meditate. masturbate. (Patreon)

meditate,

masturbate.

meditate,

masturbate.

meditate….

or masturbate?

how about both?

masturbating helps me come into my body,

and meditating helps me come into my body.

and when i join them together

(which often it is so hard to do that, because my brain still conflates sexual satisfaction with aggression and distrust and hatred. thank you sexism and misogyny… but when i am able to join them together,)

it feels like an entire movement through whatever emotions i am having a hard time expressing or exploring or feeling. really similar to psychedelics actually.

it gets released.

i get released.

my body convulses,

tears flow,

energy feels as if to bodyscan it’s way through each molecule of my being.

do i hate myself?

no dear one,

you are simply human, and you are simply embarrassed.

we all feel embarrassed.

what about the shame?

the depression?

the same thing my love, you are simply human and you are simply feeling what it means to be human.

let all your emotions be felt, be present, be with you

and let them move you and move through you.

let yourself be FELT,

be touched,

be enjoyed.