Chapter 170: Lightning 101 (Patreon)

“So I feel like an idiot asking you this,” Goob said, looking at Baroke up and down. The musclebrained idiot flexing with every movement he made as they walked down the hard-packed streets of the Juntai market.

They both spoke passable ILethan, so they got along okay.

“-but what do normal girls want in a guy?”

Baroke’s eyes darted from the chewy shikva treats he’d been eating to Goob, then down to himself, then back to Goob.”

“Aside from seven feet of height and a body sculpted by the gods themselves?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, it’s a lot of things, all jumbled up in a confusing web, but if I had to roll a bunch of the traits women like into a ball and slap a label on it, I’d say…consistency.”

“Consistency? Explain.”

“Well,” Baroke paused as he picked a bit of sticky shikva out of his teeth. “When someone tells you they’re gonna do something, and you’re relying on it, and then they don’t do it, that sucks right?”

“Yeah.”

“So someone who consistently does what they say they’re gonna do, someone who consistently gets their work done, someone who consistently works out four hours every day. That kind of person finds success with women.”

“That last one seems pointed,” Goob said, nodding at Baroke.

“I’d be a beanpole if I didn’t work out every day. Or fat.” Baroke said.

“I think I get it.”

“Don’t worry about it. Sooner or later you’ll run across a non-imaginary monster who likes you for you.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of,” Goob said, shuddering. He needed to get rid of the Yandere magnet skill somehow. Sure, the skill seemed to offer ways to improve his survival and gain a modicum of control over the situation but it was still scary dangerous.

If Tom found out that he’d spent the night with Kim, the soup elemental would beat him up, scald him to death, or drown him…possibly all three.

But everyone he asked said you couldn’t get rid of a skill, only counteract it. Goob needed a Yandere Repellant skill, he needed it higher than Yandere Magnet, and he needed it soon.

But you’re already fifth Break! He thought to himself, bashing his head to Baroke’s surprise. Goob had his limits expanded rapidly as part of a wartime effort to repel the creatures invading Gadvera, and it didn’t leave much room to learn new Skills and choose a different path in life. He would have to get involved in one or more full-scale national battles just to have a chance of fixing his horrible Skill.

In the meantime, it keeps going up.

Yandere Magnet has reached level 6! 30% correction.

Goob’s eyes widened, and he glanced around the crowded marketplace. There! skulking from rooftop to rooftop was the particularly curvy silhouette of Kim Curdashian.

There! A fraction of a second later, Goob glanced down and made eye contact with a Juntai woman who seemed to be staring at him.

Crap. Goob closed his eyes and turned away, doing his absolute best to prevent another stalker.

“You wouldn’t let anything bad happen to me, would you?” Goob asked Baroke. The looming older teen took a street skewer out of his mouth to respond.

“As a general rule, no, but why? Did you do something bad?”

“Not bad, per se, it-“ Goob felt a hand land on his shoulder and a woman’s voice in his ear.

“Excuse me, are you-“

Goob felt his body give a strangled squawk and start running before he’d even had time to process the input.

Goob used every ounce of his power speeding down the street at full speed, as the sounds of combat and pursuit began to bloom behind him.

“You don’t touch him, you hussy!” Slap!

“-Bro, fight me for Kim’s honor!”

Goob didn’t remember anything after that.

***Baroke***

“Huh,” Baroke grunted as the scrawny dweeb bolted as soon as a woman touched him.

That running thing is gonna be a problem for finding a normal girl.

Shortly afterward, Kim Curdashian jumped down off the roof above them and pounced on the woman who’d tapped Goob on the shoulder, laying a solid slap on the woman’s face, and angling to do more.

In the meantime, Tom Soup launched a sneak attack, trying to chase down Goob and challenge him to a duel for Kim’s honor.

“Huh.”

Baroke tucked his skewer in his mouth, freeing his hand to fling Kim off the hapless civilian. He put his palm on her center of gravity, and with bit of effort, the furious abomination was sent tumbling into the sky.

If Baroke’s aim was good, and it was always good, She would land in a pile of Tarak guano he’d seen on the way into the city, just outside of the city itself.

Baroke took the skewer out of his mouth, dragging the meat off with his teeth before flicking the wooden spike at Tom Soup.

The skewer exploded through the elemental’s body and buried itself in the hard-packed earth, disappearing from sight after leaving a gaping hole in Tom’s side.

The wound wasn’t critical, matter of fact, it was closing up already, but it served his purpose. It got the man’s attention.

“Get outta here,” Baroke said, pointing his thumb westerly, in Kim’s direction.

Tom considered his wound for a moment, then the tiny hole in the earth, before the bright red geyser of steaming tomato soup ran for it.

“You haven’t seen the last of me, bro!”

Sheesh, Baroke thought, rolling his eyes before glancing down at the woman who’d been assaulted by Goob’s creation. There’s a limit to letting kids deal with their own mistakes, Calvin. You can’t claim that Goob’s ‘problems’ aren’t affecting anyone else now.

Baroke glanced up from the slapped woman, gaze trying to pick out the scrawny kid in the crowd. It wasn’t hard. Goob had run head-first into a Juntai guardsman, noticeable by the green sashes over their shoulders, fine weaponry and copper bracers.

Like the civilians, though, they didn’t wear a whole lot of clothing, or armor, meaning their hearts were unguarded. In a fraction of a second, Baroke considered and dismissed a handful of different ways to kill these people involving simple household objects: a habit that was beginning to form from a life fraught with violence.

Goob was lying in front of one of the guardsmen, with another six approaching.

The mood in the market froze over in an instant, going from lively trade to tense silence in the space of a hushed comment.

Now, Baroke thought as the market began to empty around him. It everyone hiding because of the abominations or because of the guardsmen? There had been an altercation moments ago.

Baroke’s eyes narrowed as the Juntai guardsman helped Goob to his feet while the other ones approached Baroke.

The crowd was all but gone, retracting from the guardsmen like a living thing shies away from fire as they approached.

“Friends,” The lead guardsman said in fluent Ilethan with a slimy smile. “While in Allast, feel free to see the sights, avail yourselves of the local cuisine and culture. We’re rather proud of it, after all. But please, refrain from starting pitched battles in the center of the city. If it happens again, we’ll have to hold you somewhere you can’t disturb the peace until our leaders finish talks.”

Baroke chewed the last bit of his skewer meat and swallowed, clearing his mouth.

“You got it, boss. Won’t happen again.” Baroke glanced down at Goob, who was holding a bloody nose from where he’d run into the man’s washboard abs. Come on, Goob.”

“just you,” The Guardsman said, putting a hand on Goob’s shoulder. “This young one will spend the night in lockup.” He pointed at Baroke. “You stopped it, and quite gracefully at that, so you get a warning, but this one, This one started it, and struck an officer of the guard, and so requires a bit more than a warning.”

Baroke raised an eyebrow as Goob’s expression turned fearful, glancing back and forth between the Juntai guardsmen and the towering archer.

“I don’t mind if you want to put him in a cell for a night to teach him a lesson,” Baroke held up a finger.

“But, he’s our leader’s apprentice, so use a light touch.”

The guardsman raised a brow “how does your master feel about caning?”

“Use a light one to keep the damage minimal, avoid the eyes, ears and genitals, and release him the next day, I’m sure he’d be fine with it.”

“Baroke!” Goob shouted, aghast.

“Goob, your crazy stalker lady, who you made, got someone hurt.” Baroke said, pointing at the woman with the slowly bruising cheek who ducked behind a wooden table as their attention focused on her. “I’ve gotten a beating from my dad for a lot less.”

“No, you don’t understand, it’s not my fault it’s this stupid Skiiiilllll!” Goob’s protests faded away as he was hauled away by the guardsmen to meet his fate.

Goob would survive a caning.

Baroke didn’t want any more trouble than necessary, so he watched until the men had turned the corner before facing the nearest market vendor, grabbing the man’s attention by looming over him. Maya said he was really good at looming.

“Why everyone fear of them? Baroke asked in ilethan.

“Why ask that?” the man said in ilethan, “No fear them. they good.” The man started scrubbing his grill. “Keep order, make juntai strong. Without them we suffer greatly.”

Baroke glanced down at the mostly clean grill that the man was currently sawing away at with manic intensity while he babbled about how good the guardsmen where.

“Right. Understood,” Baroke said with a nod. Calvin wasn’t as socially dull as he used to be, so he’d probably notice something was seriously uncomfortable about this country right away.

Unless… Baroke sighed. Unless he discovered a new kind of magic.

***Calvin***

So how does the Juntai lightning work exactly? You said a single Juntai warrior could probably power a train. I want to know if there was a way I could do it, too.

You want the long answer or the short one? Scratch that, I don’t have time to give you a six-month course in the basics. Electricity is the flow of charged electrons, every substance in the world has electrons, but copper has electrons that are particularly easy to…get flowing, if you’ll pardon the oversimplification.

Now, when a magnetic field – that’s lodestone for you savages – passes by copper, it forces the electrons to flow, which is what creates electricity.

So lightning is from copper in the air passing by lodestone?

What? NO! I said there’s electrons in everything, even the air. The water in the air, specifically. That’s static electricity, which is a whole different ball of wax. For now let’s just focus on magnetism and how it creates electrical current.

Elliot continued to lecture Calvin on the properties of electricity, but most of it didn’t make any sense to him, as the only ‘electricity’ he’d even seen was lightning, and everyone just called it Vashniel’s Arrow.

For the love of – you know what? Take that guy’s bracer.

Calvin used Dupdomancy, manifesting an identical creation in his palm, effectively stealing it without actually doing so.

Wuss. Alright. You see how the whole bracer is actually one coil of wire? Elliot asked.

Yeah, Calvin thought, tracing the coil with his finger, locating the hidden coil tucked on the inside where the end was drawn up from the back to meet the lead wire, the two of them almost touching.

These two wires here and here at the corners of the palm are where the electricity is gonna come out and work is going to happen…

Elliot continued talking at length about the details of the bracer and how they worked.

As Elliot spoke, Calvin had a niggling idea.

Bring up Trait Doctoring, Calvin thought. He had been sitting on three choices for his Trait Doctoring Skill for months now, unwilling to commit to anything that might wind up being useless.

In Juntai however, being able to control ‘Electricity’, or more accurately, the physical properties of the objects they were using to generate electricity, meant being able to shut them down at a moments notice.

Calvin reviewed his options, which had grown to be almost too many to list since he’d achieved level 15 in Trait Doctoring.

Magnetism is the lodestone one, right?

Yeah.

I choose Conductivity, Magnetism, and It’s Opposite Day.

Calvin blew all three of the points he’d been holding onto, grabbing Conductivity and Magnetism for their syngergy with each other, and Opposite day because it would allow him to use opposite properties to stand in for ingredients he might not have.

The back of Calvin’s head felt like it was crawling with ants for a moment before the world started fading around him.

User will be rendered Unconscious during the Mutation.

Calvin opened his eyes again, habitually checking the sun overhead. Only a few minutes for that Mutation. He was still a little leery of mutating, but nothing bad had happened since the eye-debacle, and he made sure Elliot double checked all of them before he took each new mutation.

So what are you planning on doing? Elliot asked, Making a generator out of wood or something like that?

Something like that, Calvin thought, slipping the palm-sized bar of lodestone from his belt.

Trait Doctoring.

It’s Opposite Day!

Magnetism.

45/46 bent Remaining.

Calvin chose the leather of his belt as the donator of magnetism, and The lodestone in his hand as the recipient.

Normally this would make the lodestone cease to be a lodestone at all, suddenly as nonmagnetic as a scrap of leather, but Calvin’s mutation made something entirely different happen.

The mutation measured the difference in magnetism between the two, then pushed the recipient in the opposite direction. The scrap of leather had significantly less magnetism, so the lodestone received significantly more.

Uh, what are you doing?

Trying something out.

Calvin fished out a copper coin and repeated the process with its conductivity, giving the copper coin the opposite of the difference in conductivity between it and the leather of his belt.

The copper coin took on a strange, shimmering hue.

Calvin, If you’re thinking about doing what I’m thinking you’re thinking about doing, you’re scaring me.

It’ll probably be fine, Calvin thought

Trait Doctoring.

Calvin changed the conductivity of the air in front of him to match that of the enhanced copper coin, then he hauled back on the palm-sized lodestone, aiming to throw it through the enhanced air.

Wait, wait wait!

Calvin threw with everything he had.

The lodestone shot out three feet before it impacted something, creating a tiny web of lighting for an instant before it began to slowly fall to the ground, tiny bolts of crackling lightning easing it gently to the ground.

Oh right, I forgot. Magnetic dampening.

What’s that?

Well, when you’re making the electricity, the energy has to come from somewhere, right? In this case, kinetic energy is being turned into electrical energy. The force of your throw is dampened, in exchange for the electricity it creates. It looks like a little forcefield, doesn’t it?

It sure does, Calvin thought, his mind soaring with ideas.

What if we –

Make an enchantment that magnetizes attacks and puts them through a barrier of copper-ed air, converting their kinetic energy to electrical energy and serving it back to them as lightning? I’m already working on it, dude.

Nice, Calvin thought, picking up the lodestone, hauling back to throw it again.

Shifting.

43/46 Bent Remaining

Wait, Wai-

Calvin threw the lodestone forward and unloaded every ounce of weight from the earth around him into it.

The lodestone flew forward in the center of a crackling nimbus of lightning that sent seeking tendrils of lightning in every direction, scorching trees and bushes in the area until the lodestone plowed through a thick jungle tree. Calvin was able to remove its mass just in time for it to come out the back of the tree, before it buried itself dozens of feet of soil.

If it were any stronger, you might’ve killed yourself, and if it were any drier in this damn jungle, you would have started a forest fire. Elliot grumbled as Calvin retrieved the lodestone. It was hot to the touch, nearly scalding as it rested in his hand.

I’ve got another idea.

Trait Doctoring.

Trait Doctoring.

Shifting.

40/46 Bent remaining.

Calvin breathed in and exhaled with all the force he could muster, making the roiling air he exhaled a potent mixture of magnetic, conductive, and weighing several tons.

A bolt of lightning erupted from Calvin’s mouth, impacting the same tree with a blow that was at once physical and energetic, burning the wood to ash while simultaneously bowling it over from the sheer force of the heavy air.

Trait Doctoring Has reached level 18!

Shifting has reached level 18!

Shifting level 18: 84% shift, 18 minutes, targets limited to 5832 pounds in mass.

Ella, sparring with Grant behind him, picked herself off the ground, brushed bits of flaming wood off her hide shirt before staring at him with a gaping jaw.

“You just breathed lightning.” Ella finally spoke the obvious for the rest of Calvin’s onlooking army, obviously expecting some kind of answer.

“AA UUU A AAa.” – I burned my tongue - Calvin responded.

Hahahah! Awesome! Nobody is as crazy as us when it comes to being irresponsible with magic! Now I need to teach you how to make a stronger magnet, not that baby lodestone!