"They're making me feel crazy..." (Patreon)

Let's talk gaslighting, and how to navigate it. Below are 10 recent examples of gaslighting in my own life, and how I responded. Hopefully it can be of service to you!

NOTE : Their comments are in bold, my answers are in italics.

1. "We didn't even really cross a line, it wasn't that big a deal."
"Maybe we understood the gravity of the boundary differently. But when it happened, it made me feel anxious and unsafe. It's important that gets taken seriously. Are you willing to talk about how this can be avoided in the future?"

2. "This is just your mental illness talking."
"If I wasn't taking my meds, I might consider that possibility. But the reality is, I'm currently balanced and I know my experience. I won't have my illness weaponized against me just so you can get off the hook."

3. "Can't you just move on?"
"Broken trust requires a pattern of changed behavior. I'm eager to trust you again, but we're not there yet. It takes time."

4. "I never said that." (Even when there's proof via text.)
"I invite you to scroll up and re-read your texts. I'm walking away now."

5. "You asking our partner to check in during my date is so self-centered."
"Check ins are reasonable and don't need to threaten your connection or your intimacy with our shared partner. If you're unhappy with how our partner is checking in, or how they're treating you when they text me, please talk to them about it."

6. "You're really great and usually make a lot of sense, but seriously stop overreacting."
"While I appreciate the initial compliments, my experience still isn't up for debate."

7. "I was just joking! Lighten up!"
"Smiling while you belittle me doesn't make it a joke. If you have something to say, you can say it directly."

8. "Your partner is making you act this way. They're really toxic, they're changing you."
"That rings really false. I stand by my experience. This fight is between you and me, so let's leave people out of it who aren't here to defend themselves."

9. "Me ignoring my phone was just self care. Do you not want me to practice self care?"
"You agreed to be available via text, so I got anxious when you went MIA. If you need a break from screens, just tell me up front. You can practice self care and still manage my expectations."

10. "Fine, 'I'm sorry.' There. Better?"
"It'll be better after a pattern of changed behavior."

Gaslighting can look a million ways, but hopefully these examples can help if you're dealing with someone who makes you feel foggy, confused, or questioning yourself. Ain't nobody got time for that!

Hugs and happy Sunday, cutie.
Xx
Morgan