today grief feels like freedom (Patreon)

today it feels like freedom.

today it feels lighter

and gentler.

today my grief is giving me

a strange peace.

today my grief

feels like a balloon

that was emptied so quickly

but is now filling

and floating

into the cherry pink sky.

today i feel freer

and higher

and today i feel

like i could float off and on

and anywhere i go

i’ll be able to carry grief with me.

because today i am reminded

that after storms

after tears

after wanting to die

after image and image

of ending the pain

i remember that

because i let myself feel it

i have moments and days and weeks

where my focus is here.

present.

aware.

in tune with my toes in the wool socks

noticing the shiver down my spine

walking into the chilly kitchen

see her chase the cat,

play with her with the trains.

today i feel freedom and lightness

and the grief is still there

but not in THIS moment.

it’s stepped back.

in THIS moment there is just me

and her

and breath

and lightness

and light

and softness

carrying me towards the pale pink sky.