Week 4 Lecture: The Avavexi (Patreon)

"Welcome back, class! My sincerest apologies for last week's cancelled lecture... my Malpractice Tribunal with the Haardnoks Trust and Safety Council ran a little over-schedule. Who'd have thought that those reactionary snowflakes would have such a Terra-centric attitude to a bit of ritualised anal rape, eh? 

Frankly, I felt it was all very disrespectful to the traditional customs of my people... I mean, I did apologise to Captain McGuire! And take him to the Emergency Room. Well... to the car-park of the Emergency Room. Okay... I threw him out of a speeding shuttlecar into a supermarket car-park.

Praise Avorodrax for tenure!

Anyway, enough about the appalling bigotry of the Haardnoks Faculty... we're here to talk about the third species in our series on the Seven Felinoid Races of Rowwwl - the Avavexi. 

Biology: 

The Avavexi exclusively inhabit the Sankassh Marshes, an 800km square wetlands located at the intersection of Rowwwl's latitudinal and longitudinal equatorial zones. The heavily irradiated Sankassh is highly toxic to most forms of life, leaving the Avavexi as the uncontested apex predators in a region shunned by other Races. Indeed, the neighbouring Chitara term for the Avevaxi translates as 'Bad Food' – a reference to their radioactive and carcinogenic flesh. 

Like most species in Sankassh, the Avavexi are semi-amphibian – ectotherms capable of using their skin as a secondary respiratory surface underwater, but with a mammalian reproduction system. Their cubspawn only develop lungs at Metamorphosis - which takes place at around 16 - prior to which they live underwater and feed exclusively through their parents' milk... And you Humans though puberty was a difficult transition! 

They... yes, Captain Einfach? I did indeed say parents' milk. As you'll note from the slide, Avavexi males are para-androgynous: male in every respect, but possessing milk-producing mammaries. This gentleman here is spawnless, but while spawn-suckling, the male's breasts will often enlarge two or three times the... Captain! Please put that away! It is completely unacc... Captain c.sieggy! Stop helping him!... Oh dear, perhaps we'd better just carry on with the lecture. I'm sure they'll be... finished... soon.   

Society: 

The Avavexi are a peaceable race, but their radioactive isolation has failed to spur the development of their culture beyond the primitive. After Metamorphosis, they subsist on a largely carnivorous diet of raw Soliander Fish and Gup-gups, which they hunt with elaborately-carved bone clubs fashioned from the skeletons of their ancestors. This food is shared equally among members of the tribe and visitors alike - making the Avavexi the most communal and least territorial of the Felinoid races, and indicating the development of a hospitality culture. 

Indeed, this hospitality extends to the wide-spread sharing of females, and it is considered a great insult to reject the sexual advances of any adult. This itself presents a further barrier to inter-Species relations, given that many regard the Avavexi as repulsive... More than a few SciCorps researchers have been forced to lie back and think of the Union as they take on a whole tribe of Avavexi in the name of cultural sensitivity!   

I actually rather enjoyed it. 

Ahem. It should also be noted that Avavexi throat-singing is considered one of the most beautiful sounds in the known galaxy. In the words of the great Cultural Commentator Grathnok Y'barrix it “ranks along with the sarried Masses of Bekuanist Choirs and the synchronised Yodelling of the Kantauri – perhaps even reaching the heights of Earth's classical period of Dubstep and Grime.” 

I could take it or leave it, myself. 

Citizenship:   

The Avavexi play almost no role within the Union – stemming from the difficulties integrating a radioactive species that requires almost constant skin-hydration into a space-based civilisation. However, their artistic abilities and communality have led many to regard them as suitable candidates for eventual full membership – once we've gotten over the issue of having to eat half a pound of charcoal tablets every time we shake hands with one! In fact, I understand that one of my colleagues from Haardnoks is leading an an acquis mission to them as we speak. 

Anyway, that's it for this week's lecture class... um... probably best just to walk around Captain Dirheim. Please ask any questions you may have about the Avavexi below, and I'll see you next week, when we'll be taking a look at the fourth of Rowwwl's Seven Races – the Kkatlyns!”