Chapter 13: Guy’s Shopping Trip (Patreon)

Quest Complete!

Visit your local Exchange Hall for monetary Quest Reward disbursement.

+1500 XP

You are now a level 5 Resourceful Climber!

William Oh

Resourceful Climber Level 5

6 Strength

15 Kinesthetics

18 Resistance

10 Focus

15 Acuity

Charges: 4/10

Free Points: 1

Primary Abilities: Aspect of the Goat, Phantom Hand

Ability Upgrade Available!

“GAH!”

Will sat up in a familiar bed.

“Dear gods no.” Will muttered, taking in the orphanage’s plain walls. He was back here.

He checked his Charge. Four out of ten. 40% of a week, or roughly three days unconscious.

He remembered up until the point they started stitching the wounds on his back.

That poppy milk packed a punch.

“Feeling better?” Gertrude asked from where she loomed in the corner.

“It hurts to breathe,” Will said.

“So much for constantly not writhing in pain.” Gertrude said.

“You’re still on about that?” Will asked, wincing as he carefully slid his legs out of bed, moving with all the speed of a drunken tortoise.

“You were brought back here by your friends.”

“I have friends?” Will asked, locating a crutch in the corner of the room that had been conveniently modified to be used without a hand. there was a leather loop to slip his wrist through instead.

He leaned forward and grabbed it, biting back a cry of pain as the stitches all across his body pulled tight.

“Four of them. A large boy, a noble, a young woman and a kobold.”

“Oh them. Will mused as he climbed to his feet. “I thought the poppy-milk made them up. Like the talking skeleton.”

“No, they’re real. Although it is very strange to see a kobold this far outside their typical haunts. Very well-spoken, too.”

“Neat. I hope Loth is still in town. I want him in my party.”

Will began tottering towards the door.

“Now where are you going?” Gertrude demanded, arms crossed.

“To the Exchange Hall.” Will said. “Gotta get that Quest Money.” Will pantomimed rubbing together two gold coins. Not that he’d ever done that before in his life. Hopefully after this.

Gertrude sighed. “Just…don’t spend it all on booze and women, alright?”

“Alcohol is gross, and girls don’t like me.” Will said, aiming for the doorway.

Gertrude put a hand in front of him. “I’m not talking about girls. I’m talking about women, the kind who prey on naïve young men exiting the Exchange Hall with large sacks of gold. Understood?”

Will blinked twice, then nodded.

“Understood.”

“Good. Enjoy your first quest reward.” She said, pulling the arm out of the way.

“Oh, I will,” Will said with a barely suppressed chuckle. He was gonna buy all the gear. Maybe get fitted for a prosthetic that could help with climbing or holding more than one thing at a time.

Will tottered out of the orphanage, cutting through the sea of grabby-fingered children like the prow of a ship.

With great effort, he managed to mantle down the two steps leading to the orphanage’s door, leaving him staring down the long and winding dirt path to the road itself.

After the path, I have to hobble all the way to the other side of the village to the Exchange Hall, then the bazaar, and then back? Will was already having second thoughts.

“If you’re not up for it, you can always rest another day,” Gertrude said from the doorway.

She has to know that’s going to make me keep going, Will thought.

“No, I can manage!” Will protested, beginning his long, painful hobble down the dirt path.

An excruciating experience later, Will arrived at the bottom of the hill, the village road revealing itself as he turned a corner.

Not only that…

“What are you doing here?” Will asked Loth, who was standing beside a wheelchair facing the path.

“I surmised you would have trouble walking all the way to the Exchange Hall. They have lots of wheelchairs to borrow. As it turns out, you’re not the first Climber to come back wounded.”

“Yeah, but…how did you know I’d be here, now?” Will asked.

“I trapped your bed with a pressure-release trigger.” Loth said, pointing up the hill.

From their vantage point they could see the very roof of the orphanage, upon which a shiny piece of metal spun in place, creating a blinking flash of reflected light.

“Huh. And Gertrude didn’t notice you trapping my bed?”

“Not to my knowledge. We were talking about what you were like as a baby while my insects set the trap.”

To Will’s knowledge, Gertrude was at least level 40, which meant she should’ve noticed.

“Smooth. You are the best Saboteur I know.” Loth could’ve 100% assassinated him under the watch of a level 40 if the kobold had the desire. That was a skill Will wanted.

“I am likely the only Saboteur you know.” Loth said, motioning toward the chair. “It’s a rare archetype among humans.”

With a tremendous cry of pain, Will turned around and lowered himself into the wheelchair.

“I’ve been in the market for a human lackey to both lubricate social interactions with other humans, and serve as a reliable scout. I’m wondering if you’d be interested in joining my Party.” Loth said as Will settled himself and put the crutch away.

“Nah man, you should join my Party.” Will responded, trying to steer the wheelchair before realizing he only had one hand, and resigning himself to being pushed.

“Mine’s better, as it is run by a kobold.” Loth replied, reaching up to take the handles and turning him around.

“Your Party is inferior simply because it is not ‘Willliam Oh’s Party’.”

“…You make a strong argument. Say I join your party, would I get the role of party leader?” Loth asked.

“I would take on that burden.” Will said with faux arrogance.

“Would you? If taking me on created some messy trouble that you had to deal with, would you take on that burden?”

“I can’t blindly answer ‘yes’ to that. We don’t know each other that well…yet.” Will replied.

Loth went silent for a moment.

“What if we did know each other that well?”

“Then yes. If we knew each other well enough, I would eliminate who or whatever was causing you...” Will went silent as he thought of the adventuring party who had killed Ben, who had become Messy Trouble himself.

They cruised down the packed-earth street in silence.

Loth quietly pushed him down the road, peering out from behind, as his height did not allow him to look over Will, even with the latter sitting down.

“That’s gotta be awkward,” Will said, changing the subject.

“I’ll manage. Unless you would prefer me to steer from your lap?”

Will briefly considered.

“Hop on,” Will said, scooting over. The wheelchair was made to accommodate even the bulkiest wounded adventurers, and Will was fairly thin, so there was no issue with space.

Loth hopped up in the space next to him and put his taloned hands on the left wheel, while Will gripped the right-hand side.

“Ready?” He asked.

Loth thought for a moment, then seemed to come to a firm decision as he nodded.

You have Formed a Party!

Loth The Luminary has joined the Party!

Loth The Luminary

Hive-wielding Saboteur Level 5

10 Strength

10 Kinesthetics

8 Resistance

17 Focus

10 Acuity

Charges: 9/17

Free Points: 0

Primary Abilities: Master of the Vivarium*, Trap Savant

Minutes later, they were hurtling down the hardpacked roads, navigating the throngs of passerby at speeds that could only be described as ‘unsafe’.

“WHOOO!” They whooped as Will hit the handbrake, skidding to a drifting halt outside the Exchange Hall.

“Is that him?” Somebody whispered.

“No way, too short.”

“Does have one hand, though.”

Will ignored the people milling around the entrance and pulled the crutch out of the wheelchair’s holster to tackle the stairs while Loth lifted the wheelchair itself up the staircase.

The Exchange Hall was the biggest building in the Podunk town of Ashwood, regulation-size in an undersized mudhole, with regulation-sized marble pillars that could crush the nearby inn.

They saw a kiosk with a blackboard above, reading: Establishing Quest:  Break the supply lines!

In the line were dozens of people Will recognized, signalling that he was truly in the right place.

“An excellent showing for Mason Lanover,” The receptionist said, opening up a box and handing over a sack of – presumably – gold.

Will’s mouth was watering already.

“William!” Mason said as he turned around and spotted the two of them wheeling into the line to receive quest rewards.

“Mason, how’s it going?” Will shook the noble’s hand as he approached.

“I’m well. This is an excellent start to my career, and even still, I think your contribution may eclipse my own,” Mason said before shaking Loth’s. “I would offer to hire you as a Scout, but June-“

“HEY!” June said from where she waited near the front of the line, casting a dirty look at the mention of ‘hiring a scout’.

“Could definitely use a saboteur on my team, though.” Mason continued, unbothered. “I never really thought about how advantageous it could be to have someone who can give their Party the home-field…advantage.”

“How much are you paying?” Loth asked, perking up.

“Hey!” Will said.

“One Hundred gold a Quest, fifty gold per floor advancement. Special missions are negotiable. Pay increases on higher floors.”

Loth the Luminary has left the Party.

Will’s jaw dropped.

“Bu-but, we…but…”

Loth the luminary has Joined the Party

“I couldn’t resist. Loth said with an apologetic smile before turning back to Mason. “I’m sorry, Mister Lanover, but I’ve decided to Join William Oh’s Party.”

“May I ask why?”

“He ate the grub. You did not.”

Mason’s face paled for a moment. “Yes, I…suppose that’s true. Well, the offer remains open.”

“That’ll teach him he should eat strange food from strange people.” Will said as Mason disappeared into the distance, seemingly shellshocked.

“I can only imagine what he’ll be convinced to eat in the name of diplomacy in the future.” Loth said, following Mason with his gaze.

Once the noble was out of eyeshot, they turned their attention back to the line, slowly inching forward.

As they made their way to the front, the density of Climbers seemed to subtly increase as those who got their reward hung around.

“What are they waiting for?” Will asked the clerk as they arrived at the front.

“They’re waiting to see who the MVP is.” The clerk said. “Names?”

“William Oh.”

“Really?” She asked with a cocked brow, glancing up at him. “You’re the Sixth William Oh to show up, but you…” She flipped up a sheet on her clipboard and compared him to it, her eyes glowing faintly. “Seem to be the right one. Let’s get you your quest reward.”

“Five people tried to steal my quest reward!?” Will asked, but the clerk continued on as if he hadn’t said anything.

“The system has rated your performance as ‘exceptional’. Well done. Here’s your reward.” She pulled out a bag of gold, roughly equivalent to Mason’s.

“What about me?” Loth asked.

“Oh, you speak?” the clerk asked, a bit taken aback. “I thought you were a Tamer or something…” She murmured.

“Loth, if you please, miss.” Loth said, tapping the roster with a single black talon.

“I see. Loth. The System has rated your performance as ‘Critical to Quest Success.’” She consulted the paper, flipped it up, glanced at Loth, frowned and did it all again. “…You were the MVP,” she said. “here’s…ummm…Your reward. You may wish to visit a money changer.”

The clerk pulled out a much smaller bag and gave it to Loth, who accepted it graciously.

“You have my gratitude, miss.” Loth said with a deep nod, still shorter than her despite standing on the seat of the wheelchair.

“Score!” Will said, clinking his bag of coin against Loth’s as they headed for the exit.

this is more money than I’ve seen in my life…and I’m about to spend all of it at Leon’s! I can’t wait to see what he’s got in store for me…

Then Will saw the hungry eyes following them towards the exit, and thought about the first major lesson he’d learned: Never be an easy meal.

Before he could stew on the thoughts any further, a massive hand clapped down over his shoulder.

“Hey dude,” Reggie said. “How’d you do?”

“Hey, Reggie, how’s it going?” Will said, glancing up at Reggie. “I got ‘exceptional’ and Loth won the MVP.”

“Yeah, he pretty much singlehandedly defended the camp from a kaith raid while you were passed out. By the time we got to any of them they were already messed up by his traps. We just mopped up.”

“Where you guys heading after this?” Reggie asked.

“I’m gonna blow a bunch of my cash at Leon’s.” Will said. “Then hit the Bazaar. See what kind of Sacrifices they have.”

He had a Primary Ability upgrade available, and now was the time to shop around for the Sacrifice for it.

“I need to replace many of my lost triggers and blades. I’ll be visiting a smith. Then the Bazaar.”

“A smith, then Leon’s, then the bazaar.” Will summarized. He considered a moment. “Would you be willing to hang around us and look menacing until we’ve spent enough of our cash that we no longer look like an easy meal?”

Reggie gave a belly laugh. “Sure, man. You saved my life, and my game plan doesn’t look too much different for the rest of the night.”

“Guys shopping trip!” Will said, fist-bumping Reggie. Everyone knew how much guys liked shopping…for sharp pointy things.

They waited for Reggie to pick up his cash and the three of them started their tour of the tiny town. Greg, the local blacksmith, didn’t seem to have any issue when Loth slapped a single Ivory coin on the table and requesting a frankly ridiculous number of copies of a handful of simple trigger mechanisms and blades.

“Would you rather have change or have me apply my Abilities to these?” Greg asked, inspecting the pale, opalescent coin before glancing up at Will.

“The latter, of course.” Loth said.

Greg kept looking at Will.

“The latter, of course.”

“Right, then,” Greg said, turning to get to work. The three of them glanced at each other before leaving.

“What just happened?” Will asked as they stepped back out into the open.

“You begin to see why I need a human lackey?” Loth asked.

“Yeah…that was weird.” Reggie said.

“There’s no shortage of humans who know someone who’s been killed by a kobold trap,” Loth said with a shrug as they headed to their next location. “Especially older humans. Many don’t think of Kobolds as anything but monsters who can talk.”

“Is that what you were warning me about?” Will asked. “That you’re more trouble than you’re worth?”

“I’m worth…a lot of trouble.” Loth preened.

“That’s right, you’re the MVP,” Reggie said, reaching down to give Loth a noogie, which the kobold deftly avoided.

“Next stop, Leon’s!” Will said, pointing.

Reggie grabbed the handles and began pushing them at maximum speed.

When they arrived, Reggie seemed fine.

“Why aren’t you out of breath?” Will asked.

“Two levels higher and not wearing a hundred pounds of steel.” Reggie explained. “I’m not actually in bad shape, no matter what you saw on during the last quest.”

“Did you want to join my party?” Will asked as they entered.

“Sorry, can’t. I’m under contract to bodyguard Mason until he hits level 30, or work for his father ten years after he dies.”

“You’re one the hook even if he dies?”

“Yeah. Makes it so I don’t have any incentive to let him die on a climb.”

“Oh. Yeah, I suppose that tracks.”

“Ask me again if you’re still alive after Mason is level thirty,” Reggie said, slapping Will on the shoulder and nearly bowling him over. “Or better yet, if by some miracle you can get Mason to join your Party, I’m contractually obligated to come along. But he wouldn’t do that, because it would make Mr. Lanover furious for his son to be in someone else’s Party.”

“But…Mason isn’t the leader of your Party, is he?” It seemed to Will like it’d been June making most of the decisions in the heat of the moment.

“On paper, he is. Which is all his dad cares about.” Reggie said with a shrug.

“William Oh!” Leon exclaimed as he noticed Will hobbling out from behind Reggie’s bulk.

“Why my full name?” Will asked, frowning.

“Because you’re getting famous! You’ve already had three impersonators trying to get credit in my shop.”

“Seriously?” Will asked.

“Seems like you’ve got your own share of messy trouble.” Loth opined.

“Indeed…I’m going to need to see your I.D., young man.” Leon said with an ominous frown.

“You know damn well I don’t have an I.D., Leon. But I could inform your wife about your dissatisfaction with how your life turned out.” Will said.

“Good enough,” Leon said, clapping his hands together before heading into the back and wheeling out a hand-kart filled with gear.

“I have here, a curated selection of Relics from the Bazaar that may help with your build, purchased at ‘Leaving-town’ clearance prices.”

Leon began unloading one Relic after another onto the countertop while Will felt his eyes pop out of his head.