Getting health insurance didn't go as planned (Patreon)

Well, I met the health insurance goal, so I decided to go ahead and try applying during open enrollment. Apparently though, insurance is expensive as hell and although my estimated income is only around $2,400 for the entire year I somehow do not qualify for any discounts or specials. 

The lowest costing plan is nearly exactly that amount of money for a year, with a four thousand dollar deductible before they will so much as pay for a normal doctor visit. O__O That is just not mathematically possible. After paying for the plan I wouldn't have any money left to actually pay my deductible. 

So, sadly, I am going to be stuck with a general health plan of "Don't get sick" and "Don't get hurt." I will have to update that goal to not include mention of health insurance.