The Night After Christmas (Patreon)

'Twas the eve after Christmas

Folks were in for a fright

When all food disappeared

In one single night.

The fridges were emptied,

The cupboards were bare

And who was to blame?

Why, the fox that was there!

He'd eaten and nibbled and swallowed and crunched

And licked up the crumbs of each morsel he'd munched.

Yet bigger and bigger the greedy fox grew,

His gut wanted more; he knew what to do.

Gone turkey, gone pork and stuffing and such

He swallowed the brioche and croissants from brunch

And when the last snack disappeared down his throat

A voice called from the kitchen, with the words I now quote:

"WHERE THE FUCK IS ALL THE FOOD!?"

With those words he was shook from his gluttonous haze,

Yet his belly still gurgled like he'd not eaten in days.

His gut was enormous, and swollen, and round,

And so bloated and full it near touched the ground!

I'm still hungry, he pondered, and my greed they found out

From two problems to fix, one solution will sprout.

And so with his gut sagging down by his feet

His gaze turned to his buddies for something to eat.