acadia in october : self portraits (Patreon)

i have been so low the last few weeks. everything feels hard. i have been going through a lot of physical change as well as emotional change. an awareness of how some of even the "tiniest" hurts and traumas have impacted my relationship to people, with anyone really.

i feel unsure about how to go about my desire to create and my desire to share what i create. everything feels like a question mark.

these last few days have been easier. i have been wondering about my emotional state in terms of my cycle. i noticed that over the last few months i really only feel "okay" for about five days a month. i have been learning a lot about PPMD (premenstrual dysphoric disorder) and wondering how much that affects me and how much it could just be straight-up "normal" depression & anxiety.

always trying to be easier and gentler with myself. be okay with what i can and cannot do in a day. i was not born to simply function and get work done. allowing myself to feel whatever it is i feel in the day as well as notice all the beauty is okay.

life is so so hard and so so beautiful. always. at least for me. and i know some of you on here can relate as well, and just knowing that makes it all feel a little easier.