Chapter 22: Curses! (Patreon)

Jeb couldn’t speak.

He couldn’t move.

His Myst was wobbly and uncoordinated, escaping from his control like water vapor.

Through the haze of teary eyes, he could see the three undead hags closing in for the kill.

Jeb blinked.

He blinked a lot.

Twice on each side, as a matter of fact.

The alternate activation for his ‘room full of charlies’ Myst trap triggered, and a packet of densely braided Myst unraveled from Jeb’s core, flinging a chaotic mixture of telekinetic shrapnel every direction in a vicious chain reaction.

The nearest undead damsel was flung backwards on a pillow of razor sharp blades, but the two behind her – the wounded mind-controller and the leader – were shielded by a wall of compressed debris that erupted from the liquid earth beneath them.

Jeb hacked and spat out a lungful of blood onto the ground, catching his breath for a moment to focus on his Myst.

Jeb infused the solid earth around his palm with his Myst, then shattered it, freeing his hand just as the undead recovered.

“Juggernaut!” Jeb shouted before the blood caught in his throat again.

The ‘juggernaut’ trigger was one hundred linked telekinetic bullets, set to fire from his index finger an eight of a second apart, for a sustained fire of twelve seconds.

Jeb fired the first four telekinetic bullets into the compressed earth around his left hand, then raised his finger and swept an enfilade across the battlefield, aiming to buy himself a little time to get over the coughing fit.

Jeb caught one of the charging undead in the torso, knocking her back, but the other one twirled through his line of fire with an amount of grace that Jeb wouldn’t have attributed to an oversized undead chicken.

Jeb tore his left hand free from the perforated earth and tried to focus his Myst, but his lungs wouldn’t let him stop coughing. The only thing he could manage was to splay his fingers wide, deploying a shield trap in midair,

The undead kitri lashed out with a taloned kick, shattering through the telekinetic plane of force and landing the blow directly on his face.

If most of the kick’s energy hadn’t been absorbed by the shield, it might have torn Jeb’s head off.

Jeb’s head snapped back, his vision became a burst of stars, and he could only dimly perceive the sky and earth flipping wildly around him as his knees tore painfully out of the ground.

He heard his fancy wooden foot crack open as the torque wrenched him out of it, leaving most of it cemented in the earth.

That’s gonna cost five bulbs to get replaced, Jeb thought an instant before he slammed into the edge of the dome surrounding them.

The impact collapsed Jeb’s lungs and forced a huge glob of radioactive blood out of his throat, finally clearing his breathing in one violent Heimlich maneuver.

Jeb heaved in a shuddering breath, his vision returning as the wall tried to eat him, turning liquid and drawing him into the mishmash of patchwork debris. Really cleared that up.

Error. Recalculating Body. 50 à48

Error. Recalculating Myst 138 à142

Quiet you.Jeb’s eyes narrowed as he focused past the ominous error messages, trying to spot the next attack.

Through the haze of stars, Jeb made out the opposition charging forward. The one who’d kicked a field goal with his head was in the middle, recovering her stance, the damaged one was way ahead, almost on top of him, and the leader’s field of view was blocked by a wall of dust and debris.

Jeb and one-arm had a good three seconds of alone time.

Jeb unleashed a blast of Myst around him, freeing himself from the wall. His side twinged with pain where a shard of stone must have gotten jabbed into his side.

One-arm arrived, blade raised.

Jeb experienced a tear of pain in his head as he stretched his ability to control Myst to its limit, feeding seven budded loops of Myst back into his Telekinetic Myst, the destructive resonance changing the primary string to plasma.

Jeb budded the resulting string Myst into half a dozen separate strands, weaving a simple net of blinding white fire.

With a bit of an artist’s flair, Jeb applied a Relationship to the spell, but not relative to him, relative to the creature desperately trying to put on the brakes as the net of plasma blinked into existence between them.

It just wants a hug, Jeb thought with a wry smile as he launched the net forward.

The undead almost got away.

Somehow, the one controlling the battlefield through the use of her liquifying powers could percieve what was happening and looped a strand of liquified rock around her waist, yanking her backward.

The brilliant net of fire closed in around the kitri.

Faster and smoother than Jeb could react to, the undead creature was flipped sideways and thrown through a gap in the net.

Unfortunately for her, it wasn’t faster than the net itself could react.

Just wanting to give the disgusting creature a hug, the net of fire cinched down on the undead Damsel’s legs, burning a grip into the creature’s flesh, then it folded backward, reversing its orientation to engulf the trapped undead.

In the blink of an eye, there was nothing left of the former Damsel but a lifeless pile of smoldering, carbonized chunks.

A moment of silence passed across the battlefield as the two remaining undead reconvened, obviously weighing whether to risk trying to beat him or simply bail.

Not like I’d let them.

Jeb felt a small burden lift off his soul as one of the subjects of his Deal with the emperor was removed from play.

“Alright,” Jeb said, his voice hoarse as he hopped in place on one leg. “Which one of you is n-urk!”

You have gained a level!

You have gained a level!

You have gained a level!

You have gained a level!

You are now level 45!

Congratulations! You have Beaten the Ḿ̵̞̞̯̰̼̖͓͚̱̣͚̬͈̹̦̊̃̈́́̔̎̅̈̈́̕ä̵̜̭͎͔͈̝̻̏͒͋̌̐͑̎̈́̌͘͘͠͠ͅŗ̴̠̖̗͈͍̳̟͌̄̌̽̂̉̓̚t̸̛͇̰͎̱͖͕͗͆͌͊͊̔̃̃͗̓̄̽y̴̨͖̤̖̼̲͇̼͎̲̺͋̔̓̀̍̋͛̉͝r̸̰̬̩̙̼̜̯̾̈́͗̈̒̆̾̀͑̆̒͂̚̚͜͝e̶̢̡̩͖̓̊̊̕d̸̗̳͙̙͌͝ ̶͔̬̟̤̞̣̾b̴̢̮̖̞̤̻̽͋̄̈́̓̐͛͆̌̇͆r̶̻͚͙͎͈͛̽͛̓̌̄́̆͒̀̉̋͛̔̚ì̴̺̯̙̰̱́͘͘ͅḑ̸̬͈͔͕̦͇̯̗͖͉̖͂̿͆́̈́̏̓̐̊̓͒̌͒̕͜e̶̟̭͇͛͒͑́́͠,̴̧̝̺̯̹͍͒͜ ̷̡̣͚̰̫̠̟͓̼͊̄͛̈́̆͗J̷̧̧̣̳̪͕̟͓͈̱̘̬̟̆̒͌i̴͔̩̖̓̌͌̓̚͜ÿ̶̮͈̘̙̝͇͓̘́́͝͝i̸͇͓̟͎͒̍͘ķ̸̛̱̭͙̝͎̙͚̹̅͋̂̄̌̓̏̌̇̑͌̔̓̀i̸͙̲̠̲̼͉͒̀̓̇̏̾̃̽̒̚͜ in a one-on-one duel. Your s̷̨̡͈͉͔͓̗͕͕̩̜̦̭̰̫͛e̶̜̽̉l̵̨̛̘̟̰͖͇͕̻̈́f̷̣̻̠͍̰͇͕̘̼̠̝̙͔̍̚͝-̷̨̰̣̣̮̜̼̮̩͈͆͂̎̆͆͂̿͐̒̎̈́̿͐̊s̴̨̫̹̞̲͌͝ą̷̧̱͉̦̘̖̲͇̼̤̻̜̪͑̏̂͂̽̀̋̈̂̔͌͑̈́̕c̷̬̜̬̭̟̼̳͋͂̒̃̒̊͋͗̂̆̈̊͋͘͜r̷̢̡̖̹̼̟̟̣̋̒̔̊̈́͐̈́̄͌į̵̖̞͓̹̯̈́͒́f̴̢̱̻̦̩̱̖̳̫̣̝̾͛̾́̋̄̇͜͝͝͝ḭ̴̲͐͗̕c̷̖͖̠̾̀̂̐͆͛͆͝ĕ̵̍̈́̈́̕ is beyond reproach!

Č̵̦̘̠̋͂́͘͜͝u̸͇͒̀̈̊͘ͅr̶̰̰̒̏͆̚s̶̤͍͚͓͖̈́̈́̃̈́e̴̡̡̛̱̰͍̱ͅ ̸̨̢̻̩̙̦͕̎̍̅̊̕͠ö̸͓͚́̄̏f̷̧̧̠̟͚̻̀̉̆̓͘͝ ̸͔̒t̷͓̘̭͇̻̮̓̈́͘h̵̨̡͓̱͖̼͍͒̔̃̾̂͠e̵̘̦̜͓̿́ ̸͖͍̯̒̇̿̂͘Ṁ̵̢̹̤̉a̶̯̳̣͗̓̊̆̒͝r̸͖͖̭̱͎̆̀̔̈́͗t̴̢͌͋y̵͍̭͎̮͔̪̔̍͑̂r̵͔̹̗͋̎̈́̇̔̌́ ̵̯͓̜͚̘̿̈́̌̀̌͘͝g̶͇̱̺̗̓̈r̸̨̟͆͋͆̓̀̕ả̵̛̦͕̰̼͙́̀̅̓͠ǹ̴̨͍̳̖͋͋͊t̵̲͐ẹ̸̇̑̆͑̎͜͠͠d̸̺̣̮̺̥̆͑̈́͋͐̕͝ͅ

-5 Body

-5 Myst

-5 Nerve

A sensation like bad shellfish followed by a ride on the tilt-a-whirl while stricken down with the flu assaulted Jeb’s body. Intense Nausea, aching, fatigue, and a throbbing pain that seemed to radiate outward form his core.

It felt Bad.

Jeb collapsed, gasping for breath and retching.

A worrisome spurt of blood escaped his mouth, sizzling into the rubble underneath his fingers. Jeb’s vision dimmed to the beat of a pounding headache.

I guess this is how I die, Jeb thought, his vision narrowing down until the only thing he could see was the back of his hand, bones visible through the softly glowing flesh.

Softly glowing flesh? Jeb thought with the last threads of his consciousness.

He could make out the delicate bones in his wrist through the faint green glow-

The bomb!

In a moment of lucidity, Jeb realized that it wasn’t the curse making him feel like he was about to explode. He was actually about to pop. His Body was being overwhelmed by his unnatural Myst and he was hanging on by a thread.

Jeb heaved in a shuddering breath.

“Status,” Jeb said between convulsive coughs.

Jebediah Trapper

Mystic Trapsmith, Level 45

Accolades: Krusker’s Brawn, Siren’s Cunning, R-R-RubU’s Mysteries, Gresh’s Subtlety, Innovator, Ì̴̸̵̡̢̪̙͔̻̠͋ͥ̓ͥ̒͊̕̕͠ a̸̸̵̡̦̫͕̟̞͓̽͆͒ͣ̒̈́ͣ̐͑̚͜͝m̴̴̸̙͍̟̫̻͖̝͕̟̀͆ͫ́̒ͫ̔̐͝͝ в̴̴̸̡̠̞͙̝͇̻̓͒ⷡ͐̓̀ⷡ̓̓͒e̸̵̵̫̻̪͍̪͚̝͊̾ͤ̔ͤ͋̐͘͝͝c̸̴̴̡̢̞̪̼͙͖͚̫̈́̿ͨ̔̔ͨ͐̿̕̕͝o̸̴̸̪͙͖͚̘̝͚̠̾͛ͦ͊̔̽ͦ̈́̈́͛̚m̵̴̵̞̝͚̫̙̻̘̝͕͒̔ͫ̔͐ͫ͆̈́̕͝ë̸̸̴̡̡̙̘͙͓̠̞̠́͌̽ͤ̓̀ͤ͛̕͝ D̵̵̸͚̠̦͔͉̺͎̼̘́͊ͩ́͋̐ͩ̓̓̔͝è̴̴̵̢̡͇͖̟͔͓͖́ͤ̈́͌ͤ͆͛͛͝͝a̵̴̸͉͖͇̠͙͙͕͔͇͆͒ͣ͐̓͐ͣ́̾̒͝ᴛ̵̴̙̟̺͔̻̼͒̔͋ⷮ̾͘͝h̸̸̸͕͍̻͔̺̀̿ͪ̓͆́ͪ̿̾͑͜͝,̸͍͖̺͐̾̓̓̚ ᴛ̵̸͚̼̟͑ⷮ͊͘͜͝͠h̵̸̸̟͖͔͎͔̝͔͑ͪ̈́͊̽ͪ́͛́͘͜͝è̸̸̴̞̫̟͎̟͓̘͚͓̈́ͤ̓͌͛ͤ͐͘ D̸̸̴̢̡͍͍̺͉͎̦͑͒̽ͩ͌͐̓ͩ͒̔͜e̵̸̵̢̪͉͎͍̫̠͉͌ͤͤ̔̀̒͘̕͝͠s̸͎̫͇̓͑͛͛͝ᴛ̸̸̢̠̻͇͙͎̒͋ⷮ̐̓͒r̸̸̵͙͎͇̠̼̺̦̔̈́̈́ͬ͑̈́ͬ̔͌̐͜͝o̴̴̸̢̦͖̪͉͎̦͐͌ͦ̒̒̀ͦ̀̿͌͘͜y̸̪͇̙̔͝e̴̸̴̡̝͕̠̫̝̟̿̔ͤ̿̒ͤ̽̓͘͜r̸̸̵͖̼̫͓͉̝̫͌̓̽ͬ̽͛̐ͬ̾̈́͆͜ o̴̴̴̝̺̦̺̪̙͑̐̔ͦ̽͐ͦ͊̐̒͠f̴̼͍͖͑̀͘ W̸͔̻̒̿͐͜ö̵̸̸̡̢̠̫͉̺͎͚̪́̓͌ͦ͛ͦ̈́̔͛͝r̴̴̵̢̼̦͍̼͙͙̐ͬ͌̔̈́ͬ͋̽͘͘͝l̵̟̞̘͊͒͒d̴̴̴̡̫̞͔̟̪̟̾͋̀ͩ̐̒́ͩ͆͝͠s̸̝̺̪͑͌̽͛͛, Č̵̦̘̠̋͂́͘͜͝u̸͇͒̀̈̊͘ͅr̶̰̰̒̏͆̚s̶̤͍͚͓͖̈́̈́̃̈́e̴̡̡̛̱̰͍̱ͅ ̸̨̢̻̩̙̦͕̎̍̅̊̕͠ö̸͓͚́̄̏f̷̧̧̠̟͚̻̀̉̆̓͘͝ ̸͔̒t̷͓̘̭͇̻̮̓̈́͘h̵̨̡͓̱͖̼͍͒̔̃̾̂͠e̵̘̦̜͓̿́ ̸͖͍̯̒̇̿̂͘Ṁ̵̢̹̤̉a̶̯̳̣͗̓̊̆̒͝r̸͖͖̭̱͎̆̀̔̈́͗t̴̢͌͋y̵͍̭͎̮͔̪̔̍͑̂r̵͔̹̗͋̎̈́̇̔̌́ ̵̯͓̜͚̘̿̈́̌̀̌͘͝

Body 43 +

Myst 137 +

Nerve 47 +

Abilities: Mystic Trigger

4 Ability Points remaining.

Jeb reached out toward the plus sign next to the Body stat. If he didn’t reinforce his Body Right NOW, he and everyone else was dead mea-

A shadow passed over him, and Jeb could make out a flicker of the undead kitri woman’s clothing. Jeb was not in a position to dodge, block, nor Myst the problem away. all of those actions would cause him to split open with nuclear fire like overripe fruit. An overripe nuclear fruit.

Well, shit.

Jeb decided to race her to the punch, reaching for the plus sign anyway.

Maybe she’ll only cut off a limb instead of my neck.

CLANG!

Out of the corner of Jeb’s eye, he spotted Vresh’s leather pants, standing between him and the undead assailant.

“You don’t look so good, Jeb,” her velvety voice barely made it past the beat of his strained heart drumming in his ears, causing him to chuckle. It seems like I never look so good around you. Ow, laughing hurts.

Jeb pressed the plus sign beside Body four times.

Confirm?

Doi!

Jeb mentally jabbed YES!

“I swear I’m not trying to look helpless,” Jeb said as he caught his breath, the nuclear blush receding. The extra Body barely keeping it in check.

I need to get the goddamn nuclear splinter out of my fifth dimensional body before I have another episode, or we’re gonna have a problem.

It seemed as though he’d stumbled across his ignition point.

Jeb cleared his throat and shoved himself upright, scanning for evil old bird women.

With the introduction of Vresh, the undead immediately changed tactics. The two remaining intelligent undead broke in two different directions, forcing Jeb and Vresh to choose one.

Vresh sprinted after the one she’d blocked, a flurry of blows aimed at the giant pidgeon, who warded them off with a dense shield of purple Myst that seemed to cause Vresh to miss more than it actually deflected her sword strokes. Lavender? Maroon? I blame my color-ineptitude on my penis.

The undead Damsel kept the sword at bay, but she simply wasn’t as fast as the ex-Enforcer, who cut through the smoke and rubble like the prow of a ship, her legs a blur of motion underneath her hips as she closed the distance, each portalled strike growing closer than the last.

Jeb could tell Vresh was going to win that one, so he looked toward the leader, who was already sprinting away to the west at highway speeds, the same direction the rather unobservant maid had bolted with Casey 3.

Shit!

Jeb picked himself up with Myst and launched his ass toward the undead, gaining on her in a matter of seconds.

From Jeb’s vantage point, he could see the three stooges acting as a buffer, patrolling the block, culling the tide of shambling corpses and preventing them from reinforcing the damsels.

The maid had already escaped containment and Jeb could make out her carrying Casey past the slow corpses, flipping and jumping over slow tackles like the Michael Vick Experience.

Kolusk, the keegan Daredevil’s eyes widened as the little old lady approached like a freight train, literally slapping the slender alien out of the way with brute force.

That kid needs more Nerve, Jeb thought as he closed in from above, weaving another net of fire. If it worked once, Jeb had no reason to change it up.

Jeb slammed into the ground between the damsel and the maid, intercepting the undead leader a short ways from Casey 3, his hand held up, and sporting a smug grin spoiled by the blood between his teeth.

Another one in the bag.

Wait.

This is gonna curse me again, is it? Is it gonna blow me up?

Jeb hesitated.

The undead Kitri dropped into a slide tackle, and before Jeb could blink, slipped into a channel of softened earth, burrowing under his feet and emerging out of the ground behind him at a dead sprint, not losing an ounce of speed.

Best effort!

Jeb gritted his teeth. If I die, I die, my ‘best effort’ demands nothing less. He swung around, hug-seeking net of white fire launching from the palm of his hand.

All he saw between the lines of fire was Casey the third being held in front of the undead, the year-old girl red faced and fussing.

Every instinct at war with his given Word, Jeb grabbed the net of fire with his Myst and wrenched it up over Casey’s head, singeing some of the hairs on the baby’s crown.

“My master will be pleased with this sacrifice.” The rotting kitri intoned.

An eyeblink later, she and the baby plunged into liquid earth like a still pond, vanishing instantly.

Damnit! DAMNIT!

Jeb’s teeth clenched as he reached into the ground and tore up large segments of earth, flinging them aside as he searched for the undead and his ward, his telekinetic Myst functioning as an excavator big enough to give a modern contractor an erection.

Too little, too late. The undead had a way to swim underground like a goddamn dolphin, and she’d been saving it for the endgame.

…wait.

Jeb’s ‘best effort’ was now tugging him in a different direction, and it took a moment before he understood what it was, because it ran counter to his policy of not using children as bait.

I can track Casey Jr….

Well, that assassin guy can. And if he can figure out where Casey 3. is going, then we can ‘deliver’ an ass whooping and save Casey 3 in the process. ‘Best effort’ approved.

Jeb’s Myst relaxed, dropping the massive chunk of rock onto the cobbled street, shaking the ground beneath his hovering foot.

Speed.

Jeb flew over to where Vresh stood over a pile of quivering, smouldering chunks of burnt flesh. A few smoking feathers were all that indicated it might have once been a kitri.

She was bent over, hacking and spitting like she’d tasted something foul.

“Ugh,” Vresh said. “That was…unique.” She shuddered.

“Death curse?” Jeb asked as he landed next to her.

“Indeed, death curses are typically rare among undead, but Damsels themselves are incredibly rare, more so undead ones. We can expect each of them to have some form of penalty or curse for killing them. Thankfully we can have them purged by a priestess of the appropriate lev- EEEP!”

Vresh’s words were cut off by a squeal as he looped a strand of telekinetic Myst around her center of gravity.

“We got maybe…fifteen minutes to put in motion a rescue,” Jeb said, budding three more strings of Myst and snagging the three college students off the ground.

“Hey!” Jeresh shouted as he picked her up. Piwaki squawked awkwardly, and Kolusk groaned clutching his temple.

“I thought she was gonna rip your head off, man,” Piwaki said, a tendril of his Myst emerging from his finger and entering Kolusk’s head. “I’ll take care of the swelling.”

Kolusk’s dazed look cleared a bit as he floated up beside the rest of them.

“Daredevils get a huge passive resistance to blunt force trauma from fast moving objects, or stationary objects while moving fast,” the keegan said, giving them a thumb’s up. “She slapped me just hard enough for it to count. If she’d been any gentler with me, I’d be dead.”

“That’s what he said,” Piwaki said with a soft honk, still busily healing his friend.

“Saved by being stupid and reckless again,” Jeresh said rolling her eyes. “How many times does this make now?”

Kolusk began counting on his fingers while Jeb tuned them out, aiming for the emperor’s bunker.

He needed to make a phone call.

***Jeb***

“No, that doesn’tsound good,” Jeb said into Borg’s rotting palm, where the mad scientist had put a microphone for some ungodly reason. “What I wanna know is what you think happened.”

“Well, I think there’s a couple possibilities,” Eddie said, his voice emanating from Borg’s unhinged jaw. The two of them were sitting in the middle of Borg’s high-security cell overlooked by several angry-looking Melas.

The emperor wasn’t taking chances with undead again.

“Your total Myst passed above three times your body, which may have been significant, or perhaps simply the Myst solely generated by the nuke crossed some other threshold we’re not aware of. Either way…”

“I’m in trouble if it happens again.”

“Indeed. You’re actually lucky that curse took everything down evenly. If you hadn’t gotten those levels, or it had only taken down Body…”

I’d be screwed.Jeb thought

“There is one good thing I noticed that leads me to believe it’s hinged on your total Myst and not simply the amount that’s been growing like a tumor.”

“What’s that?”

“Your stats, governed by the System, are able to ward off the explosion. I believe if the two were entirely separate, then raising your Body in that critical moment wouldn’t have done anything. I figure if you raise your Body some more, you can buy some more time.”

“Thanks, I already figured that ou-“

Jeb paused. He had only been putting levels into raising his Body. He hadn’t been making Deals, I.E. scamming people out of lots of material wealth to keep his Body stat afloat.

I don’t have time for that, damnit! Jeb was on his Best Effort to kill the undead, and he could already feel the compulsion to drop this conversation for something more productive.

There is one thing I could try.

“Eddie, give me everything you own in exchange for me saying something nice about you. Deal?”

“What?” Eddie’s voice raised an octave.

“Don’t worry, I’ll lease it back to you.”

“Oh. OOOH.” Eddie’s voice flooded with understanding. “Okay, Deal.”

“Eddie, you’re the best human scientist working on Myst-based technology I’ve ever met.”

“Aww.”

“And I’ll expect three bulbs every month from you for staying in my lab and using my tools. You know I can enforce that.”

“Shit.”

Eddie’s defeated tone filled him with a tingling sensation of a Deal well done.

Error. Recalculating Body. 47 à49

Jeb made a mental note to sell Eddie’s lab back to him for fair market value so he didn’t lose the Impact of it’s value.

“You’re a good friend for doing that, Eddie, now I gotta go see the Emperor about a girl. The metaphorical clock is ticking.”

“Later, Jeb. I would wish you luck, but if you die I don’t have to pay you extortion money for my own stuff, sooo…”

“Understood,” Jeb said, pressing the hang-up button under Borg’s rib.

The phone call bought him a little bit of safety buffer. Not much but enough to satisfy his ‘best effort condition.

Goddamn I’m never making a promise like that again.

“So,” Borg said, his jaw snapping back into place to cover the speaker in his mouth. “When are they gonna let me outta here?” He asked.

“Umm…..” Jeb’s eyes drifted to the guards, who shook their heads with slow, deliberate menace.

“Probably not soon, huh?” Borg asked.

“I’ll ask,” Jeb said. He certainly wouldn’t give it his best effort, though.

“It’s fine. In fifteen hours thirty six minutes and twelve seconds, I’ll subdue the guards and escape before finding you.”

“No killing,” Jeb said, holding up a finger. “That’s an order.”

“I thought you’d say that. It will be nonlethal.”

“Also they can hear you,” Jeb pointed over his shoulder at the guards, who looked ready to throw down, having heard Borg’s escape itinerary.

“So?” Borg looked genuinely confused.

“Well, I’m out,” Jeb said, clapping his hands and making a ‘I wash my hands of this’ motion. The guards still frisked him on the way out, both physically and magically.

Internally Jeb was screaming at the delay, but on the outside he played it cool

Letting TSA know you were impatient was the surest way to get them to dick with you.

Back when they existed, I suppose.

It wasn’t toolong before Jeb made it back to the emperor, still sitting in his throne, looking a bit more exhausted than before, even.

“Jebediah trapper, I hear you’ve already put two of my former brides down.”

“They were a lot older than you, weren’t they?” Jeb wondered aloud.

“It was a political position,” Pikaku gave a tired shrug. “Now, you sent word that you’d like to use a class that tracks people down. Undead cannot be reliably tracked using System based abilities. The curse of undeath exists outside the bounds of that framework.”

“Right, but the undead took a hostage about…” Jeb consulted his watch and hissed. “Eighteen minutes ago. The hostage isn’t an undead and probably won’t be for some time. We can track her.”

“What makes you think they didn’t simply eat your hostage the moment you dropped your pursuit?”

“Because it was Casey the third,” Jeb said, watching the Emperor’s shoulders stiffen. “They’re going to want to feed her to their master.”

“You’re right. And if their master no longer lairs in Mestikos, then we may be able to catch them in time.”

“Exactly,” Jeb said.

“I will give you access to one of the empire’s most decorated heroes.”

Ooh, sounds good.

“A man of integrity and will who has put himself at the disposal of the Empire and has personally rescued of dozens upon dozens of our citizens, ranging from everyday farmers, to political prisoners and even Enforcers lost in the Death Wilds. If Casey the third is still alive, he can find her. And fast.”

Jeb’s heart was starting to rattle hard against his ribcage. This was exactly what he needed.

A implosion of silver Myst surrounded the emperor as he spoke.

“Kol Rejan.”

Wait a minute.

The large double doors in the room creaked open as the assassin who’d tried really hard to kill him the year before wandered through the door in his underclothes, looking a bit confused.

“That’s odd, this is supposed to be my closet, and – You!“ His entire body froze when he spotted Jeb, his hand reaching for a concealed weapon until he spotted the Emperor behind him.

“Do you two know each other?” Emperor Pikaku asked.

Jeb, unable to lie, fielded the question very carefully.

“Yes, we’ve worked together before. I’ll let Kol go into the details for your emperorship.”

Kol, reading the situation in a fraction of a second, plastered a fake keegan smile on his skeletal face.

“Yes, Jeb and I have met. Forgive my aggressive stance, the transition between here and there was disorienting.”

The two stood there, fake smiling at each other to the best of their abilities.

“So…Hero of the empire…you never told me about that. Seems pretty prestigious. You must be a greatperson. Very law abiding.”

Subtext - Behave or I’ll spill everything about your moonlighting to the emperor.

Kol’s eyebrow twitched.

“I’m not so great. I Simply use what my class gave me to better our country.” Kol said, waving a hand to encompass the empire.

“Enough pleasantries,” the emperor said, accepting some stationary from a servant and jotting a quick note on it. “We don’t have a spare second. Kol, you will deliver this to Casey Thompson the Third, and retrieve her. You will be paid five times your usual fee upon delivery of the child.”

He oriented on Jeb.

“Jeb, your task will be to kill any of your targets that are with her. Especially if it’s your primary target.”

“Understood.” Kol and Jeb said simultaneously, glancing askance at each other.

“Go.” The emperor pointed at the door with a claw, but the two were already moving.

Jeb wanted to ask why the emperor didn’t simply summon Casey 3, but he already knew why.

Because then they would lose their shot at finding his father’s hiding spot.