Half in the Bag: Strange Darling (Patreon)

Half in the Bag: Strange Darling

Movies. What is they? A series of images accompanied by sound and music to tell a story. Who makes them? Artists? Clowns? Men and/or Women? Beef? A.I.s will soon make them and everything else and that's when the wars start. Save antibiotics and anti-radiation pills. Invest in canned food and shotguns. Build a fence around your property with barbed wire even though your elderly neighbors tell you it's an "eye sore". Tell them, "First A.I.s will make an episode of Spongebob Squarepants and next they'll be coming to harvest your organs for Chinese billionaire gangsters on the black market through the dark web". I found the site already. It's called www.crackerguts.com. On the site is a photo of my fat face with a caption that reads: We want everything but your liver. But I digress. Today Mike and Jar went BACK to the Monkeypox filled movie theaters to watch "Strange Darling", the new film starring Kyle Gallner (pronounced Gouwlinger) and others. Strange Darling is a weird, erotic, violent, indie-love story gone awry with the stench of mental illness and emotional manipulation. You could say it's the story of my childhood minus the broken shin bone that occurred in the back of a Pacer after we were hit by a drunk driver named "Ted Danson". Kyle Gallner and Willa Fitzgerald light the screen on fire with performances that'll make you sh*t your trousers with last night's beans. Intense, bold, and shocking with lots of twists and turns, Strange Darling will keep you guessing and entertained the whole time. Unless two fly over apes from Milwaukee spoiled it for you. They tried to spoil not much. As little as possible and there are warnings, so pay attention. Just go see the movie, then watch the FULL review for fun. I support indie films. I mean, I don't support Tubi indie films like "VelcoSharktoClown" and trash like that, but real indie films that take care and effort to try to make something good, well yeah we support that. Maybe all the people that worked on this movie are huge as*h*les. I have no idea, but when it comes to sitting my fat a** down on a theater seat stained with dried cheese, if the movie shows me something, anything new and interesting I'm all for it. Overall the movie gets an F-