TGIF!!! (Patreon)

Friends! It's Friday AGAIN! Can you even believe it? Well, you have to. And, no matter how hard we try to ignore the world we're living in by binging season 2 of the makeup competition show, Glow Up, on Netflix and obsessing over the idea that the one contestant's (Jake) overly injected lips might actually explode on camera, we have to bring ourselves back to reality. 

But, before we do that, let me take you on another quick journey that I just experienced and feel compelled to share. So I was casually googling "old woman balloon" photos to use as a header for this post - inspired by Mamrie's mom and her hilariously harmless prank on the 90 year old woman she helps.  I came across this wonderful woman. 

Clearly, she and her balloon have a lovely relationship. (I almost typed "smashing relationship" - geez, I've been watching too much Glow Up) Anyway, this woman freaking loves this orange balloon.

LOVES IT. I mean, LOOK AT THEM. 

Obviously, these are stock photos, which I GUESS 🤷🏼‍♀️ rationalizes why there are so many photos are this elderly woman with a balloon? But, I came up with a fun conspiracy theory that these aren't staged stock photos... instead, this photographer actually stumbled on an older lady on mushrooms and decided to take photos of her throughout the day. Please, let me indulge you in my fantasy. 

Yes, this woman innocently starts her psychedelic trip with this orange balloon. It's a lovely experience. 

Suddenly, she realizes SHE'S NEXT TO A PARK. A perfect place! She wanders over and gets into a long, slightly offensive conversation with some flowers.

But then she gets scared because she realizes she doesn't know where her jacket or hat came from.

WHO CARES THE FLOWERS ARE BACK AND SHE'S GONNA GIVE THEM A PIECE OF HER MIND

The convo gets heated so she decides, just like the mafia, that she's going to to kill their friends.

A garden employee forces her to stop ripping the plants out of the ground and sit down. She does, but she keeps her eyes on those "baby bitch" flowers, as she refers to them. 

She gets tired from all the attempted murder so she takes a nap.

JUST KIDDING THE SECOND WAVE KICKS IN

But this time, she's all about LOVE.

JUST KIDDING, SHE MAY FORGIVE BUT SHE NEVER FORGETS.

She sees those bitch ass flowers again and immediately starts ripping them apart.

Finally an employee kicks her out of the park completely. She only has one option. She changes her identity and becomes a pedicab driver.

And with that, the photographer lost the tripping elderly woman as she peddled her cab straight through the garden, causing thousands of dollars worth of damage. 

The end.

Or is it?

WHEW. Thank you guys for letting me share that with you. I hope you enjoyed it 1/1000th as much as I did.

AND NOW ON TO THE MAIN EVENT! 

Not sure how you felt, but I LOOOOOOVED going into the weekend with some goals with all of you! So, let's try it again! Here are 3 things I'm trying to accomplish this weekend. Feel free to share yours, or encourage others!  Spoiler, mine are kinda boring this weekend but OH WELL and as I'm typing this I realize I'm judging my own goals and we're not gonna do that no no no. These are great goals. The best goals! GOALS GOALS GOALS WE LOVE GOALS!

1. Meditate twice. I haven't done it in a while - I know it's helpful for me - I just gotta get my momentum with it going again. So, we'll start basic and just try to do it twice over the course of the weekend. I mean, I just spent an hour looking at stock photos of this woman (there are A LOT), I can spare 10 min a day to close my eyes and breathe.

2. Spend at least 2 hours reading. Who is she??? I know. But I'm starting some classes that require some reading so I gotta get that side of my brain going. And friends, as you can probably tell by the chaos of this post, I have a slightly difficult time focusing on quiet endeavors. But this weekend, we try!

3. Put together Mamrie's care package. Because Mamrie is in NC for the next month we wanted to send each other care packages to open on camera exclusively here on Patreon. I have some ideas on some dumb stuff and if I don't get myself motivated and do it this weekend I'll likely keep it in my brain as one of those fun things we 'could do.' Like the TMGW bench advertisement - remember that idea?! 

Okay those are my three goals! I'll check back in on Monday! Let me know what your goals are, if this is helpful, and how much you agree that, that woman was tripping her face off. HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND!!!! ❤️G