Preschool (Brainwash Slut) (Patreon)

It’s your first day of preschool! I bet you are excited to show off how childish and baby-like you love being each and every day to all of your new friends! These special lessons are designed to help you become the most adorable child with maximum efficiency, so be sure to pay attention to each and every soothing and correct word that you hear from your kind and knowledgeable teacher. You might not be fully potty trained yet, but you can feel confident that your needs will be taken care of by all of the smart, strong, adults around you.

Learn the proper way to act like the child you love being each and every day of your life. Feel an ever increasing need to behave like the adorable preschooler you are in every situation that you might find yourself in as you go about your day.

1. Arrival
Learn about your love of wearing cute childish outfits and accessories. Discover your love for hanging around other children with the same adorable fashion sense as you. Find yourself emulating how children talk more and more so that you can always communicate in the same way.

2. ABC’s
Find spelling anything other than simple words boring and frustrating. Learn to practice making your handwriting childish so that others will have no choice but to accept you for the little child that you are. 

3. Arts and Crafts
Love children's toys and games and find that nothing else seems to interest you. Find yourself talking about children’s topics to the people around you more often without even realizing it. Hate spending any time on boring adult activities and will discover yourself crying out of boredom whenever you are forced to participate.

4. Story Time
Listen to adults and remember that they know better than you. Find yourself following every instruction you are given without question. Love children’s stories and find yourself interested in every one that you hear. Find yourself becoming instantly bored and uninterested with any books that have no pictures or lots of boring adult words in them.

5. Lunch
Learn to love eating foods that a child would love to eat. Know that you hate eating any grown up foods, and make sure to throw a tantrum if you are forced to eat any. Find yourself crying easily in stressful situations.

6. Nap Time
Love taking naps and learn to feel comforted by the safety of your diaper to prevent any of your sleepy time accidents from leaking through your pants. Find it difficult to fall asleep without an adult nearby to read you a soothing bedtime story.

7. Recess
Play like a child. Clap your hands and jump up and down whenever you are excited. Learn to throw a tantrum whenever you do not get what you want. Hate adult outdoor activities and prefer childish outdoor activities such as playgrounds and jump rope.

8. One, Two, Threes
Learn to feel embarrassed whenever you solve a problem correctly that a toddler would never be able to solve. Find yourself getting answers wrong on purpose, so that the world around you can see you for the child you’ve always wanted to be.

9. Songs
Talk like a child and use a lisp. Listen to your peers so that you can emulate their speech as perfectly as possible. Compulsively sing nursery rhymes and children’s songs. Hate any music and songs that are made for adults or contain naughty language.

10. Going Home
Feeling accepted and happy among your preschool friends, your teacher guides you to reflect on the lessons of the day. Look forward to being the toddler you know you have always been each and every day of your future life.

This file focuses on the skill of behaving like a complete toddler, and should be listened to on a regular basis to encourage any appropriate childish behaviors, while discouraging any icky adult behaviors. Find your anxieties and worries and cares slipping away as you discover your mind drifting back into the carefree embrace of your perfect preschool training.

xoxo,
thelibrarian

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