TGIF: Banished Words (Patreon)

Hello and happy Friday, patrons! How is everyone doing today/this week? This morning I had to take Goose to the vet for another check up on her ears which now get gunked up every few months in her older age. Vet visit days usually go like this ... we have an extra early morning so I can give her some at home sedation which she fights against until we get to the vet and they give her slightly more sedation so they can poke and prod her. A couple hours later she's brought out of sedation and I pick her up and get to have a car ride home with a reeeeal loosey Goosey....

Look at that face. What an angel.

So, how has everyone's first week of 2023 gone so far? Mine has been pretty good. Today's the first day this week it hasn't been raining in LA ...which is nice and also feels like nature has attempted to cleanse the nasty sins of tinsel town. Cute! 

Have we all been sticking to our resolutions/goals so far? I feel like about a week after new years is the shadowy period where we start to realize that maybe our resolutions suck or are too hard or we quietly pretend we never actually made them and let them fade to our backlogged brain dumpster of hopeless hopes. If that's where you're at don't worry, just change things up and try again (I'm really trying to work on this whole try thing, y'all). In one of my mindless IG scrolling sessions I saw a self-helpy post about rectifying self sabotage by separating your day into quarters. If you have a bad morning, don't round it up to it being a completely bad day. Consider the first quarter of your day not ideal and see if you can have a better second, third, and fourth quarter. Before you know it 3/4 of your day has been great! I think that's how people do sports too? Either way, that gave me a nice new little framework to see my days. I have VERY much been a black and white thinking person. If I burned the toast cooking breakfast may as well burn the whole house down and hide in the rubble before moving to a new state to start over. Metaphorically speaking. But the idea that you can turn things around...that one hiccup doesn't mean you're now terminally ill with a rare and incurable hiccup disease which both amuses and frightens doctors and loved ones...is a nice little reminder for myself. 

Moving right along!

The Banished Words List is out. Have you seen it? Every year Lake Superior State University releases an annual list of words that they say deserve to be "banished". It's put together from submissions from around the world and highlights "phrases or words that its judges deem misused, overused -- or simply useless." From their website: "Stop resorting to imprecise, trite, and meaningless words and terms of seeming convenience! You’re taking the lazy way out and only confusing matters by over-relying on inexact, stale, and inane communication!" DAMN, LSSU, y u so mad? Here are the 10 banished words for this year...apparently in a particular order from needing the most banishing to very much in need of banishment (along with my thoughts).  

1. GOAT

-I can't say I've earnestly used this word colloquially, but I'd like to submit CAPYBARA as a helpful replacement...which obviously stands for Certainly Almost Perfect, Yes Bitch, A Rare Angel. See, it works seamlessly in place of the word GOAT.

2. Inflection point

This is a testament to how isolated I've become this year. I had no clue this was something people were saying. Do you say this? Do people say this? I kinda want to start saying this. LSSU says it's 2021's version of "pivot" which was banished the previous year. They think it's a pretentious way to say "turning point"...which is totally fair given that creating an annual list of words you're sick of hearing people say isn't pretentious or over the top at all.

3. Quiet quitting

Again, I just found out about this phrase and kinda liked it. But that's because I had the definition wrong. I thought it meant, like, quietly letting go of bad habits/addictions/hazardous belief systems, etc. Which I love the concept of. Privately and delicately laying your shit to rest. But no. Apparently it means doing the minimum requirements of one's job and putting in no more time, effort, or enthusiasm than absolutely necessary. Hmmm. I don't know how to feel about this one. I'm going to quiet quit my thoughts on quiet quitting. 

4. Gaslighting

Okay, I agree with them on this one. We all loooooove to spew this word. We spread it like melted butter on our mashed potato mouths. But once a word gets said immediately and repeatedly within the shrieking arguments on EVERY Real Housewives franchise I think it's time for that gassy light to be put to bed.

5. Moving forward

LSSU harps on this being misused and overused and I guess I have to agree. Again, if we're analyzing the linguistics of the Real Housewives than this phrase is wildly overused. Those women are on the gaslight, move forward, rinse, repeat cycles. Those women move forward so freaking much they've practically discovered time travel. Lol, dad joke. Anyway, moving forward...

6. Amazing

Oh, no, but what are sweeties supposed to do!? They DO amazing. They'll be so lost. 

7. Does that make sense?

Okay, as someone who enjoys marijuana and thinking about nonsensically important things you simply cannot banish this phrase from my dialogue. It's how I regulate myself. It's how I indicate to Elliott that I know what I just said does not, in fact, make any sense, but I need my in-home CAPYBARA to help me make it make sense.  

8. Irregardless

Apparently this is not a word. I always forget that. LSSU says "At most, it’s a nonstandard word, per some dictionaries. “Regardless” suffices." So it's banished because it's not a word, which is far. But I think it's more fun to say than regardless and the letters kinda look like a bunch of spaghetti thrown against a wall so I'll likely keep it in the rotation of my absolutely excellent speech patterns. 

9. Absolutely

Aw, see I love this word because it can be as sarcastic as it is sincere. You can dress it up, dress it down, you can say it whole-heartedly or you can say it like a whole asshole. According to LSSU "Frequently “said too loudly by annoying people who think they’re better than you,” bemoaned an aggrieved observer." Again, another absolutely fair assessment from people who support curating a list of words they deem not worthy of their amazing ears. Does that make sense? 

10. It is what it is

Per LSSU this phrase was previously banished in 2008 and is re-banished for "overuse, misuse, and uselessness: “pointless,” “cop-out,” “Adds no value.” “Verbal crutch.” “Excuse not to deal with reality or accept responsibility.” “Dismissive, borderline rude.” I don't know about you guys but I feel like these banished word people kinda sad and mad at all of us. lol. I feel like maybe they should talk to somebody about their feelings instead of making this list every year. But, hey, not my place to judge. It is what it is. 

IRREGARDLESS, it's time for me to go check on the sleepy furry meatloaf in the living room ...and make sure Goose is doing alright. BA DUMP BUMP. DAD JOKE. PAPA HAHA. Okay, time to go. Let me know what you guys are getting up to this weekend! Thanks, as always, for being here! Happy weekends! 💚 G