly always surprised and extremely grateful by how many of you stick around, especially with my rather messy schedule, I used to think I couldn't give myself the luxury to take so long to work on something but thanks to your support, I have been able to.

Maybe this is just a bunch of silly overthinking on my part, after all, from your perspective I assume most of you just liked my stuff enough you thought it was worth supporting, and that's that, I mean, it's just silly naughty animations, what's with me philosophizing and overthinking so much over it? All the while, what's possibly just a meager amount for you, yet can aid me so significantly when it's all of you together.

I don't even know where I'm going with all of this, I just had a lot of thoughts I had to let out I suppose, owed you all my perspective for what I feel is a failure on my part on not delivering as often as I'd like. It sucks, that it seems the more I learned, it had the opposite effect where my output was instead decreased. And trust me when I say I really do enjoy making this, I have so many ideas all the time, yet at my pace I get to work on so little of them, usually only one at a time. Ah... if there was something I wished I had it's a hyperbolic time chamber, then I could go stay holed up until I worked and finished everything I wanted and barely a day would pass.

So how do I even conclude all of this? I guess my issue is always trying to live up to the impossible standard I set for myself, me, not anyone else, no one else has really imposed it on me. And I don't really know how to fix it either, again, I already feel that I give up on so much to be "timely" yet I feel my rate of output is anything but, and I keep thinking I'll manage to simplify it further and not compromise the vision, manage to animate it fast, quick, but it just never is quite that simple or easy.

I'm still working on my pace and figuring it all out, despite the few years I've worked on this now.

So yeah that's how I feel. If you read all of that rambling.. thanks. Or even if you didn't and skipped to the end. I'm just grateful you're here, even if it is just for the lewds.

Comments

Ludens

First of all: We love your stuffs and i knew it will take longer for you to finish those masterpiece. We all know about that so take your time, no rush 😁 Second: Idk what happened to make you feel so flustered but pls dont take it to heart ok ?? Third: Another “perfectionism artist” ?? Fucking perfect, i will say this 1 more: No rush and take your time. We love your stuffs but your health and daily work are priority 👍 P/s: Couldn’t belive i read all of your ram … i mean your post, haha 😂

Ent_Duke
>>147489769

Well you know what they say, you're your own worst enemy and it tends to be true for me hahah, thank you though <3

BigBrute

Ultimately, it's your call. You know better than any of us what process works best for you. If you're looking for insight, though, I'd say your attention to detail, inclusion of "foreplay," and perfectionism come through in the quality of the stuff you put out. Each individual detail may not be noticeable to an untrained eye, but it all adds up to a level of polish that's recognizable. A pyramid is just thousands of bricks, right? There's already plenty of artists out there that quickly churn out smut that's "good enough," but there's few that consistently have such high quality. I think that's what's attracted the audience you've got. Taking the time to learn new techniques will probably pay off in spades in the long run. Can't speak for others, but I'm personally happy to wait if it means you keep delivering work you're proud of. But I'm a perfectionist, too, so maybe I'm biased lmao

Ent_Duke
>>147521065

Hahah that is an interesting perspective. I always did hope to make up in quality for what I lack in "marketing" know how, but I still want to be more timely. I feel I've made some progress on that as of late, time will tell. There's always that ceramics teacher story, that had one group of students focus on the perfect pot and the other on making as many as possible, the latter ending up with higher quality work in the end. It always sticks out in my mind, I think I tend to fall into the first group.. ideally I'll reach a compromise between both. Buut, still working on it. Thank you for the insight my fellow perfectionist!

Christopher Bittner

Everyone has these kind of days of wanting to improve or thinking they are not doing enough. I think what you did here is great, writing how you are feeling and what you want to do, Its how idea are created. Not sure if you are looking for advice but here is some. Write all this down again in bullet points and see where you are feeling and really thinking about. Then see what you can do to achieve them. You can always add more or take away. You have a passion for what you do. I will say not many artist out their are willing to put in the animation work for a "detailed" scene. So if you want to take that route, you will be one of the few. Try adding "foreplay" idea to your next project and see how you feel. You do great work and trust me I know how long animation work can take, so take your time, stay healthy, and keep it at.

Ent_Duke
>>148839596

Oh brother if only you knew! Thanks for your viewpoint. I have been on and off with priorities, your bullet point list pretty much, and I kinda feel it's going decent as of late but I'm still just as flawed as anyone else, so there's still much to iron out in it. To ever reach that consistency with perfect flow and balance along everything else in life. But for all of us, just to keep on persisting is a victory in itself.