Review: Sense8, Season 1 (Netflix) (Patreon)

The following contains spoilers for Season 1 of Netflix's Sense8.

If you're not familiar with Sense8, it's a series by the Wachowski sisters.

This non-linear story follows 8 strangers who are psychically connected. They can jump into each other's bodies, and hear/see/taste/smell/feel what the others do, in real time. It's a superhero story where their powers are empathy and community support. It's wild and compelling.

This review is not about that. Today I'll cover a consensual triad featured in Season one.

Two gay male characters enter a triad with a straight woman. Lito (right) is a closeted actor. His boyfriend Hernando (center) must stay hidden from the world, and Daniela (left) is his beard. 

So, how did this turn into a throuple?

1. Closeted queerness in Hollywood is still a thing, especially for gay men who get hyper-masculine roles for straight male audiences. Coming out can be a career-killer.

So he gets a "girlfriend" for the red carpet. Except, Daniela doesn't know she's his beard at first. I get that he's scared to come out to her, but that lie removes her agency to consent to this dynamic. She understandably gets frustrated and confused when he rejects her advances.

2. Daniela doesn't hear the word "no." It can be pretty rough. 

I mean, he says "no" every time, and she keeps pushing. She follows him home, rings his doorbell, and barges in. She takes off her clothes and forces herself on him. 

But this isn't portrayed as harassment or assault! It's treated more like an awkward annoyance. Can you imagine if the roles were reversed? This gender-based double standard really troubles me every time I see it on screen.

3. "The problem is, honey, that you don't have a cock." Daniela finds Hernando, who is happy to explain why she's not getting laid. Very, very luckily, she's amused by this.

4. "This will be the best role of my life!" Turns out she loves the idea of playing his beard. But she again forces herself in where she wasn't invited. Declaring they're a throuple now, she wedges herself between them in bed.

5. Their sex actually works. While the men still don't want sex with her directly, she enjoys masturbating while watching them. It's a lovely way to show how self pleasure doesn't have to be solitary. It can be, and often is, a great way for partners to maintain intimacy when there are sexual incompatibilities or mis-matches of desire.

6. The V becomes a true Triad. Daniela forms her own relationship with Hernando. When Lito doesn't support him, she fills that role. And when she gets hurt, Hernando sticks up for her.

I love it. What a fantastic way to depict non-sexual partnerships, AND the growth that can come when two partners push you to become a better person. 

Plenty of polycules have non-sexual dynamics within them. Sometimes we get caught up in the idea that all relationships "should" include sex. But love comes in many forms, and it really warms my heart to see this level of nuance.

So, is this sustainable? Well, like every relationship, it depends. Will Daniela learn proper boundaries? Does the throuple still work after Lito comes out? Or, can they continue to grow and evolve together? I'll have to keep watching...

___

TLDR: I give this throuple a B- for ethical non-monogamy in season one. Lito needs to speak more, and Daniela needs to hear more, but they do eventually get there. By the time the dust settles, this triad does seem to balance emotional and sexual needs in a compelling way that I've never seen depicted on screen before. I love love love that Sense8 took this risk!