day 35 (Patreon)

winter solstice 2020

as i sit at the dining table, blueberries cover nalcoahs face and hands. my mind feels blue. hazy blue. she grabs for this paper like she grabs at me. i pull myself and the paper away. stained. covered in blue. shattered my heart is for this child, the beautiful girl who has a mother who feels so torn and burned, to be raising her. light floods my arm, hair, eyes. i cant see for a moment. the light blinding. she stands in her chair and talks to me. i keep writing. my mind still lingering on things not her. i look out the window. everything i can see at 3:11 on a december 21st. everything i won’t be able to see at 4:51. the golden mountains, turned blue. the trees reflecting the light. what’s left of green on pines and a few burnt orange falling to the ground.

(this will be my last of these daily posts)