Under Consideration Period In BDSM Dynamics (Patreon)

Have you heard of UC? The Under Consideration period of a BDSM dynamic? This is the time when you’re trying out parts of the dynamic to see if you are compatible with your kinky partner. Think of it like a trial run you don’t sprint full speed to being in a dynamic instead you try stuff out while in those earlier phases of your relationship to see if you work together. I did my under consideration period with my Mommy for 7 months. From what I observed from others in the community the average time is about 6-12 months people spend in this period. But I saw some do as little as 3 it just depends what feels right for you and your partner.

So what is the goal of an “Under Consideration” period? Why not just immediately start into a full blown dynamic from the start? The goal of a UC period is to get to know your partner. If you’re monogamous this is especially important to make sure most of your kink interests line up together. Give a few tries to things to see what works, and develop more in depth information on your partner. That way you both feel satisfied. From what I hear in a poly relationship there is also adding on things like seeing how they react with jealousy. How much time you can spend on that partner vs others, and if you’ll be able to have a satisfying dynamic with what time you spend together.

Speaking about my own experiences during my UC period I think I grew to trust my dominant more because I was given leeway to make mistakes in the beginning. She didn’t expect me to be this all knowing little submissive that could follow all her orders and tasks from the get go. My dominant also encouraged me to test things with her to see how she would react to stuff and if that could play well into our dynamic. Over time she introduced light rules, and only a handful of light punishments. Again we were testing the water not diving in.

For example, brattiness. My dominant does identify with “brat tamer” and I did in the beginning with “brat”. It was through our UC period that I learned to what degree of brattiness she tolerated. How much I could push before she would stop and it would feel unsatisfying because I knew I pushed her a bit too far in patience. My dominant learned that when my bratty side came out it was usually to ask for specific things. But overall we found out I’m not that much of a brat afterall and I’m actually very obedient and a “good girl” as she would say. I found more satisfaction in pleasing her and obeying her orders than I did pushing back on them. So while I have bratty moments I don’t think I’m much of a brat. I rated my scale of brattiness on 1 to 10 and I think I’m a 4. So not that bratty. If it wasn’t for the UC period of our relationship I wouldn’t have had as much room to experiment with that instead having strict rules I might’ve not clicked with. (Of course in any dynamic no matter what the phase sometimes we change the rules never be afraid to talk about stuff like that and have that flexibility)

I’m so happy I had an UC period with my Mommy. I was able to feel truly safe, I knew she was right alongside me learning what worked for me as well as her, and going slow allowed me to fall in love with not only her dominant sides but with her as a full person. So what happens when you complete your UC period and you enter a full dynamic?

For my own dynamic that meant I was able to call my dominant girlfriend by her title Mommy for the first time out loud vocally. I had trial runs of it in text form only mainly to practice our protocols/daily routines about a month before I completed UC. But I wasn’t allowed to actually say it out loud until I earned it by completing my UC period. I was allowed to use lighter titles like ma’am but we don’t use that as a title just a phrase of respect since it’s something you use in vanilla life too. It’s just being polite and I didn’t use it most of the time just her first name. Ma’am usually only popped out with “yes ma’am” or “no ma’am” for me. Again, it wasn’t a title for us but ma’am and sir can be titles for some dynamics just not mine. (Please talk to your partner about what you consider titles, and never ever just start using them without discussing it first)

Some people might consider collaring after a UC period but that depends on the person. Some people consider collaring an equivalent to marriage, some don’t put much thought on collaring at all. That’s up to you!

I’m so grateful for my UC period and how connected it made me to my Mommy. How much more value it gave our dynamic and how I was able to properly have time to build trust before moving on to harder kinks and experiences.

Thanks for reading,

Gummi