Toph Heavy Part 3 - Page 24 - Final (Patreon)
Content
So, I've been altering the dialogue quite a bit from the dialogue preview. The basic story is written all the way until the end, but there's wiggle room to make things clearer. Towards that end, I've been going over it with a friend who is acting as a kind of editor and taking suggestions from him on things that will help get my point across better. This one was interesting because we had a discussion on whether or not I should use the word "god." It's great as an exclamation like "God that was crazy!" but we're not sure they'd say that word in this universe. Then I used other modern earth vernacular like "fuck" but that seems less jarring somehow. I left it in because I like it and it fits the lustful tone, but I may change it in the future. I don't suppose it matters because it's a parody, but still... What do you think?