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Hello patrons! I just wanted to update you all on how things have been. The current animation for October is coming along well, but not without some stress. As you may have seen in past postings, this will be the Japanese Language animation “Romantic Weekend”. It turned out to be quite ambitious. Coincidentally I was able to get time off from my other job, and thought I would be able to spend more time on completing it. 

But strangely I was having a bit of anxiety working on it, as if I didn’t know how it would turn out. I would have creative insomnia, wake up in a cold sweat several times, and even had dreams about animating it. As time went on, I was getting more confident in the project, but in the end, I had to cut out a kissing scene, which I was really looking forward to doing (I might animate it another month if it is popular). 

On top of that, I was using a new version of Flash, which was very hard to work with. It really added to the frustration, to not produce as quickly as I am used to. I will likely revert to an older version, as speed is very important when working in animation. 

Now that I have started back at my other job, I need to question just how ambitious I can really go with future projects. The last month was particularly hard on me. I know also it’s possible to make great animation without going too crazy, so I will need to be more judicious in the scope of what I create in the future. 

Some things I am considering is hiring animation help, or doing Patreon full time. But this would depend on a lot of factors, and it is hard to plan at the moment. It is something I am keeping in mind for the future.

Another thing happened recently. Two different platforms have requested that I take down content, for reasons I very much disagree with. I was not pleased about it at all. In the process, some posts have been removed in error, and I will try to repost them soon. It really took a lot out of me. 

So right now, I am taking a little break this weekend from animation (Oct 1 to 4), put my pen down, step away and make an effort to see friends, catch up with family, play video games, cook and just go out and enjoy the weather. I think letting you guys know how I am doing helps me feel better too. Your support and encouragement means a lot to me, and keeps me going when I sometimes doubt myself. I just gotta remember, as Hikari says at the end of Star Love Zero Gravity, “I must never doubt myself!”

“Romantic Weekend” is turning out great, so please look forward to its release later this month! Thanks again for your support.

Comments

Emerald

Take care of yourself! 🥰

Anonymous

Remember your health comes first, your animations &amp; artwork are absolutely amazing. Everything you have done I have loved, keep up your fabulous work ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜.

Anonymous

As a fellow creator, I can fully understand. We tend to put a ton of pressure on ourselves especially as independent creators. We self impose deadlines and are incredibly hard on ourselves. I finished writing my last book in 3 days with almost no sleep just to make my deadline. We don't want to disappoint our supporters and fans. But we have to remember that if we don't take care of ourselves we can't continue doing what we love to do and what we strive to share with the world. &lt;3 We need me time too.

Anonymous

We are many that love your content Maruten, and I understand completely. Stress is nothing to take lightly on (speaking from personal experiance with depression), and I'd rather see you take your time rather than push yourself. Stay safe buddy, and take care! 💟💟

Andy Martinez

Spoken like a true artist 💝 👏

Cristi

As you well know, I am behind you 100% no matter what you decide. Health comes first.

Anonymous

I'm ready to wait as long as I have to if I know you're taking care of yourself because that's the most important :)

wo2157

Your animation work is amazing, and I am happy to be a patron.

maruten

Thanks, yes balancing health and work can be difficult, I will do harder to step away from the computer lol

maruten

You have a book? What is it? Yes, we are our worst critics, we really shouldn't take ourselves too hard. I'd like to hear more about your perspective too.

maruten

I definitely got to scale it back. But still aiming for hotness. It is a tricky thing to do lol

maruten

Thank you! I need to learn balancing work life, and stepping away to live real life. I shouldn't pressure myself so much.

maruten

I am hoping to make a new model of how I create animated works. Eventually, I will have some smooth system for doing so :)

maruten

Oh the life of the artist lol :D I wish that erotica can be taken more seriously as an artform or subcategory than it is now.

maruten

But your support is very appreciated. I'm glad you believe in my work!

Anonymous

Yes :) I have several. I write gay urban fantasy/paranormal romance. I've been published for 2 years now and I still have a ways to go before I can quit my day job. I'm a software tester too. But I'd much rather spend my days writing. Hehehe but I very much know the pressure of working and trying to squeeze in my passion. ;) if you want to check out my work you can go to my website www.agcarothers.com

Lucca Berger

Maruten, I think it's great that you share this with us and I am happy that you take time off for yourself - you deserve it ☺️ You bring so much joy and enjoyment to us and the fairest thing is that you should experience the same. This update to us shows how much care and effort you put into your art and I can understand that this can lead to stress and anxiety to fulfill expectations and meet your own standards (which for sure are higher than ours). Be reassured that you never fail to surprise us and that you are creating exceptional art that we all love ☺️ I hope so much that the situation will ease up for you and I guess all these comments show that you have full support from us. Maybe we can even help a little? Unsure about a sequence that you need to cut from an animation? Start a small poll here that might help to make a decision. As a Diamond Hard member I love your suggestion box - but maybe you can shorten the submission time to one week rather than two which could give you more flexibility timewise...😉 Take care of yourself, feel hugged from afar and already looking forward to your next great piece of art! XOXO Lucca

Anonymous

Yeah finding that balance can be a real pain. 😉 I wish you the best! 💟

Anonymous

Do what you gotta do Maruten, we'll happily wait! Take care.

maruten

Thanks for your support! For artwork, it's easy to do in the later half of the month. Where I slipped up was where I thought by having extra time, I could do more, when in fact I was getting too ambitious. But now that the current project is almost done, I can do the next animation simple and sexy. I feel much better now thanks yo everyone's support!

Anonymous

We're all with you! I hope you had a nice rest and got some head-clearing done. Creative Insomnia is the worst, not that I'm creative lol. Thanks for taking the time to give us a glimpse into what you go through as an animator. Of course, we would all love for you to do Patreon full time, but I can't imagine what kind of stress that would put on you. Keep us in the loop, and I hope you feel the love coming your way!

Jack

this would be a perfect bday present for me 😄❤️