An Apology (Patreon)

Before I continue onward, I'd like to extend an apology to y'all for these last several weeks of inactivity as well as give y'all an explanation for what's been going on in my life that kept me away.

Around the time of DenFur, (End of august) I was hit with something that severely affected my life, I will not be going into details on what that was exactly, as it is still a sore topic and the person involved and I are still trying to move through it. What happened sent me spiraling into a place of self loathing, negative thoughts, being unsure of where exactly I stood in life and I questioned my worth in life in general. I hit a very low place and shut myself off to most interactions and all work as I tried to find my purpose again, heal and mend things with the person. This wasn't for lack of trying to work.. any time I put pen to tablet, I would, for lack of a better explanation, shut down and sometimes just sit at my desk and cry.

I was in a bad place. I ended up getting to a point where I was sleeping most of my days away because I couldn't make myself get up and do anything other than take my son to and from school.

So finally i got to go back to my doctor. Told her everything that had been happening, she was concerned with my lack of motivation to do anything and with the feelings of being worthless, and switched my medication.

I've been having a rough time leveling out on this medicine and some health issues arose with my youngest brother that hardcore messed with me, but I have been feeling the motivation again and I am not in as dark of a place as I was initially. Things are slowly mending with the person I mentioned and I have another doctor's appointment soon. I'm also going to look into getting a therapist again, so my funds from patreon are likely going to be going to that for a bit.

In any case, I want to say I am sincerely sorry for my absence. I shut down when I should have been reaching out more. It's a learning experience and I will strive to do better for yall. Thank you all so much for sticking around, even through the rough spots I seem to have at times. I am sorry.

For those of you who are dealing with something similar, I strongly urge you to reach out, seek help, guidance, advice, anything. Even to just a friend. You are not worthless, even if you feel like nothing else makes sense but that. Surround yourself with people you love, allow yourself time to heal, don't shut down like i did.

I love you all, thank you for being here for me.