constantly torn (Patreon)

5/18/2022

constantly torn.

between myself

and between ourself.

between constant movement and growth of my own being and aliveness

and our constant shifting and learning and growth of our relationship.

i want to be out of the house,

i want to be making

and creating

and evolving

and learning

and dance dance dancing!

i want to be witnessing another and them witnessing me in a way that is nothing of a parent relationship.

and i want to hold her close and bring back the bond that we had a few months ago when it was just her and i all the time.

and i want to disappear for a while and no one know where i am or who i am.

and i want to take her with me to explore the world and the food.

and i want the house completely empty except for myself,

and i want to paint all over the walls and cut open my skin and shower in the sink.

and i want her arm to stay wrapped around me forever like it is right now as i type this.

and i want to escape from her grip and get in the car alone and drive fast alone and sing alone and go and work with new people and be terrified of what they may think of me.