Poll pick + life update (things are rough!) (Patreon)

 Hey everyone, finally I had time and energy to come to you and explain more about my situation. You are the part of my following that makes the most difference. Leaving you in the dark is something I don't agree with.

 I had to be hospitalized last week due to a MS flare, my body, legs, arms and mouth were all numb. I had to make some exams and I discovered the disease is getting more severe. I had just started medication (which takes a lot of paperwork to get access through universal healthcare) and now I'll have to shift to a stronger one.

 This has completely shattered my mind and sense of self. I'm weak, vulnerable, I feel like I'll never draw again. Leaving bed is a heavy chore. I want to get better and I know I have to be patient with myself, but life just keeps happening.

 I'm scared.

 I haven't been able to work properly on commissions because my mental health is so degraded and my precision isn't the same anymore. For the upcoming month, I think I'll start doing sketch commissions. That way I can get something done that is worth the price. The idea of getting a dayjob is on the horizon but I'm still too weak to do that. 

 I can't promise I'll make a good pin-up this month. I haven't drawn in weeks. But I may try a finishing style for the sketch commissions with this month's pick, Hohenheim from Fullmetal Alchemist:Brotherhood.

 I plan next month may be the first one I doesn't make a pin-up. 

Life is scary but I'm happy you are here.

Makes me believe pursuing art wasn't a wast of time.

 Makes me me feel I have some kind of potential for happiness in this. That I'm not this useless artist that wasn't born to do this, like most artists I follow are born to.

 I'm sorry for the venting everyone.... It's just that life is very, very, very difficult right now. 

 And I'm still figuring what to do.