IT'S A TALENT SHOOhhhh no.... (Patreon)

Hey Patrons! Happy Monday after the #HellaGoodWedding! I’m sure you’re all equally feeling the same exhaustion I am, right??? Oh good! Err … rather… Hella good! Don’t worry you’ll hear about it on Wednesday! In the meantime, let me ease my introduction back to normal life with a little Down Under recap!

I’ll admit, I’m barely hanging on to this season at the moment. Which is a bummer because I had such high hopes in the beginning! I was rooting for you Down Under, WE WERE ALL ROOTING FOR YOU. When I try to figure out why it isn’t grabbing me …other than the obvious fact that I don’t like touching…I think it just feels both too overproduced and also, ironically, sloppy. Does that make sense? I feel like the queens are being coached on the sidelines to be slightly different than they normally are for ~drama~, but it’s not slick. At the same time it just feels a little all around sloppy…contestants being reintroduced for no reason, strange camera angles and rumored green screening in non green screen related moments, etc etc! All that said, last week’s episode had some *authentically* sweet moments that warmed my heart so I’m hoping they run with more of that this week.

Let’s start the episode!

Though I’m sad to see Maxi leave, I think she can leave with her bald head high because she seemed, to me, like the most authentic one in the werkroom start to finish.

But we quickly move from authenticity to Elektra and Scarlett being petty Bettys about the splits *My eyes do the splits and roll in separate directions* However, I love that the last 5 queens call themselves “top 4 plus Art!” And Kita Mean is fired up which is what I’ve been waiting to see!

It’s a new day in the werkroom and Kita reveals she wrote down who she thought would be in the top 5 and it’s everyone who’s left aside from Elektra. Looks like we’re getting yet another episode highlighting that Elektra is barely scraping by…or doing better than anyone could have expected. You know, I vaguely remember her saying in an early episode “welcome to the Elektra show” and damn she wasn’t kidding.

A message from Ru comes in hinting at a talent show and then Ru actually comes in confirming there’s a talent show. Kita gets to choose the order of the show! Here we go!

They discuss the order and I love that they use the term “sabo” for “sabotage”. Kita decides to “sit on it”…as you do…in the meantime they all start prepping their talents. Kita is doing magic - which I’m GENUINELY excited to see…Art is doing something with a klosch, Elektra is doing…hold onto your freaking butts…dance….and Scarlett is doing dancing with a pole. Not sure yet what Karen’s doing but I think it might be taxes.

Kita reveals the order and Elektra is last even though Scarlett asked. But turns out Elektra sneaky asked her. The shock. The forced drama continues!

Then Ru walks in with RAAAAVEN, who looks like a modern personified Jessica Rabbit, and they assess the contestants. We get to watch Elektra turn into one giant boner, Kita reveals her insecurity after Ru tells her right to her face she hates magic lol/aw, Scarlett tells us she’s never actually performed pole before and that she could potentially break her literal neck (cute!), Art is doing a performance “art” piece that involves holes and everyone is confused, and Karen is making balloon animals! This talent show is going to feel like the most fucked up children’s party and I’m ready for it.

Ru also challenges Karen to venture outside of her cubicle and try being sexy. Karen, very much like a Karen, accepts the challenge and then freaks the fuck out about doing what someone else suggested of her.

As the queens prep for the show they talk about negative social media and Art tells a heartbreaking story about a trans family member that took their life after threatening his. The projected struggle is heartbreaking and a reminder that humans are humans and you never know what someone is struggling with. Also a reminder that these larger than life queens are people at the end of the day. And based on the little that I’ve looked on social media in the past about this series Art was getting a lot of online hate. Another reminder that producers pull the strings on these shows and it’s never solely the fault of the queen for something like an out of the blue decision to let a queen back into the competition with no explanation.

It’s time for the show and Ru walks out looking like the Godess of lemon lime soda.

Karen: Tatted goofy tits - it’s a cute gimmick and then it ends. She gets to the actual talent of making a poodle tail with her mouth and I thought “here we go”…but then it was Karen that went. Off the stage. Because that was it. Uh oh.

Art: Does an impression of me raiding my kitchen stoned in the middle of the night. She ends with a fist in the mouth and walks off the exact same way I walk back into bed and pretend to Elliott that I just got up to pee.

Kita: lol the judges seem so unimpressed with her dress illusion act - it’s a really cute idea it just seems a little sloppy and maybe could be paced a little better?

Scarlett: wow - what the tuck was that!? Incredible

Elektra: I think I just watched a Sia music video?

Runway: Category is How’s Your Head… Piece

Karen: she keeps the poodle theme going!

Art: not so ironically she looks like a walking piece of art - I like the movement of the butterflies but maybe it’s underwhelming following Karen’s 6ft pink poodle on her head?

Kita: I love the fembot club kid look - I wasn’t sure about how successful the headpiece part of it was until she turned on the lights!

Scarlett: WOW THAT’S A LOT OF A LOT - Gorg

Elektra: a cute idea but maybe not enough?

The judging is actually so much nicer than I thought it’d be. Then Ru asks the dreaded question of who should go home tonight and surprise surprise everyone says Elektra. Less we not forget, it is the Elektra show. Elektra says Art which is honestly a safe choice since it is the top four plus Art.

Backstage the queens get an awkward and totally authentic video chat from the Veronicas where they ask them some completely not produced and real questions about who should be crowned the winner if it can’t be them.

The judges make their final decisions and Scarlett is the winner (not surprising)…but what is surprising is that she wins merch with her face on it??? Ha! What a dumb and wonderful gift. Elektra is in the bottom which again isn’t surprising…but then THEY PUT KITA IN THE BOTTOM. I started to have faith in these judges and then they go and do that! Why do they love Karen so much? Am I missing something? I guess Ru really meant it when she said she hated magic. Dang.

And now Kita has to lip sync in full club kid shoes. The lip sync is to a Veronicas song. And it’s a lot of stressful standing and stomping and then there’s a split and they sweetly end it together. Kita shanty’s and the Elektra show is over. Elektra sashays and maybe it was the best for Elektra that Kita was the one to send her home - it’s more sweet than bitter that way.

But good job, Elektra! You did great and I think you got to leave before the competition fully got to your head! And now we have our top four! Who are you all rooting for? I think I’m going for Kita and Art…I know Scarlett is tough competition but I think she lacks a little camp and Karen is only camp. But who knows! I truly don’t trust any of my own instincts anymore with this program! Lol! Okay, have great weeks you guys! ❤️G