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Not a chapter: Author Bio (Patreon)

Published:
2021-01-29 04:29:05
Imported:
2021-03

Content

So I need to make an author bio for Amazon, especially once book 2 comes out, or I'm basically shooting myself in the foot. People wanna follow my author page, which doesn't exist yet. To that end, i'm making an author Bio, and I want it to be jazzy.

I noticed that the vast majority of LitRPG authors are middle aged white dudes, so I decided to poke some fun at it.

Let me know via polling and comments how I did. VVV

***BIO***

I could tell you that Macronomicon's LitRPG author is a middle class, middle age white dude with a generic wife and a generic pet who lives somewhere acceptably rural....but aren't they all?


Screw that! There's Author Bios and then there's Mythos.

Welcome to the Mythos of Macronomicon. 

He isn't just a boring white middle aged guy with a pet...He's THE middle class, middle aged white guy living rural with a doting wife and pet. All other middle aged white dudes with pets/wives living in the middle of nowhere are pale imitations. You know who you are.


The pen-name is almost three years old now, having first been born on the open-mic writing website RoyalRoad. The pen-name burst from the cocoon of blissful ignorance and deposited his first humble contribution to the world of writing, tired and sticky, yet satisfied. Blissful in the knowledge it would be warmly received by thousands of potential  fans, and more importantly...friends.


the first comment was, 'can you, I don't know, make the main character less stupid?'


Was that enough to discourage Macronomicon from writing? Retreat back into his womb of zero-criticiscm? Darn close! Only with the advise of other, more experienced pen-names, was Macronomicon able to resist the urge to start a flame war and instead focus on advancing his craft.


Macronomicon has no actual weight, because he is a pen-name, and while his existence is ephemeral and weightless, it often lurks on Discord, waiting to suck the nourishing ideas out of unfortunate fans. 


Macronomicon once outlined the plot of an entire book from start to finish sitting in a room with nothing but cheerios, beef jerky, Pepsi and B.O. (Quality of plot notwithstanding)


Macronomicon also once smote a guy named Roger, although this is unrelated.


Comments

Anonymous

Great but far from adverage lol

Russell

advise->advice, also you refer to the pen name variably as 'he' and 'it'. Still, I like the different style.

Judah Frankel

Nice! Suggest adding something like “Macronomicon spends inordinate amounts of time considering possible ways to turn himself into an eldritch abomination.” Because seriously, a lot of your characters end up becoming eldritch abominations of one stripe or another. Friendly ones, but still.

Anonymous

I got a kick out of it. Love that you didn't take yourself too seriously on there. As a not yet, but quickly approaching, middle-aged white man who has two animals and a normal average life, you've got my seal of approval

Davvy chappie

Where is opinion 5 im here just to anwser a poll

Arnon Parenti

Please let a professional do it, there are people out there who's whole job is doing commercial bios for people. I love everything you write, but a bio is part of your marketing strategy and since both books are not meant for teenagers you want this riny intro to be polished. Consult or hire a pro biographist so it doesn't blow up in our faces.

Arnon Parenti

Write it like you would write a one page intro about Karen, she isn't the main character but she ties everything else together.

Anonymous

You also need to link to your Facebook page, and Instagram. You also need a Facebook page and Instagram. You should also promote in the litrpg groups.

A disgruntled nondescript squirrel

So our savior and archetype has revealed himself at last finally the cult of the middle life crisis can begin its work once more to spread his averageness to all middle aged white guys

Macronomicon
>>52427810

Are you saying I should be careful to avoid stepping on any toes or inviting blowback on myself?

Deinos

I would vote the first option if the third option's first part wouldn't be so funny. Yes I'm easily impressed. Also your wife must've loved the generic part.

Anonymous

Yeah, kind of my point. You should have at least an author page on Facebook that points back to buying your book. There is also nothing wrong with free advertising. The litrpg Facebook page has 16,000 litrpg fans. The rules for authors can be a bit much, but that is a lot of potential sales. I wouldn't recommend staying on Facebook all day, but 10 minutes here and there promoting your book could be a lot of sales.

Anonymous

Could use sated instead of satisfied. Advice not advise. Awkward wording of first sentence. Maybe: I could tell you that Macronomicon is a LitRPG author who is a middle class, middle aged white dude with a generic wife, a generic pet and lives somewhere acceptably rural....but aren't they all?

Anonymous

I like the general idea a lot, though it does start to drag on in the humble-beginnings paragraphs (from "The pen name..." to "...advancing his craft.") . If you want to include that info, you might try switching up the tone a bit so it doesn't feel like a single joke that has run it's course. Or, if you don't mind condensing it, you could try something along the lines of "Once a simple screen name for scribbling web comics, Macronomicon has since grown into the Amazon-published author of world renown that you see before you today!" The "grown" bit might even be played on a little harder to lead into your next line about not actually having any weight.

Terry Stevens

Needs to make the “Pale imitation” more epic, more dark and most of all, more sexy in a basement nerdy sort of way. You know, just be yourself. Only, don’t tell anyone that you still keep the real author in chains, in your chest freezer, occasionally sucking his/her/hir creativity out like a hipster vampire. Or Maculat.

Anonymous

I think it's a bit wishy-washy and can be tightened for brevity and impact. 1. Start with "Welcome to the Mythos" everything before that is intro and setup you don't need. 2. the second paragraph on RR only need the first sentence, the rest is fiddle-faddle. 3. If you're not gonna actually tell us about you, (real name, location, age, etc.) then you could lean into that, and play up the mystery of 'Who is Macronomicon?'

DevilHeart77

I think if you want to come across as a serious, professional author humor isn't the wrong way to go but maybe shift it more towards serious with humor to poke fun at the commonality of it? Tell us who you are in all seriousness but still make us laugh.

Anonymous

The LitRPG groups set up by Aleron Kong can be pretty restrictive on author posts, but there's others that are more welcoming. I like 'LitRPG Books' (9.9k members) run by Magic Dome Books but very welcome of all LITRPG authors. And 'GameLit Society' (9.8k members) is very open. These groups are full of hardcore readers rabid for new books. You would not believe how many people were recommending AGS in these groups when it came out.

iloverugs

Can you, I don’t know, make the author sound less stupid?

Godlyskeleton

Write it as if you’re writing one for of your characters. This one doesn’t capture your wit, and style, although the part about roger was the best bit!

SunderGoldmane

You know, that first comment about making the main character less stupid REALLY informs your viewpoint for all the crazy meta breaking shit your characters do lol.

Anonymous

Also, there is a growing theory that you are just a different author writing under a different name. Not that I believe that, or would pay for your patreon if I did believe that. You are a very talented author and deserve your own credit. Average middle age white guy or not.

Anonymous

Facebook. Is where I heard it. Admitly only the one time thou.

Anonymous
>>52964005

Finally found where I saw it. Was a comment on a post where someone else,, not me this time recommend your book.. Tim Wade "it is a book and a fantastic one. Started on Royal Road, I think. Well worth the read if you haven't already. I was initially put off by the "parody of apocalypse" description. So glad I was "desperate" and tried it anyway. Predominate theory is that it is an established writer writing under a pseudonym. The story raps up well, but still opens up more avenues for follow ups. I would be interested in seeing more. "

Anonymous

I think you should say, I AM the pet with the middle aged white guy and his doting food provider/wife. We live in an acceptably rural area where good nature smells abound. He is pretty well trained, I bark and he writes what I bark at him. To the comment, "can you, I don't know, make the main character less stupid?" I am trying to write realistic humans. And if you feel this is unbelievable and slightly ridiculous, I've told you more about my writing than any long diatribe would give you.

Anonymous

I think you should own your race and culture and make it known that you consider it an enviable birthright. You ARE the great white middle aged god of litrpg. I'm tired of the ridiculous anti-white racist bullshit as well as the anti-American culture bullshit. Be proud of all that you and your forefathers accomplished, indeed an argument could be made that up to this point they are the pinnacle. Are you man enough to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune...?

Anonymous

The things we think and say frequently become our reality.

Anonymous

P.S. America is the best and any who claim otherwise are fooling themselves. -_-