The Worst Witch: A Heathen’s Curse (Patreon)

I didn’t intend to watch Hagazussa: A Heathen’s Curse and The Worst Witch back to back. I also didn’t indent to fall behind on the essay part of this movie marathon of madness, but, as it turns out, both were very fortunate occurrences. 

Hagazussa is the story of Albrun, an accused witch living in the Alps in the 15th century. She’s abused, tormented, generally cursed, and lives out a life similar to a Germanic version of  Martha Belton in Los Ritos Sexuales del Diablo. (Including some similar goat-related content.) 

The Worst Witch is the story of Mildred Hubble, a young witch who is kind of a loser and is stumbling her way through a Hogwarts before there was a Hogwarts.

Hagazussa is beautiful from a cinematography perspective. The framing of each shot, the color, and the sound design are all art at its finest. What is depicted may be uncomfortable, and at times painful, to watch, but it is presented with an unmatched eye for aesthetics. The Worst Witch is a barely functional VHS rip later released on DVD that is soaked through and through with that 80’s BBC style that was perfected by the Narnia films. 

These films appear at odds which each other, but that is deceiving. There are elements to the figure of the witch that are inalienable from any witch-based media. The witch is an outsider, and Other even in their own community. A figure linked to the tensions of sexuality and transgressions of power. Mildred and Albrun are neighbors despite being worlds apart. 

The Worst Witch uses the same themes as Hagazussa, but removes a layer of metaphor. While the films deal with different intensities and are clearly aimed at different audiences, both of our witches are forced to navigate being de facto exiles, sexual tensions (The Worst Witch plays this as young girls having a celebrity crush and as an adult teacher having a poorly concealed affair with said celebrity), and coming to terms with their own externality. 

At the end of Hagazussa, Albrun, after being tormented and driven to the edge, lays down on a scenic mountaintop and bursts into flames. Outside of this scene, we are uncertain if the magic in Hagazussa is real or just psychological. This, in some ways, renders The Worst Witch far more unsettling. Looking past the sing-alongs and the 80’s BBC aesthetic, we find the same core fictive elements of the witch. Mildred is isolated, abused, and mocked by her peers like Alburn. 

In the end of The Worst Witch, Mildred manages to accidentally save the day by running into some proto-Death Eaters and turning them into snails. Mildred returns to school and is now celebrated by her peers and Tim Curry’s “Grand Wizard” character. Despite a seemingly happy ending, there is a parallel tragedy here. Mildred is still the same, the school just loves her now for this brief moment. Both the studentry and the Grand Wizard didn’t learn anything about themselves and their prejudices against Mildred, they are just sycophants feeding off her fifteen minutes of fame. 

In some ways then, I am moved to ask is Hagazussa asking the same questions as The Worst Witch only through art house rather than made-for-TV magic? 

To quote Tim Curry 

“Once in a purple moon, there is a special young witch who shines above the rest. Often she goes unnoticed, because she is always out of step. I have seen this girl trying to fly. Oh yes, I have. I've seen her at play and how her friends treated her. A true witch isn't always one who comes out on top of the tests. A true witch has witchcraft in her at all times, and this is what you have, Mildred Hubble.”

Also Fairuza Balk really kicks ass when she plays a witch. 10/10 black cats.