Chapter 1: He who has no Class (Patreon)

“Slow down, you’re going to give yourself a stomach ache,” Gertrude admonished as Will devoured another entire loaf of bread. “You’ll throw up the moment you have to run.”

“Untrue,” Will mouthed past the wad of stew-soaked bread in his mouth, causing the old woman to wince and avert her eyes. “The walk to the hunting grounds is over an hour, so I’ll be fine by the time I get there.”

“If you can afford to walk slow, then you can eat slow.” Gertrude said, pulling the next loaf of bread away from his reaching hand.

“Awww...”

“You’ll thank me when you’re not reeling in pain from a busted stomach.” Gertrude said, nose raised.

“I am…constantly not reeling in pain,” Will sassed.

Gertrude smacked him over the head with the loaf, the black bread’s hard crust making a dull ‘conk’ as it delivered its force into his cranium.

“How ‘bout now?” the ancient priestess asked.

“Ow. I think there was a rock in there.” Will said, holding his scalp and checking for bleeding.

“Nonsense,” Gertrude said, prying open the rough-milled bread over her wooden plate.

Clunk!

A fingernail-sized pebble dropped out of the bread and onto her plate, causing her weathered face to freeze in surprise.

“Just…eat slow, alright?”

“mm,” Will grunted, nodding as he began to masticate much slower.

It seemed the miller’s new apprentice needed a bit more practice. Or perhaps a good caning.

“Seems like there might be a job opening at the mill.” Gertrude mused as Dana took the pebble and stared at it with wide eyes. The little girl looked like she was going to put the pebble in her mouth before Gertrude snatched it out of her hand.

“I am not going to hunt a Wheat gremlin.” Will said. “How would that even combine with an –“ Will lowered his voice to a conspiratorial whisper “Uru Drake?”

“I’m sure I don’t know. Make twice the flour from half the grain, perhaps? Don’t act as though milling grain is beneath you. It’s a lifetime of good, honest work.”

“Drudgery.” Will countered.

“Drudgery you can support a family with. Your parents-“

“Are awesome.” Will interrupted.

Perhaps reading Will’s mood, Gertrude changed tactics.

“I’m just saying it would be good for you to have a grounded life, raise children. Be happy. Many climbers are not happy. I know. Perhaps you could even take Marissa as your bride? It’d be one less mouth to feed here.”

Will glanced over at where Marissa was picking her nose. The little girl glanced back at the mention of her name, nostril distended with her index finger.

“I’m not sure we’re a good fit.” Will said.

“Go to hell.” Marissa said, flicking a booger at him.

“Already there, hellspawn.” Will said, flicking the booger off. Marissa turned red, climbed over the table and leaped on him, sending the two of them tumbling to the ground in a tangle of limbs.

“Children!” Gertrude hollered over the two of them before Will could get Marissa in a headlock. “Sit. Down.”

The promise of violence in the old nun’s voice sent them scrambling back to their seats.

“I’ve got one piece of advice for you, William, Something the Gods know I’ve tried to teach you.” Gertrude said, pointing an old wooden spoon at him. “Take your time. Don’t leap into The Class Trial with the first three Sacrifices you can get your hands on. You’ve got all summer to hunt. Shop around. Sell some of the Sacrifices you hunt, buy some gear. Check the market, other Aspirants might pass on something perfect for you. You don’t even have to take your class this year. There’s no time limit.”

“Don’t start The Trial until you’re sure you have what you need.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Will muttered, ducking his head at Gertrude’s intensity.

“Good.”

“Sooo…” Will glanced around the breakfast table at the other children, who watched him curiously.

“Yes, you can go join The Hunt,”

 Will shot to his feet and marched towards the door. Towards his Class, and by extension, his family.

The door slammed before he got halfway across the room.

“After you clean your mess,” Gertrude said, her Relic of The Host glowing faintly as she pointed to his bowl and crumb-covered plate.

Will took a deep breath and grabbed the dishes, walking over to the sink, where he used the morning water to clean off the plate before setting it back in its proper place.

In a matter of seconds, Will was standing back in front of the door, practically vibrating with eagerness.

Gertrude looked like she wanted to say something else, but simply sighed and motioned to the door, her Relic faintly glowing again.

The door unlocked and swung open.

One small step for Will, one giant leap for Saint Gertrude’s Orphanage.

Will could see it already: With the myriad potent Abilities granted by the Uru Drake Sacrifice, he would be able to acquire Relics and become a Climber, carving out a massive range on one of the upper floors, making him a Lord.

In his benevolence, Lord William would deign to send supplies and money to the poor unfortunates forced to suffer through the old woman’s sermons.

Will burst into the early morning light, his calloused feet trotting down the compacted earth trail that led from the orphanage to the town proper.

The sun itself was a bit weak this morning, barely radiating heat as the glow bloomed from the top of The Tower, illuminating the land.

Still, the heat was fairly substantial since the orphanage was parked in the undesireable arid land baked by proximity to The Tower, and by extension, the heat of the sun.

Some people took days, or even weeks to travel from the outskirts to earn their Classes. Even months for the maniacs who lived in the frigid wastes at the very edges of civilization…if you could call living in ice-houses and eating raw gonku meat ‘civilization’

Will only had to walk an hour, but he had to get some supplies first.

“One sling, two dozen bullets, two pounds of pemmican and a waterskin!” Will called as he strode through the door to the general store.

His plan to triumphantly slap the copper coins he’d been saving up on Leon’s countertop was somewhat muddled as he realized the way was blocked: The shop was packed wall-to-wall with others, ranging from aspirants his age getting hunting weapons to full-blooded adventurers grabbing last-minute toiletries or food.

A group of adventurers currently crowding the countertop glanced over at him. Two women and three men, their Relics hinting at their roles in the party.

One of the men sported a smooth wooden bow that practically hummed with power and a simple cuirass, while one of the women bore a wand that crackled faintly with energy. She wore a ring that exuded ominous energy, while the other woman had a wooden symbol of Grevash in her belt that radiated an aura of calm, not unlike Gertrude.

Another man wore a ring on either hand, a helmet, and a waterproof smock.

The leader, a man wearing heavy armor, with a close-shaved head and scars near his eyes, glanced over at Will, his gaze skimming over him in an instant before he dismissed him entirely, turning back to Leon.

“Hey Will,” Leon said, peering over his clients to catch sight of him. “Catch!”

Leon reached under the countertop, then threw a leather bundle over the heads of the store’s many patrons, landing it in Wiliam’s hands.

“Thanks!” Will said, tossing his handful of coins across the room at Leon.

“ACK!” The black-haired merchant ducked the flying metal, which clattered off the display pieces behind him, much to the amusement of his customers. “Gertrude already paid, brat!”

“Oh. Then can I get my coins back?” Will asked, holding out his hand.

Leon gave him a blistering stare.

“You know what? I’ll check back later. Start a tab!”

Leon gave him a good-natured rude gesture as Will waved his way back out of the store.

He stopped in the shade of the store as the heat from The Tower began to build, opening up the satchel and peering inside.

Not only was there everything he asked for, there was also bandages and a tiny dagger more at home cutting cheese than braving the wilds inside The Tower.

But…orphans can’t be choosers, and it was far better than nothing.

“’sup Will?” A familiar voice dragged him out of his musing.

Will peered up at Ben, his partner for today’s outing. One of the local boys who could keep up with Will. If Ben would tell it, it would be Will keeping up with him, but they both knew who was in charge.

“I got my stuff,” Will said, hoisting his leather sack of supplies. “You got yours?”

Ben raised a brow and wordlessly thumbed over his shoulder, where a fine wooden bow was slung. On his thigh was a machete for both setting up camp and defending himself if some of the monsters got a bit too friendly.

He was wearing a leather cuirass and what looked like pants treated with Gollak glue, making them extra durable while maintaining flexibility.

Will’s gaze drifted further down to the expensive shoes the boy was wearing that looked supremely comfortable. Will wiggled his bare toes.

“Try hard.”

“Don’t hate the hunter, hate The Hunt,”  Ben said with a shrug. “So my dad said we should pick off some of the easier prey and cash them in at the bazaar, shop around while we give some of the more experienced hunters time to soften up the more dangerous locations before we go in, maybe after a week or so.”

“Do you do everything your dad tells you to?” Will said mockingly.

“Hmm, let me think about that.” Ben said, glancing off to the side before returning his gaze to Will. “Yes. Yes I do. Because my dad is a smart man with my best interests in mind. What did Gertrude tell you to do?”

Will heaved a sigh.

“Basically the exact same thing. Fine. Let’s do things the ‘smart way’” Will said, making air quotes.

Together, the two of them followed the path to The Tower, joining a steady stream of men and women marching along underneath the sweltering heat of The Tower.

Only the top third or so glowed white-hot, where it connected to the sky above, a mile or so above them.

The massive, arching entrance in the base that opened during the summer was only slightly warm to the touch.

Or so Will had heard.

“C’mon,” Will said, nudging Ben to the side. “Let’s enter on the edge. I wanna touch the entrance.

Ben sighed, but didn’t protest, and the two of them dragged their fingers along the skin-warm stone as the gargantuan archway swallowed them whole.

The two of them broke off from the stream of adventurers and Aspirants as they passed the threshold, gawking up at the sky.

“What’s wrong with the sky?” Will asked, staring up at the strange monochrome blue façade, with wisps of blue travelling across it.

“I’unno.”

“What are those white things?” Will asked.

“I’unno.” Ben grunted again.

“Why is the sun- OW!” Will blinked tears out of his eyes as he shielded his eyes. “Why is the sun so bright?”

“How many times I gotta tell you?” Ben asked, glancing down at him.

“Newbies, huh?” A voice drew their attention away from the sky.

Will glanced down and spotted the group that’d been in the general store with Leon earlier that day.

“How can you tell?” Will asked defensively. If he was wearing a sign around his neck that read ‘newbie’ he wanted to get rid of it as soon as possible.

Wordlessly the adventurer gestured around the entry field, pointing out several groups of young Aspirants shielding their eyes as they stared at the sky in amazement.

“…Fair.” Will admitted, resolving not to gawk.

“Also…You’re children.” He said.

“…Also fair.” Will admitted, resolving to grow a foot taller and pack on forty pounds of muscle overnight.

“There’s a good hunting ground that way, I used it when I was getting started out,” The scarred man said, pointing off to the right of the entrance. “About three miles that way. There’s a large boulder at the edge of a meadow with lots of wheat gremlins. Use the boulder and the entrance as your landmarks. Don’t navigate with the sun, it moves.”

“The sun moves!?” Will demanded, glancing up at the sun and burning his eyes again. “Ow, crap.”

“Don’t mind him, he has no Class,” Ben said, offering his hand. “I’m Ben, he’s Will. Thanks for the advice.”

“You can call me Mr. Fontaine,” the leader said, before turning and motioning to the rest of his group. “That’s Bess, Amy, Mark, and Rodger.”

“And he’s Kyle.” Amy said pointing at ‘Mr. Fontaine’

“Listen, we’ve gotta be off, but if we meet up again, tell us how you did and we’ll give you some pointers. It’s always valuable to know if a hunting spot is still good or not from year to year.”

“Will do!” Ben said, waving them off. “They seem nice.”

Will wasn’t so sure. Kindness from strangers usually was accompanied by a catch of some kind, or an offer that was far too good to be true.

But...they hadn’t offered the duo much of anything aside from a location that didn’t hold any value to the experienced adventurers.

Unless…we provide the value? Will thought for a moment, before he spotted Heath, a rather infamous bully about town.

“Heath, Heath!” Will shouted, flagging him down out of the flow of Aspirants

The young man with the extra foot of height Will so desperately wanted, and the squinty, confused expression that he so loathed, turned at the sound of his name, locking in on the two of them.

“What are you doing!?” Ben hissed.

“There’s a good hunting spot for wheat gremlins about three miles that way. A meadow with a boulder on the edge of it. Can’t miss it.”

Ben pinched him, but Will ignored it.

Heath squinted harder, confusion plain across his face.

“What’s the catch? He finally asked.

“There’s a teeny chance you might get kidnapped and sold into slavery.” Will admitted.

“That’s what this is about?” Ben asked rolling his eyes. “Not everyone is out to get you, Will.”

“It sounds to me like you’re too much of a pussy to handle it on your own.” Heath said.

“Sure,” Will shrugged. “Whatever.”

“Thanks for the heads-up, pussy.” With a malicious chuckle, Heath lumbered off in the direction they’d pointed out.

“I admire his confidence.” Will mused as the overgrown slab walked away, long sword over his shoulder. Even if Heath were smart enough to suspect they might try to ambush him, he would never in a million years believe they could get the better of him.

“You just gave up a good hunting spot on a whim.”

“A prime hunting spot out in the middle of nowhere, where only we and they know where we went?” Will asked.

Ben opened his mouth and considered it for a moment before shrugging. “Yeah, okay.”

“Let’s go somewhere else, and check up on Heath in a few hours.” Will said, motioning out into the wilderness.

“A’ight.”

They followed the stream of Aspirants for a while until the stream thinned to nearly nothing before finally breaking off the path to delve into the forest.

They ran into other Aspirants every now and then as they stalked through the forest, heading their separate ways. Thankfully nobody got shot.

About half an hour into the hunt, Ben tugged on his shirt, catching Will’s attention.

“Jumper.” He whispered, pointing. The creature had short, tawny fur, scaly feet with strong grippers, sharp forelimbs and absolutely MASSIVE thighs.

Will recalled the information he’d researched about using the Jumper as a sacrifice.

Jumper: Adds Leg-based abilities to the Aspirant’s class choices, mostly kicks and jumps. Provides 2 Str and 1 Kin/level. Suitable for unarmed fighters and scouts.  12 copper/leg

The monster was seemingly unaware of them, its attention directed off into the distance, it’s view obscured by the foliage.

It was a long shot for a sling, but for a bow…

“You first,” Will whispered, plucking a bullet from his pouch and dropping it in the sling before pulling out his tiny dagger in the off-hand.

Ben nodded, and quietly nocked an arrow, drawing it back while crouched in a hunter’s stance.

He loosed.

The arrow hit some of the foliage between them and made copious amounts of noise as it dropped about two feet below the intended target. They both winced.

The Jumper flinched, glancing over at them before it hissed, and in the manner of all monsters, charged them with reckless fury.

“Oh crap, it’s fast!” Ben started as the Jumper began leaping from branch to branch, a blur of tawny fur and glittering claws.

Will whipped the sling forward and the bullet hissed out, bouncing off the monster’s hip as it shot through the air towards them. It let out a strangled cry of pain, but it was already-

“Fu-“ Will stumbled backwards as it slammed into his chest, impaling itself on Will’s tiny dagger. That held it at an awkward angle, so it wasn’t able to bring it’s claws fully to bear, but it didn’t take the fight out of it completely, scratching and snarling ferociously.

Time seemed to slow as Ben dropped the bow and hefted the machete, eyeballing the mad creature scrambling to find purchase on Will’s chest.

There was no way Ben wouldn’t catch him with the machete, and Will didn’t think he was in a state to listen calmly. The boy’s eyes were white all the way around.

“Gah!” Will shoved the Jumper aside and rolled out of the way as the machete came down.

Crunch!

Will got to his feet and glanced down at the beheaded jumper, then Ben, and then remembered that some monsters come in packs, turning his attention back to the forest and their situation.

“That…was…it?” Ben panted.

“That was it, I guess,” Will said, looking down at his scratched-up chest. The pain that had been shoved aside in the moment was starting to soak back into his perception.

“Ow.”

They took a break, eating pemmican and drinking water after cleaning and bandaging Will’s wounds.

Even low-level monsters were dangerous without Resistance.

“Let’s go find that arrow.” Ben said once they’d caught their breath.

“Why don’t you stand in front of the monster next time?” Will whispered later as they crept through the forest. “You’ve got armor. Better yet, don’t miss the first shot.”

“How ‘bout you don’t stand there like an idiot while it charges?” Ben whispered back.

“I could say the same about-“ Will stopped and tapped Ben’s shoulder.

Will heard the faint trickle of water. After a moment of quiet listening, Ben nodded, indicating he could hear it too.

Together the two of them crept toward the sound of running water, discovering a tiny creek that fed into a pond that either of them could probably jump across. There was even a part in the center where the land rose up in the center of the pond, sporting a bit of water-grass.

Will scanned the edge of the pond, but didn’t see any prey out.

“Wait,” Ben whispered, grabbing Will’s shoulder and pointing.

“What?”

“There. A foot.”

Not willing to make any more sound, Will tried locating this ‘foot’ Ben had mentioned, without much success. Ben must’ve seen the confusion on his face, because he clarified.

“Under the water.” Ben said, holding his hands apart to indicate its size.

Will’s eyes widened at that indication of size, reorienting his expectations.

There it was.

A frog-foot about a foot across. Will traced the orientation of the foot…back to the lump of land in the center of the pond.

He realized what they were dealing with.

Wetlands Gulper: Adds Earth, Water, Slime and Tongue-based abilities to the aspirant’s class choices. Provides 1 Res, 1Str, 1 Acq/level. Highly Sought after by Aspirant potters, farmers, and rich Lotharios.

5 silver per foot of tongue.

Judging by it’s size…

“That’s a wetlands gulper, and it’s huge.”

Ben’s eyes widened. “We could trade that for a good Sacrifice, easy. Or maybe a Relic.”

“A cheap one, maybe.” Will mused, but the obvious question was: how would they kill it without getting dragged into a watery grave and eaten?

5 minutes later.

“Keep shooting, keep shooting!” Will urged Ben, his voice more shrill than he planned.

The wetlands gulper didn’t have much in the way of sharp claws or teeth, and instead preferred to drag its prey underwater with it’s powerful, sticky tongue and drown it.

So naturally, Will lashed himself to the top of a tree with his sling and began thrashing to get its attention.

The stupid monster burst out of the water and shot it’s 20ft long tongue out, instantly ensnaring Will and dragging him down to the water…until the tree bent back and began dangling the confused monster above the water’s edge by its own tongue, whereupon Ben began using it for some much-needed target practice.

The only thing Will failed to account for in his master plan: five hundred pounds of pressure on the sling rope looped around his waist, crushing his guts and threatening to tear him in half.

It was an agonizing three minutes before the enormous toad stopped twitching and Ben deemed it safe enough to run up and slash the tongue with his machete.

“And that’s how you make a good eighty silver,” Ben said, admiring the trophy as Will climbed down. “You could buy half a dozen sacrifices from this one tongue, easily.”

“I think I’m gonna throw up,” Will muttered, holding his bruised waist.

“Yeah…” Ben gave him a side-glance. “You seem like you’re done for the day.”

Will was about to respond when a flicker of light caught their attention. A pale yellow sliver of light opened out of thin air and formed a glowing archway.

It was like nothing either of them had ever seen, but they’d heard of it.

The Trial presented itself to those who had acquired all the sacrifices they needed.

Ben’s gaze flickered down to the satchel that housed Will’s dried Uru Drake. The third piece that had summoned The Trial.

“Did you want a jump-y…tongue-y, frog-y Class?” he asked.

“Obviously not,” Will said, straightening.

“Then why bring the Uru Drake with you?”

“Well, I didn’t know what we were gonna find,” Will said. ‘It could’a been something cool.”

“It was something cool.” Ben said, lifting the tongue. “Let’s go check the bazaar. With the amount this sells for, we might be able to buy something a bit more…exotic for our classes.”